Can I require post correspondence from ex's lawyer instead of email?

[Janinebadine]

My divorce was final in April. My ex's lawyer continues to email frivolous threatening letters to my lawyer every time the ex's imagination runs wild, which costs me money. I need it as inconvenient as possible for him to continue this behavior. I recently told my lawyer she is no longer retained and asked her to tell them to contact me directly and explained why. Can I legally require his lawyer to contact me by regular post instead of email? Must I reply to emailed correspondence? Must I reply to regular post correspondence? The last letter was rambling catharsis with no clear action required by me, yet a "response" is required in 5 days. Not sure how to respond except that every point mentioned is completely inaccurate.

 

[Just Blue]

My divorce was final in April. My ex's lawyer continues to email frivolous threatening letters to my lawyer every time the ex's imagination runs wild, which costs me money. I need it as inconvenient as possible for him to continue this behavior. I recently told my lawyer she is no longer retained and asked her to tell them to contact me directly and explained why. Can I legally require his lawyer to contact me by regular post instead of email? Must I reply to emailed correspondence? Must I reply to regular post correspondence? The last letter was rambling catharsis with no clear action required by me, yet a "response" is required in 5 days. Not sure how to respond except that every point mentioned is completely inaccurate.

Do you have children together? Is that why he is "contacting" you?

 

[Janinebadine]

Can I require post correspondence from ex's lawyer instead of email

You guessed it. Last week I carefully introduced them (17 yrs and 11 yrs) to someone I've been seeing since last December, everyone had a great time. By the time they got home and were interrogated by my ex it was a completely different story, (or my ex heard what he wanted to hear). The 17 year old may have lied a little, understandably, to keep the heat and anger from landing on him. My ex is controlling and hyperbolic.

 

[Janinebadine]

Can I require post correspondence from ex's lawyer instead of email

I currently see my options as this--1. no response and wait for mail correspondence ( one allegation is I've moved so it would be great to force them to send mail to my true address, which hasn't changed.). 2. Respond to the email correspondence and say thank you for the letter, it is entirely untrue and if my ex wants to force it to court I look forward to proving his allegations baseless. 3. No response at all because of the lack of actionable items to respond to.

 

[FlyingRon]

Are you in the US?

 

[Ohiogal]

You guessed it. Last week I carefully introduced them (17 yrs and 11 yrs) to someone I've been seeing since last December, everyone had a great time. By the time they got home and were interrogated by my ex it was a completely different story, (or my ex heard what he wanted to hear). The 17 year old may have lied a little, understandably, to keep the heat and anger from landing on him. My ex is controlling and hyperbolic.

So you thought it was a good idea to introduce your children to your adulterous lover and expected everything to be hunky dory? It is only June. And your divorce was final in APRIL -- two months ago.

 

[Janinebadine]

Can I require post correspondence from ex's lawyer instead of email

Yes, I'm in the United States. Missouri.
I met a person after moving out of the marital home after years of physical abuse that got bad enough to require an emergency room visit, I never committed "adultery". The marriage ended when we no longer cohabitated, the rest was paperwork. That is beside the point, though. Right now my concern is how to make it a little less convenient for him to try to control me with his lawyer letters approximately every two weeks.

 

[single317dad]

No one here can advise you on any blanket response/non-response to any communication you might receive from your ex's attorney. Each communication should be read and either ignored or responded to, depending on its content. If you respond to every communication you'll only encourage more; if you ignore them all you'll surely come to regret that one day.

As far as requiring communication through the postal service: think about yourself, and only yourself for a moment. How does that help you? Sure, it might be a pain for the ex and cost a bit more in fees, but putting the shaft to the ex is just engaging in the game.

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes, I'm in the United States. Missouri.
I met a person after moving out of the marital home after years of physical abuse that got bad enough to require an emergency room visit, I never committed "adultery". The marriage ended when we no longer cohabitated, the rest was paperwork. That is beside the point, though. Right now my concern is how to make it a little less convenient for him to try to control me with his lawyer letters approximately every two weeks.

He was abusive and you chose to leave the children with him and only have visitation. You moved on with another man while still married -- yes that is adultery. That is the actual definition thereof. And no, it is NOT beside the point. Letters cannot control you. Unless you let him control you. You weren't really controlled if you have already moved with a new bedbuddy and you left the children with him and granted him primary custody.

 

[Janinebadine]

Thanks, that is good advice and a good point. You are right--some things are legit and others are catharsis so I will have to judge accordingly and deal with the consequences if I make the wrong decision. I prefer to communicate through the usual channels for 99% of things, I wish he would do the same. Without doubt he can outspend me and having his lawyer draft a letter is the only intimidation tool he has left. I'm hoping that by taking away the instant gratification of an immediate response he will eventually bored of this game.

 

[Janinebadine]

Ohiogal, I guess you are right--that is the legal definition of adultery. By mutual decision, after we agreed to divorce and live separately I suppose we both were guilty of legal adultery.