Contributing to delinquency of a minor

[justalayman]

I understand the points and don't disagree. Just the same, I would do a lot to keep my kids out of jail. It's not a nice nor fun place.

 

[eerelations]

I understand the points and don't disagree. Just the same, I would do a lot to keep my kids out of jail. It's not a nice nor fun place.

I agree with you. If it had been something really morally reprehensible - like murder, grievous assault, rape etc. - I would have said leave him in jail, let him find his own bail. But for something like this? I would have bailed him out too. (Although I wouldn't have been too nice about it, nor would I have tried to blame the girl for it.)

I am just annoyed that after bailing her wayward son out of jail, OP continued to try to shift blame onto the girl and her parents, and excuse her son because he's a minor in her eyes.

 

[Lynsky]

A public defender *is* a lawyer.

Why on G--'s green earth would you post bail for your son?




It is better to take legal advice from a lawyer. The police you have spoken to are not licensed to practice law.

There are other options that might be available to your son other than just straight out pleading guilty.

Your adult son should make his own account here and ask his own questions.

First off someone needs to post bail. We are the only ones who could have. I also told the cops that it might be a good idea to keep him overnite to shake some sense int him. Then when he called me at 2am I told him I would not be there till the morning. His night in jail seems to have worked. He is scared to death he might serve jail time.

 

[Lynsky]

I agree with you. If it had been something really morally reprehensible - like murder, grievous assault, rape etc. - I would have said leave him in jail, let him find his own bail. But for something like this? I would have bailed him out too. (Although I wouldn't have been too nice about it, nor would I have tried to blame the girl for it.)

I am just annoyed that after bailing her wayward son out of jail, OP continued to try to shift blame onto the girl and her parents, and excuse her son because he's a minor in her eyes.

Not blame. I have since found out things about her that has made me think she needs a rude awakening. She is not an innocent little girl. She claims to be lesbian but has groped both my sons and other boys too in the neighborhood. She has gotten other people to buy her booze and gotten drunk on plenty of occasions. Far from innocent. And my son has taken complete responsibility for it. her 12 yo brother drives a 4 wheeler around the neighborhood crazily. The mom has no idea how her kids are because she is busy running around with her boyfriend to out of town places. I am in no way taking the blame off my son for supplying the liquor but the girl needs an intervention.

 

[CTU]

First off someone needs to post bail.

That's a flawed premise to begin with.

We are the only ones who could have. I also told the cops that it might be a good idea to keep him overnite to shake some sense int him. Then when he called me at 2am I told him I would not be there till the morning. His night in jail seems to have worked. He is scared to death he might serve jail time.

That's nice.

 

[Lynsky]

Like button. (Why oh why don't we have a like button anymore???)

OP says her son only did this because the girl asked him to. So it's therefore it's her fault. (Because apparently, we are always compelled to do whatever anyone asks us to do.)

Then she said it was because the girl's parents were away. So it's not just the girl's fault, it's her parents' fault too. (Because apparently, 16-year-old girls always have the power to force adults to do whatever they want them to do when said girls' parents are away, and the cops should know this.)

And wait! Because her son is under 21, it can't be his fault no matter what, because he's a minor too! (Well maybe he isn't a minor, but if Mummy treats him like one, then he is.)

Don't twist my words around.

 

[quincy]

First off someone needs to post bail. We are the only ones who could have. I also told the cops that it might be a good idea to keep him overnite to shake some sense int him. Then when he called me at 2am I told him I would not be there till the morning. His night in jail seems to have worked. He is scared to death he might serve jail time.

You can pay for his attorney. He can pay you back. Other than that, there is little you can do.

The attorney your son sees can tell him if the 16-year-old asking your son to purchase the alcohol can be worked to your son's favor. It might. Then again, it might not.

Posting about this online is probably something your son's attorney would frown on.

 

[Lynsky]

One should not take legal advice from the police. He needs an attorney.

By the way, I've never known any 20 year olds that have 16 year old "friends".

All the kids in the neighborhood are my younger sons age or slightly younger. My 20yo is the oldest. That's why he has 16yo friends. Like that's never happened before. Are you for real.

 

[Lynsky]

You need do nothing. This is your adult son issue to deal with. He made the bed...not he has to sleep in it.

Actually he has. He has called a lawyer. Set up an appointment. Called the court to find out what the court fees would be. And is looking up what the penalty is. And freaking out over that. Yeah 20 is considered legally an adult but for someone who has never been in something like that before, what kind of parent would just leave them out to hang. I will tell you, the same kind of parent who doesn't have nothing to do with them while growing up. And that is not me.

 

[Lynsky]

have you ever been arrested or been in jail? While I agree the kid needs a wake up call, allowing one's child to languish in jail is a very difficult thing to do. If you have never been in jail it is very difficult to explain the feelings one can experience. Even in the jails that are not dens of violence, it doesn't take long to injure a persons psyche. Yes, the kid screwed up but with any hope, the processing and minimal time spent in jail already will stir something in him.

If not, he's young and has plenty of time to earn time in the pokey.

I believe it already has.

 

[quincy]

Actually he has. He has called a lawyer. Set up an appointment ...

It is good that your son has already called a lawyer.

The lawyer will more-than-likely tell him to refrain from posting anything online about the trouble he is in. You should likewise refrain. Your comments, about the girl and your son's role in purchasing alcohol for her, will not benefit your son and could hurt him.

 

[Lynsky]

This helicopter parent posted about her 20 year old son's legal problems in the Juvenile Law section. 20 year old son.

He may be young, but he's no juvenile, and I'd be willing to bet that he's been doing a lot of stupid things for a while. This is only the first time he's gotten caught by the police.

No he's more of a wallflower type kid. Never spent the nite away. Never went to school dances. Never went to teen parties. He is a shy kid.

 

[Lynsky]

You can pay for his attorney. He can pay you back. Other than that, there is little you can do.

The attorney your son sees can tell him if the 16-year-old asking your son to purchase the alcohol can be worked to your son's favor. It might. Then again, it might not.

Posting about this online is probably something your son's attorney would frown on.

He didn't purchase any alcohol.

 

[quincy]

He didn't purchase any alcohol.

Ah.

I recommend you stop posting about your son's situation online.