Divorce, 2 kids/what can a dad expect?

[tk1138]

I'm in PA (fault state). I got involved with someone years ago but came to my senses and haven't strayed since. We have two children and I found out my wife had been involved with someone she met on Facebook for months. She has lied about meeting him as I have seen pics of them together. She even admitted when I confronted her about it. I have her on a recording admitting how long and that it was a romantic relationship. I really only want to fix my marriage and give my children a family but I realize that she no longer wants to be married. Even after she says she wants shared custody among other things, I don't feel I can trust anything she says. What should I do or prepare for? Thanks

 

[Zigner]

I'm in PA (fault state). I got involved with someone years ago but came to my senses and haven't strayed since. We have two children and I found out my wife had been involved with someone she met on Facebook for months. She has lied about meeting him as I have seen pics of them together. She even admitted when I confronted her about it. I have her on a recording admitting how long and that it was a romantic relationship. I really only want to fix my marriage and give my children a family but I realize that she no longer wants to be married. Even after she says she wants shared custody among other things, I don't feel I can trust anything she says. What should I do or prepare for? Thanks

Your question is very broad. I would suggest that you speak to a local attorney and, quite possibly, retain an attorney.

 

[tranquility]

Your question is very broad. I would suggest that you speak to a local attorney and, quite possibly, retain an attorney.

No, no, wait. Bali will tell him where to bend over.

 

[LdiJ]

I'm in PA (fault state). I got involved with someone years ago but came to my senses and haven't strayed since. We have two children and I found out my wife had been involved with someone she met on Facebook for months. She has lied about meeting him as I have seen pics of them together. She even admitted when I confronted her about it. I have her on a recording admitting how long and that it was a romantic relationship. I really only want to fix my marriage and give my children a family but I realize that she no longer wants to be married. Even after she says she wants shared custody among other things, I don't feel I can trust anything she says. What should I do or prepare for? Thanks

I agree its a very broad question which can only be answered broadly...

Expect to divide your marital assets and debts 50/50.

Expect to share your children based on a timeshare that either you and mom negotiate or that a judge decides is in the best interest of your children if you and mom cannot come to an agreement. If you make more money than mom, expect to pay some child support even if you end up with a 50/50 timeshare.

Expect the adultery to not be of much import, other than to give you the "fault" reason you need for a divorce. It would really be more than a bit tacky of you to attempt to make it of more import than that, since your own hands are not clean.

Expect that the divorce will be hard on your children, and even harder on them if you and mom cannot come to amicable agreements and amicably coparent afterwards. Leave your ego at the door for the sake of your children.

 

[Silverplum]

It doesn't have to be a "fault divorce." PA offers two "no-fault" options.

http://www.pacourts.us/learn/representing-yourself/divorce-proceedings

 

[Bali Hai]

No, no, wait. Bali will tell him where to bend over.

You know that's the truth. Don't use me as your scapegoat.

 

[Proserpina]

No, no, wait. Bali will tell him where to bend over.

Oh great. See what you did?

 

[Janinebadine]

divorce, 2 kids/what can a dad expect? Regarding visitation plan

Tk, I have just one thing to tell you-- there is NO SUCH THING as a "standard visitation." Remember...it is all negotiable.

In my preliminary paperwork regarding Visitation there were 2 sheets--one said "standard option" and it was nicely pre-filled with visitation every other weekend and a mid-week dinner every other week. The other said "custom option" and it had so many blanks it was intimidating and confusing. I knew this was preliminary so I used the standard option sheet and figured I would go over it with my lawyer later. That is FOUR nights a week out of every month. I cannot tell you how much grief came from the fact that I preliminarily used the "standard option" and made the mistake of letting my ex see it before I met with the lawyer. I was accused of only wanting to be a four night per month mom so I can just party the rest of the time...not true. I finally met with my lawyer, she told me one of her clients consistently test positive for heroin and SHE has more visitation than that, so unacceptable. But when I realized my mistake My ex accused me of going back on my agreement and I was villainized to the children. He sent them to my house to beg to be allowed to stay with him "like I promised."

Also, don't show ANYTHING to your spouse, let everything come from the lawyer. Please learn a lesson from my experience.