Mother moved before I filed motion to contest the move..is it too late?

[whodey01]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

First time posting here so probably ramble a bit.

A little background of my situation. My children's mother and I were never married. We have a 7 year old and a 3 year old. Her and I were together up until Feb of 2015. We split up, she moved out of my apartment and (although I offered and begged to keep the kids) she moved with the kids about 45 minutes away to her dads house and pulled our daughter out of kindergarten and started her in a new school in her dads town. Since then she has moved from her dads house, to another house in the same town, to another house in the same town, and then again to a different house in the same town. All 4 (if you include the move from my apartment) happened in a matter of 15 months...not good consistency for the kids or stability.

We recently went to court to establish a shared parenting plan, I was the one who started that process because I wanted equal rights to my children. It was finally settled and put in place April of 2016. Its stated that I get them every weekend and I DO indeed get them every weekend. Also have the option of visiting them one evening during the week which I do occasionally but not usually. I do however talk to them via phone often and always keep up with their activities and always involved in their lives. Always. I go to every school event my daughter has and also attend every conference she has. My children and I have a very strong relationship and they absolutely adore me. In fact, put me in the same room as their mother and they immediately flock to me. My point is, I am very close to my kids and it can be proven if need be but their mother would never deny it and its certainly obvious.

So now to the issue. She has been saying for months she wanted to move from her current town to a town that is out of state. We live close to the state border so although its "out of state", its technically only like 45 mins away from her current town and also an additional 45 mins away from me bringing total time from me to like 2 hours. I have been saying I do not like the move at all and it hasn't been an issue until she actually found a home and wanted to move. She told me her and her new husband (who she married Nov 2015) bought house and were moving in soon. I was against it. She filed an intent to move on November 2nd of this year and then moved on November 9th. I received the intent to move in the mail on the 4th and it said if she is moving out of state she must file 60 days before the move. Thats obviously not the case here. I do want to contest the move but given the fact she has already moved and our daughter has already been (once again) pulled out of school and started a new school today, I don't know what to do. From what I read online, they will just modify the plan to accommodate the move.

Now I do not have the option to see them during the week. Well I do but its a 4 hour round trip which just is not feasible. I do still get them weekends but now its a longer drive for me. If I want to attend her school conferences, which I will, Id have to leave work nearly 3 hours early to make it there on time. Just ridiculous.

Do i have any option? If I did file a contest to her move, what would they do? I feel like I could contest it but would then walk out with less rights then when I went in. My fiancé seems to think that they will hold her in contempt but then what? She still moved and the kids still live that far away from me. I don't care if they fine her or send her to jail for 30 days or whatever..i care that they live further from me which makes it impossible for me to be there for them at all times. There are often times where she needs me to get them on short notice and I do...now they are so far that option is not as easy as it once was.

Please help!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

First time posting here so probably ramble a bit.

A little background of my situation. My children's mother and I were never married. We have a 7 year old and a 3 year old. Her and I were together up until Feb of 2015. We split up, she moved out of my apartment and (although I offered and begged to keep the kids) she moved with the kids about 45 minutes away to her dads house and pulled our daughter out of kindergarten and started her in a new school in her dads town. Since then she has moved from her dads house, to another house in the same town, to another house in the same town, and then again to a different house in the same town. All 4 (if you include the move from my apartment) happened in a matter of 15 months...not good consistency for the kids or stability.

We recently went to court to establish a shared parenting plan, I was the one who started that process because I wanted equal rights to my children. It was finally settled and put in place April of 2016. Its stated that I get them every weekend and I DO indeed get them every weekend. Also have the option of visiting them one evening during the week which I do occasionally but not usually. I do however talk to them via phone often and always keep up with their activities and always involved in their lives. Always. I go to every school event my daughter has and also attend every conference she has. My children and I have a very strong relationship and they absolutely adore me. In fact, put me in the same room as their mother and they immediately flock to me. My point is, I am very close to my kids and it can be proven if need be but their mother would never deny it and its certainly obvious.

So now to the issue. She has been saying for months she wanted to move from her current town to a town that is out of state. We live close to the state border so although its "out of state", its technically only like 45 mins away from her current town and also an additional 45 mins away from me bringing total time from me to like 2 hours. I have been saying I do not like the move at all and it hasn't been an issue until she actually found a home and wanted to move. She told me her and her new husband (who she married Nov 2015) bought house and were moving in soon. I was against it. She filed an intent to move on November 2nd of this year and then moved on November 9th. I received the intent to move in the mail on the 4th and it said if she is moving out of state she must file 60 days before the move. Thats obviously not the case here. I do want to contest the move but given the fact she has already moved and our daughter has already been (once again) pulled out of school and started a new school today, I don't know what to do. From what I read online, they will just modify the plan to accommodate the move.

Now I do not have the option to see them during the week. Well I do but its a 4 hour round trip which just is not feasible. I do still get them weekends but now its a longer drive for me. If I want to attend her school conferences, which I will, Id have to leave work nearly 3 hours early to make it there on time. Just ridiculous.

Do i have any option? If I did file a contest to her move, what would they do? I feel like I could contest it but would then walk out with less rights then when I went in. My fiancé seems to think that they will hold her in contempt but then what? She still moved and the kids still live that far away from me. I don't care if they fine her or send her to jail for 30 days or whatever..i care that they live further from me which makes it impossible for me to be there for them at all times. There are often times where she needs me to get them on short notice and I do...now they are so far that option is not as easy as it once was.

Please help!

You could try, but the odds would not be in your favor. However, mom did increase the distance between your home and hers, and you could definitely petition for mom to be responsible for transportation for at least the increased distance. You also could possibly have mom held in contempt for not doing things the right way and possibly she would get fined for that.

 

[wavehopper27]

Is there any language in your custody agreement that states that she needs your permission to relocate with the kids?

 

[LdiJ]

Is there any language in your custody agreement that states that she needs your permission to relocate with the kids?

The problem is that the main relocation took place 15 months ago, visitation was set up based on a semi-long distance plan, and that plan can still be maintained even with the increased distance. Yes, he can argue that he can no longer exercise mid-week visits, but he is getting EVERY weekend and wasn't, by his own admission, exercising the mid-week visits anyway.

I honestly think that his best bet at this point is to get mom responsible for providing the bulk of the transportation.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Ohio

First time posting here so probably ramble a bit.

A little background of my situation. My children's mother and I were never married. We have a 7 year old and a 3 year old. Her and I were together up until Feb of 2015. We split up, she moved out of my apartment and (although I offered and begged to keep the kids) she moved with the kids about 45 minutes away to her dads house and pulled our daughter out of kindergarten and started her in a new school in her dads town. Since then she has moved from her dads house, to another house in the same town, to another house in the same town, and then again to a different house in the same town. All 4 (if you include the move from my apartment) happened in a matter of 15 months...not good consistency for the kids or stability.

We recently went to court to establish a shared parenting plan, I was the one who started that process because I wanted equal rights to my children. It was finally settled and put in place April of 2016. Its stated that I get them every weekend and I DO indeed get them every weekend. Also have the option of visiting them one evening during the week which I do occasionally but not usually. I do however talk to them via phone often and always keep up with their activities and always involved in their lives. Always. I go to every school event my daughter has and also attend every conference she has. My children and I have a very strong relationship and they absolutely adore me. In fact, put me in the same room as their mother and they immediately flock to me. My point is, I am very close to my kids and it can be proven if need be but their mother would never deny it and its certainly obvious.

So now to the issue. She has been saying for months she wanted to move from her current town to a town that is out of state. We live close to the state border so although its "out of state", its technically only like 45 mins away from her current town and also an additional 45 mins away from me bringing total time from me to like 2 hours. I have been saying I do not like the move at all and it hasn't been an issue until she actually found a home and wanted to move. She told me her and her new husband (who she married Nov 2015) bought house and were moving in soon. I was against it. She filed an intent to move on November 2nd of this year and then moved on November 9th. I received the intent to move in the mail on the 4th and it said if she is moving out of state she must file 60 days before the move. Thats obviously not the case here. I do want to contest the move but given the fact she has already moved and our daughter has already been (once again) pulled out of school and started a new school today, I don't know what to do. From what I read online, they will just modify the plan to accommodate the move.

Now I do not have the option to see them during the week. Well I do but its a 4 hour round trip which just is not feasible. I do still get them weekends but now its a longer drive for me. If I want to attend her school conferences, which I will, Id have to leave work nearly 3 hours early to make it there on time. Just ridiculous.

Do i have any option? If I did file a contest to her move, what would they do? I feel like I could contest it but would then walk out with less rights then when I went in. My fiancé seems to think that they will hold her in contempt but then what? She still moved and the kids still live that far away from me. I don't care if they fine her or send her to jail for 30 days or whatever..i care that they live further from me which makes it impossible for me to be there for them at all times. There are often times where she needs me to get them on short notice and I do...now they are so far that option is not as easy as it once was.

Please help!

Don't listen to LD. Mom did not give you proper notice. File to contest it and change the shared parenting plan so that your children live primarily with you. Mom needed to follow the law. File immediately to contest your children being moved. Ask that you become residential for school purposes due to the lack of stability with mother since the shared parenting plan.

 

[Ohiogal]

You could try, but the odds would not be in your favor. However, mom did increase the distance between your home and hers, and you could definitely petition for mom to be responsible for transportation for at least the increased distance. You also could possibly have mom held in contempt for not doing things the right way and possibly she would get fined for that.

You are wrong. He could get the shared parenting plan changed because of this to where he is residential for school purposes and the children live primarily with him. That happens when there is a shared parenting plan and someone doesn't follow the law.

 

[Ohiogal]

Is there any language in your custody agreement that states that she needs your permission to relocate with the kids?

Statute ... 3109.051(G). She didn't follow it.

 

[Ohiogal]

The problem is that the main relocation took place 15 months ago, visitation was set up based on a semi-long distance plan, and that plan can still be maintained even with the increased distance. Yes, he can argue that he can no longer exercise mid-week visits, but he is getting EVERY weekend and wasn't, by his own admission, exercising the mid-week visits anyway.

I honestly think that his best bet at this point is to get mom responsible for providing the bulk of the transportation.

45 minutes is NOT a long distance plan in this state. Out of state is a vastly different idea in Ohio. He should fight to have residential parent for school purposes changed to him. He also can't participate as readily in education or anything else. You are completely wrong about this.

 

[LdiJ]

45 minutes is NOT a long distance plan in this state. Out of state is a vastly different idea in Ohio. He should fight to have residential parent for school purposes changed to him. He also can't participate as readily in education or anything else. You are completely wrong about this.

Sorry, but I still disagree with you. This is a situation where the children will have to change schools either way, therefore a judge has to make a best interests decision based on what is the least disruptive to the children...because, after all, this is about the children, not about either of the parents. So, is it less disruptive for the children to move with the parent who is their primary custodian, in a situation where it does not disrupt their time with their other parent...basically keeping the status quo other than the change in schools, OR should the children's status quo be completely disrupted in all ways, in order to move in with their other parent.

I certainly know what I believe to be in the best interests of the children. I realize that you do not agree with that but its still my opinion.

 

[Silverplum]

The problem is that the main relocation took place 15 months ago, visitation was set up based on a semi-long distance plan, and that plan can still be maintained even with the increased distance. Yes, he can argue that he can no longer exercise mid-week visits, but he is getting EVERY weekend and wasn't, by his own admission, exercising the mid-week visits anyway.

I honestly think that his best bet at this point is to get mom responsible for providing the bulk of the transportation.

No, the out-of-state relocation the OP is discussing happened last week, not 15 months ago.

(Thank you, dear OG! )

 

[Ohiogal]

Sorry, but I still disagree with you. This is a situation where the children will have to change schools either way, therefore a judge has to make a best interests decision based on what is the least disruptive to the children...because, after all, this is about the children, not about either of the parents. So, is it less disruptive for the children to move with the parent who is their primary custodian, in a situation where it does not disrupt their time with their other parent...basically keeping the status quo other than the change in schools, OR should the children's status quo be completely disrupted in all ways, in order to move in with their other parent.

I certainly know what I believe to be in the best interests of the children. I realize that you do not agree with that but its still my opinion.

Your opinion which is NOT based upon the law of the State of ohio or your personal practice in Ohio. Jeez which one of us has the Ohio Supreme Court certified and licensed as knowing their stuff. One hint -- NOT YOU. Second hint to the OP -- ME.

 

[Zigner]

I realize that you do not agree with that but its still my opinion.

I gotta say, of all the matters that you may choose to disagree with OhioGal over, you probably should avoid disagreeing over matters that have to do with Ohio family law

 

[wavehopper27]

Your opinion which is NOT based upon the law of the State of ohio or your personal practice in Ohio. Jeez which one of us has the Ohio Supreme Court certified and licensed as knowing their stuff. One hint -- NOT YOU. Second hint to the OP -- ME.

Advantage, Ohiogal.

 

[whodey01]

Your opinion which is NOT based upon the law of the State of ohio or your personal practice in Ohio. Jeez which one of us has the Ohio Supreme Court certified and licensed as knowing their stuff. One hint -- NOT YOU. Second hint to the OP -- ME.

A little more clarification. Shared Parenting was established April 2016 because I knew she would try to move the kids or do something without me being involved in the decision. Sure enough she did, she pulled daughter our of school and moved them across the indiana border even when I told her I did not agree with the move. As I said in original post, she moved Nov 9th but filed the notice Nov 2nd. Clearly not the 60 day notice required by State of OH...especially when considering she moved out of Ohio.

The move was not in the best interest of the kids. She moved so her husband could live closer to his daughter.

I understand what you all mean. LD saying the judge won't want to pull her out of school again just to live with me or make mom move back. I agree with OHgal saying I have potential of getting both of them living with me for stability. Im still in a pickle. I know I need to make a decision like Mon morning if I want to file a contest. Like I said, my fear is that they'll just modify the current plan to accommodate the distance and basically tell me to deal with it.

 

[not2cleverRed]

A little more clarification. Shared Parenting was established April 2016 because I knew she would try to move the kids or do something without me being involved in the decision. Sure enough she did, she pulled daughter our of school and moved them across the indiana border even when I told her I did not agree with the move. As I said in original post, she moved Nov 9th but filed the notice Nov 2nd. Clearly not the 60 day notice required by State of OH...especially when considering she moved out of Ohio.

The move was not in the best interest of the kids. She moved so her husband could live closer to his daughter.

I understand what you all mean. LD saying the judge won't want to pull her out of school again just to live with me or make mom move back. I agree with OHgal saying I have potential of getting both of them living with me for stability. Im still in a pickle. I know I need to make a decision like Mon morning if I want to file a contest. Like I said, my fear is that they'll just modify the current plan to accommodate the distance and basically tell me to deal with it.

Hint: Listen to OG.

Yes, she's moved... but that doesn't mean you can't contest it. By all means contest it.

And yes, a court *can* rule that the kids' school district is in Ohio, especially when Mom pulls a stunt like this - it's not like it's an emergency move and notice wasn't possible.