Pregnant teen reveals master runaway plan

[Pinkie39]

The minimum age to take the GED test in Indiana is 16, as in most states.

 

[CdwJava]

She cannot take the GED (now re-named to the High School Equivalency, or HSE, exam) in Indiana until she is at least 16.

(Oops! Cross post! Didn't mean to take Pinkie's "thunder" on this.)

 

[Ohiogal]

What did I say?

What do you mean, admit defeat? How do you admit defeat as a parent? She wants to move in with her boyfriend. Are you telling me that I should let her?

If she's not at my house, where is she supposed to be? I raised six children before her and they all came out fine. Her sister is doing fine.

I may be a little bit strict but that isn't a crime. I'm trying to fix things. I just don't know how.

I'll let her take the GED test. I don't see how a freshman can pass it but we'll see.

Her sister, her sister her sister. DAMN you just can't quit with comparing her. SHE IS NOT HER SISTER. And you refuse to comprehend what we are all saying. You are the issue here. Even more so than this child. The more you talk, the more you show it. Let her move in with her grandparents -- her father's parents if they want her. YOU are NO GOOD for her. NONE.

 

[stealth2]

I understand the hair thing, to a point. My youngest was the when she was little, so I did have her hair cut, but by MS (abt 10, it was 'your hair, your choice.').

As I posted before, she is taking control the only way she can - by having a baby. You have taken all of her other areas of autonomy away. Even now, while purporting to give her control of her clothes, hair, etc., you are putting conditions on her choices. That's not really giving her an opportunity to make her own decisions.

Have you spoken with the school about her truancy? Her guidance counselor about her boredom, etc.? Asked him/her to speak with her about her future goals?

I suspect you may have already burned bridges with this young woman. Have you sought any counseling for yourself, both to help you cope with this dysfunctional relationship and how you may have contributed to it? What, if anything, you can do to salvage it?

 

[Mass_Shyster]

How old is the boyfriend? Is he young enough to be protected by Indiana's Romeo and Juliet law, or was this statutory rape?

 

[Ohiogal]

How old is the boyfriend? Is he young enough to be protected by Indiana's Romeo and Juliet law, or was this statutory rape?

17 years old. He has another thread in which he wanted to know why the doctor wouldn't let him force her to get an abortion.

 

[c0rd]

I don’t understand why the issue about her hair is such a big deal. A lot of parents enforce short haircuts on their sons. She doesn’t even argue about her hair, anymore. About two years ago, she stopped arguing about everything as much as she used to.

CTU, what have I done so wrong that you’re saying she should be somewhere else? I’m honestly trying to understand. I just can’t fathom how seven children love me and the last one hates me and thinks I’m Satan. I’m not perfect but I’m not THAT bad.

LdiJ, I am trying to parent her. It’s not working. Mom left her. Dad left her. I’m not leaving her like everyone else did, especially not to be a ward of the state. That’s crazy.

Maybe a private boarding school is a good idea. It would keep her safe and if she wants that badly to be away from me, it might be better for her.

Ohio, I am trying very, very hard to comprehend what you’re saying and I want this to work out more than I can explain. She’s precious to me. What am I saying that is making me the issue? I want to understand and I want to help her.

She’s never even met her father’s parents. No one even knows if they’re alive. No one else wants her except according to her for her boyfriend’s parents. That’s not an option.

Stealth, she just told me about being bored at school yesterday so no, I haven’t been able to. I’ve talked to the school about truancy and we’ve had meetings about it.

I am in counseling. I’ve been on anti-anxiety medication and in therapy since she was 12 and she started to disappear for 24 hours at a time.

She’s not here this morning. There was a note taped on my door. “Mein Fuhrer, I hope you find a good PI because I’m not coming back this time.” I don’t even know how she found out about that.

Her sister got a note, too. It’s a long one, talking about how the only way she survives living with me is by spending time with Carlisle and Esme. Sister says they’re code names for boyfriend’s parents. The note says that if I found her safe house that her life would be unbearable and so she can’t come back here. “That tyrannical monster that you call “Dad” might follow me home.”

She’s 14. She can’t just leave.

 

[Just Blue]

I don’t understand why the issue about her hair is such a big deal. A lot of parents enforce short haircuts on their sons. She doesn’t even argue about her hair, anymore. About two years ago, she stopped arguing about everything as much as she used to.

CTU, what have I done so wrong that you’re saying she should be somewhere else? I’m honestly trying to understand. I just can’t fathom how seven children love me and the last one hates me and thinks I’m Satan. I’m not perfect but I’m not THAT bad.

LdiJ, I am trying to parent her. It’s not working. Mom left her. Dad left her. I’m not leaving her like everyone else did, especially not to be a ward of the state. That’s crazy.

Maybe a private boarding school is a good idea. It would keep her safe and if she wants that badly to be away from me, it might be better for her.

Ohio, I am trying very, very hard to comprehend what you’re saying and I want this to work out more than I can explain. She’s precious to me. What am I saying that is making me the issue? I want to understand and I want to help her.

She’s never even met her father’s parents. No one even knows if they’re alive. No one else wants her except according to her for her boyfriend’s parents. That’s not an option.

Stealth, she just told me about being bored at school yesterday so no, I haven’t been able to. I’ve talked to the school about truancy and we’ve had meetings about it.

I am in counseling. I’ve been on anti-anxiety medication and in therapy since she was 12 and she started to disappear for 24 hours at a time.

She’s not here this morning. There was a note taped on my door. “Mein Fuhrer, I hope you find a good PI because I’m not coming back this time.” I don’t even know how she found out about that.

Her sister got a note, too. It’s a long one, talking about how the only way she survives living with me is by spending time with Carlisle and Esme. Sister says they’re code names for boyfriend’s parents. The note says that if I found her safe house that her life would be unbearable and so she can’t come back here. “That tyrannical monster that you call “Dad” might follow me home.”

She’s 14. She can’t just leave.

Sir,

The kind of help you need can not be found on the internet.

 

[Ohiogal]

I don’t understand why the issue about her hair is such a big deal. A lot of parents enforce short haircuts on their sons. She doesn’t even argue about her hair, anymore. About two years ago, she stopped arguing about everything as much as she used to.

CTU, what have I done so wrong that you’re saying she should be somewhere else? I’m honestly trying to understand. I just can’t fathom how seven children love me and the last one hates me and thinks I’m Satan. I’m not perfect but I’m not THAT bad.

LdiJ, I am trying to parent her. It’s not working. Mom left her. Dad left her. I’m not leaving her like everyone else did, especially not to be a ward of the state. That’s crazy.

Maybe a private boarding school is a good idea. It would keep her safe and if she wants that badly to be away from me, it might be better for her.

Ohio, I am trying very, very hard to comprehend what you’re saying and I want this to work out more than I can explain. She’s precious to me. What am I saying that is making me the issue? I want to understand and I want to help her.

She’s never even met her father’s parents. No one even knows if they’re alive. No one else wants her except according to her for her boyfriend’s parents. That’s not an option.

Stealth, she just told me about being bored at school yesterday so no, I haven’t been able to. I’ve talked to the school about truancy and we’ve had meetings about it.

I am in counseling. I’ve been on anti-anxiety medication and in therapy since she was 12 and she started to disappear for 24 hours at a time.

She’s not here this morning. There was a note taped on my door. “Mein Fuhrer, I hope you find a good PI because I’m not coming back this time.” I don’t even know how she found out about that.

Her sister got a note, too. It’s a long one, talking about how the only way she survives living with me is by spending time with Carlisle and Esme. Sister says they’re code names for boyfriend’s parents. The note says that if I found her safe house that her life would be unbearable and so she can’t come back here. “That tyrannical monster that you call “Dad” might follow me home.”

She’s 14. She can’t just leave.

You aren't comprehending. I told you to knock off the comparisons to her sister ... and yet you can't help yourself. If you can't do that here, you sure as heck aren't doing it at home. Why is the hair such a big deal? Because you blew it completely out of proportion. YOU blew it up. YOU made it a thing. Many parents enforce short hair for their sons? SHE IS NOT YOUR SON. She isn't even your daughter. You didn't adopt her. We have tried again and again to explain. You refuse to acknowledge that you are part of the problem. Precious to you? Good grief. You make her sound like a possession. This child has been telling you what her issues are. YOu are tyrannical. You dictate her hair length, clothing, music and television programs and everything else -- including with whom she can interact. how do you not comprehend that is an issue? Seriously. She can't just leave? She did.

 

[Ohiogal]

Oh and Carlisle and Esme? LMAO. Fabulous.

 

[Just Blue]

You aren't comprehending. I told you to knock off the comparisons to her sister ... and yet you can't help yourself. If you can't do that here, you sure as heck aren't doing it at home. Why is the hair such a big deal? Because you blew it completely out of proportion. YOU blew it up. YOU made it a thing. Many parents enforce short hair for their sons? SHE IS NOT YOUR SON. She isn't even your daughter. You didn't adopt her. We have tried again and again to explain. You refuse to acknowledge that you are part of the problem. Precious to you? Good grief. You make her sound like a possession. This child has been telling you what her issues are. YOu are tyrannical. You dictate her hair length, clothing, music and television programs and everything else -- including with whom she can interact. how do you not comprehend that is an issue? Seriously. She can't just leave? She did.

^^love^^

I would have worded it different...But yes! I love the ^ post.

 

[Ohiogal]

^^love^^

I would have worded it different...But yes! I love the ^ post.

"Carlisle and Esme" tells me quite a bit about this child. I know more about her than I bet this man does. He probably thinks she is goth or emo. What with the black lipstick and nail polish.

 

[Just Blue]

"Carlisle and Esme" tells me quite a bit about this child. I know more about her than I bet this man does. He probably thinks she is goth or emo. What with the black lipstick and nail polish.

I would be on the OP's side of "what the fick are you talking about"...

I was actually going to ask lil'blu about that...

 

[Ohiogal]

I would be on the OP's side of "what the fick are you talking about"...

I was actually going to ask lil'blu about that...

His daughter's view of life and love. The boyfriend's parents' code names.

 

[stealth2]

Girls, in general, tie a lot of their selves/identity in their overall appearance. Not as much as boys. By continuing your "requirement" of short hair for her, you have effectively told her that YOU get to choose her identity for her. Same with the clothes. So she wants to wear all black? What's wrong with it? Lots of women wear black, and I'm not talking about those who identify Goth (nothing wrong with that, tbh), but professional women. It was always my belief that stuff like hair, clothes, music are often ways that kids use to (a) express themselves and (b) try to shock their parents. LOL My kids learned early on that there was little which would shock me or make me flip my lid. Which left them quite comfortable in bringing up any topic with me.

I really do think you need to discuss with her psych what you can do to regain her trust.

p.s. I'm going to bet she has access to your computer and found your references to a PI.