Walking away from a nasty marriage with no communication

[Sharmoota0909]

I'm in Providence, RI.

My sixth wedding anniversary was three weeks ago and I decided at that time that I am leaving. Four of the last six years have been the worst times of my life. I purchased a one way ticket to Jacksonville, FL. I'm leaving on June 10th. She obviously doesn't know about it and we don't really talk anymore anyway (I sleep in the lounge and have been doing so the last 10 months). I'm sure you've heard it all but here's a bit of my background:

The first two years were the honeymoon phase. Then, she got lazy and just plain nasty. She would not help me with the children when I needed her to, she would not help clean and tidy up the place (I did the cooking, cleaning, meal preps, etc). She would complain that she is tired from work. That's fine. I hired nannies and cleaners and they would only last a few days before not coming back because "she does not approve of their methods". She tried hiring them as well but she never could get along with them.

On her nice days, she would say: Go to gym, I got the kids. About 30 minutes into the gym, like clockwork the nasty texts would start (When are you coming home? You always do this to me, I have stuff to do, etc)

I work the longer hours and more demanding job (I'm a physician assistant at an ER and I work the graveyard shift). My mind is made up. It is actually affecting my work performance and my health (both mentally and physically)

My questions are as follows:

- I want her served with the divorce papers but can only do so when I am settled and find employment. Are there legal ramifications from "walking" away from this failed, nightmare of a marriage without communication?
- Must I include my new address or can I use a PO BOX in the divorce papers?
- Do I need to be in court physically for the divorce or can I do it through a lawyer?
- I am not seeking custody nor oppose her request for sole physical custody of the children. I am not even asking for visitation rights. Since I will be unemployed when I leave, can the court grant me a reprieve until I am employed again so I don't end up in arrears? Also, can I use a PO BOX instead of an actual address with the child support agency?

Thank you.

 

[stealth2]

I'm in Providence, RI.

My sixth wedding anniversary was three weeks ago and I decided at that time that I am leaving. Four of the last six years have been the worst times of my life. I purchased a one way ticket to Jacksonville, FL. I'm leaving on June 10th. She obviously doesn't know about it and we don't really talk anymore anyway (I sleep in the lounge and have been doing so the last 10 months). I'm sure you've heard it all but here's a bit of my background:

The first two years were the honeymoon phase. Then, she got lazy and just plain nasty. She would not help me with the children when I needed her to, she would not help clean and tidy up the place (I did the cooking, cleaning, meal preps, etc). She would complain that she is tired from work. That's fine. I hired nannies and cleaners and they would only last a few days before not coming back because "she does not approve of their methods". She tried hiring them as well but she never could get along with them.

On her nice days, she would say: Go to gym, I got the kids. About 30 minutes into the gym, like clockwork the nasty texts would start (When are you coming home? You always do this to me, I have stuff to do, etc)

I work the longer hours and more demanding job (I'm a physician assistant at an ER and I work the graveyard shift). My mind is made up. It is actually affecting my work performance and my health (both mentally and physically)

My questions are as follows:

- I want her served with the divorce papers but can only do so when I am settled and find employment. Are there legal ramifications from "walking" away from this failed, nightmare of a marriage without communication?
- Must I include my new address or can I use a PO BOX in the divorce papers?
- Do I need to be in court physically for the divorce or can I do it through a lawyer?
- I am not seeking custody nor oppose her request for sole physical custody of the children. I am not even asking for visitation rights. Since I will be unemployed when I leave, can the court grant me a reprieve until I am employed again so I don't end up in arrears? Also, can I use a PO BOX instead of an actual address with the child support agency?

Thank you.

Why will you be unemployed? Are the children yours jointly? How old are they? Why would you not seek visitation at the least?

 

[Zigner]

I'm in Providence, RI.

My sixth wedding anniversary was three weeks ago and I decided at that time that I am leaving. Four of the last six years have been the worst times of my life. I purchased a one way ticket to Jacksonville, FL. I'm leaving on June 10th. She obviously doesn't know about it and we don't really talk anymore anyway (I sleep in the lounge and have been doing so the last 10 months). I'm sure you've heard it all but here's a bit of my background:

The first two years were the honeymoon phase. Then, she got lazy and just plain nasty. She would not help me with the children when I needed her to, she would not help clean and tidy up the place (I did the cooking, cleaning, meal preps, etc). She would complain that she is tired from work. That's fine. I hired nannies and cleaners and they would only last a few days before not coming back because "she does not approve of their methods". She tried hiring them as well but she never could get along with them.

On her nice days, she would say: Go to gym, I got the kids. About 30 minutes into the gym, like clockwork the nasty texts would start (When are you coming home? You always do this to me, I have stuff to do, etc)

I work the longer hours and more demanding job (I'm a physician assistant at an ER and I work the graveyard shift). My mind is made up. It is actually affecting my work performance and my health (both mentally and physically)

My questions are as follows:

- I want her served with the divorce papers but can only do so when I am settled and find employment. Are there legal ramifications from "walking" away from this failed, nightmare of a marriage without communication?
- Must I include my new address or can I use a PO BOX in the divorce papers?
- Do I need to be in court physically for the divorce or can I do it through a lawyer?
- I am not seeking custody nor oppose her request for sole physical custody of the children. I am not even asking for visitation rights. Since I will be unemployed when I leave, can the court grant me a reprieve until I am employed again so I don't end up in arrears? Also, can I use a PO BOX instead of an actual address with the child support agency?

Thank you.

Your attitude towards your children appalls me. It's all about you, huh? No, the court will not defer child support while you find your way.

 

[Sharmoota0909]

Why will you be unemployed? Are the children yours jointly? How old are they? Why would you not seek visitation at the least?

I'm moving without a job. I gave my notice and my last day is June 8th.

Two of the three are hers. 10 and 9 years old. My child is 6 years old.

I've been scarred by how rowdy and misbehaved the older two kids are. I just don't need that in my life anymore. I'm moving on.

 

[Ohiogal]

He is not okay with living with her because she is lazy and nasty but he is okay with just leaving the children with her ... apparently he doesn't care about them.

 

[Sharmoota0909]

Your attitude towards your children appalls me. It's all about you, huh? No, the court will not defer child support while you find your way.

You're entitled to your opinion and so I am entitled to how I wish to live my life now.

If that is the case about the Child Support, then I will set cash aside but I will wait for others to respond.

 

[Sharmoota0909]

He is not okay with living with her because she is lazy and nasty but he is okay with just leaving the children with her ... apparently he doesn't care about them.

Why not answer the questions that I asked instead of commenting on what I am doing?

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm moving without a job. I gave my notice and my last day is June 8th.

Two of the three are hers. 10 and 9 years old. My child is 6 years old.

I've been scarred by how rowdy and misbehaved the older two kids are. I just don't need that in my life anymore. I'm moving on.

So how cares about the six year old -- he can fend for himself. YOU are moving on and don't need the hassle of your child. You don't need to be a parent and actually protect your child from two other kids that have "scarred" you. Jeez...if they "scarred" you, what will they do to your child? No matter, you don't care. You are a pathetic individual.