Just Curious

[CTU]

Mom, you've got an intelligent head on your shoulders. I know that you think you know what's best for your child in terms of who gets to see her, when, and under what circumstances and that's very common and is considered by some to be very normal. That's all very nice, but the reality is that you're going to be co-parenting this child for a very, very long time and you and Dad need to work with each other rather than against each other and truthfully that realization can be the hardest hurdle to overcome.

And sometimes that's not possible. Sometimes it can feel like you had a child with Satan's Chipmunk. But for the most part, if two parents can accept that neither is "better" or "more important" than the other the co-parenting becomes much much easier and - clutch your pearls here, because this is a radical thought - you can both actually enjoy the path of parenting your child together.

Spend some time reading the forum. Go through the archives. Learn what does and doesn't matter to the court, which battles are worth fighting and which aren't, and know when to roll your eyes in private and when to calmly say your piece.

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here. Don't go ruining my day.

 

[justalayman]

Mom, you've got an intelligent head on your shoulders. I know that you think you know what's best for your child in terms of who gets to see her, when, and under what circumstances and that's very common and is considered by some to be very normal. That's all very nice, but the reality is that you're going to be co-parenting this child for a very, very long time and you and Dad need to work with each other rather than against each other and truthfully that realization can be the hardest hurdle to overcome.

And sometimes that's not possible. Sometimes it can feel like you had a child with Satan's Chipmunk. But for the most part, if two parents can accept that neither is "better" or "more important" than the other the co-parenting becomes much much easier and - clutch your pearls here, because this is a radical thought - you can both actually enjoy the path of parenting your child together.

Spend some time reading the forum. Go through the archives. Learn what does and doesn't matter to the court, which battles are worth fighting and which aren't, and know when to roll your eyes in private and when to calmly say your piece.

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here. Don't go ruining my day.

Satan's chipmunk?

 

[stealth2]

Thank you. The dad put in his plan to have a 2 month phase in time but I didn't know what to put in mind. We are working at increasing his time with her now. I want her to be comfortable and familiar with him.

If you/the child were comfortable with her being left alone outside of your supervision at the daycare, first for short periods and a week later all day, then it would seem she would be fine after a similar type of "phasing in" period with her father for unsupervised time. Overnights? You need to work actively to allow her to receive her father's comforting at night. He may not - and does not have to - do it the same way you do. She will learn.

 

[Attesor]

So realistically not a lot.

I suspect the father needs the phase in time more than the child. Kids are very adapting. Dad learning how to be a dad is much more difficult. It can be hectic.

Best of luck and always remember; it's his child too and kids should never be used as tools or for leverage.

Thank you, I appreciate your legal advice. You didn't make any sarcastic or rude remarks, it's refreshing. Thanks again!

 

[Attesor]

Mom, you've got an intelligent head on your shoulders. I know that you think you know what's best for your child in terms of who gets to see her, when, and under what circumstances and that's very common and is considered by some to be very normal. That's all very nice, but the reality is that you're going to be co-parenting this child for a very, very long time and you and Dad need to work with each other rather than against each other and truthfully that realization can be the hardest hurdle to overcome.

And sometimes that's not possible. Sometimes it can feel like you had a child with Satan's Chipmunk. But for the most part, if two parents can accept that neither is "better" or "more important" than the other the co-parenting becomes much much easier and - clutch your pearls here, because this is a radical thought - you can both actually enjoy the path of parenting your child together.

Spend some time reading the forum. Go through the archives. Learn what does and doesn't matter to the court, which battles are worth fighting and which aren't, and know when to roll your eyes in private and when to calmly say your piece.

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here. Don't go ruining my day.

Thank you very much, you're right.

 

[Attesor]

If you/the child were comfortable with her being left alone outside of your supervision at the daycare, first for short periods and a week later all day, then it would seem she would be fine after a similar type of "phasing in" period with her father for unsupervised time. Overnights? You need to work actively to allow her to receive her father's comforting at night. He may not - and does not have to - do it the same way you do. She will learn.

Ok. Thank you very much.

 

[CTU]

Satan's chipmunk?

Satan's Incubi sometimes go on vacation and leave the chipmunks to do the hard work. Kind of like the replacement refs, but minus Aaron Rodgers.

Or so I've been told ...