CPS question in Ky

[Dustified]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

Hello, this is the first and hopefully the last time that I will ever need to worry about CPS. I was at church today and my (now former) minister's wife felt that it was her duty to notify CPS about a bruise on my toddler's upper arm. She told me that it seemed like someone grabbed her and squeezed her arm. There is a small bruise, but she did hit her bed yesterday with that arm and when I did bring that up, I was told that her father was abusive and that he needed help. I was also told that my child is hyperactive and needs to go to occupational therapy. I told her that I needed to process this since it was a very small bruise that I had to be shown. Later in the day, she and her husband arrived at my house and my husband invited them inside. They told him that they had already called CPS and told him that he needed to self-report this incident so that our lives would be better. They also said that if we did not do this, they would lose their jobs and our lives would be worse. My husband, having anxiety towards people in charge, did so and went so far as to say that he squeezed her. The evidence is simply not there. Later in the evening, nothing was sitting right with me about this so I did call the sheriff in my county to ask advice. He said to let CPS do their thing, but a bruise was nothing. I am very upset and very angry at this and would love more advice. From what I have been reading in the laws and such, this is a nothing event and should not have been reported and telling us that it must be done makes us seem as we are bad parents. I will say that I was not home at the time of the incident as I had to run an errand, but was told immediately what happened. What would be my options here?

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

Hello, this is the first and hopefully the last time that I will ever need to worry about CPS. I was at church today and my (now former) minister's wife felt that it was her duty to notify CPS about a bruise on my toddler's upper arm. She told me that it seemed like someone grabbed her and squeezed her arm. There is a small bruise, but she did hit her bed yesterday with that arm and when I did bring that up, I was told that her father was abusive and that he needed help. I was also told that my child is hyperactive and needs to go to occupational therapy. I told her that I needed to process this since it was a very small bruise that I had to be shown. Later in the day, she and her husband arrived at my house and my husband invited them inside. They told him that they had already called CPS and told him that he needed to self-report this incident so that our lives would be better. They also said that if we did not do this, they would lose their jobs and our lives would be worse. My husband, having anxiety towards people in charge, did so and went so far as to say that he squeezed her. The evidence is simply not there. Later in the evening, nothing was sitting right with me about this so I did call the sheriff in my county to ask advice. He said to let CPS do their thing, but a bruise was nothing. I am very upset and very angry at this and would love more advice. From what I have been reading in the laws and such, this is a nothing event and should not have been reported and telling us that it must be done makes us seem as we are bad parents. I will say that I was not home at the time of the incident as I had to run an errand, but was told immediately what happened. What would be my options here?

Your best option appears to be to ignore the minister and his wife and tell your husband not to invite them into your home ever again.

You and your husband should not be intimidated into allowing CPS into your home unless there is a warrant.

Unless you, too, suspect your husband of abusing your child, I do not see any benefit to you of willingly involving CPS in your life.

As a disclaimer: I have a general bias against CPS because I believe they frequently do more harm than good.

 

[Ohiogal]

Change churches. IMMEDIATELY. This minister and his wife had no right to state this. You should NOT have self reported if what you are stating about the bruise is true. CPS will use your words against IF they decide to proceed. The minister's wife can NOT state or DIAGNOSE that your child needs occupational therapy. I am over 40 years old. I have a bruise on my arm because my son poked me when I was tickling him. He has no bruises. I have a bruise though the size of two quarters. It is just me. Please get away from these people who have influenced your husband to "self-report".

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kentucky

Hello, this is the first and hopefully the last time that I will ever need to worry about CPS. I was at church today and my (now former) minister's wife felt that it was her duty to notify CPS about a bruise on my toddler's upper arm. She told me that it seemed like someone grabbed her and squeezed her arm. There is a small bruise, but she did hit her bed yesterday with that arm and when I did bring that up, I was told that her father was abusive and that he needed help. I was also told that my child is hyperactive and needs to go to occupational therapy. I told her that I needed to process this since it was a very small bruise that I had to be shown. Later in the day, she and her husband arrived at my house and my husband invited them inside. They told him that they had already called CPS and told him that he needed to self-report this incident so that our lives would be better. They also said that if we did not do this, they would lose their jobs and our lives would be worse. My husband, having anxiety towards people in charge, did so and went so far as to say that he squeezed her. The evidence is simply not there. Later in the evening, nothing was sitting right with me about this so I did call the sheriff in my county to ask advice. He said to let CPS do their thing, but a bruise was nothing. I am very upset and very angry at this and would love more advice. From what I have been reading in the laws and such, this is a nothing event and should not have been reported and telling us that it must be done makes us seem as we are bad parents. I will say that I was not home at the time of the incident as I had to run an errand, but was told immediately what happened. What would be my options here?

Apparently, in your state, clergy may be considered as mandated reporters, thus they reported something they had seen.

What really troubles me is that your husband TOLD CPS that he "squeezed" her arm.

 

[quincy]

Apparently, in your state, clergy may be considered as mandated reporters, thus they reported something they had seen.

What really troubles me is that your husband TOLD CPS that he "squeezed" her arm.

It sounds to me as if the father was intimidated into self-reporting and that his "confession" is, therefore, a questionable one.

Toddlers are by nature bruise-makers.

If a bruise appeared in the middle of the back I would be concerned but a bruise on the arm, whether found to be caused by a tighter grip by a parent than necessary or from the toddler banging into a bed frame, is not something worth CPS involvement (in my biased opinion).

 

[Zigner]

It sounds to me as if the father was intimidated into self-reporting and that his "confession" is, therefore, a questionable one.

Toddlers are by nature bruise-makers.

If a bruise appeared in the middle of the back I would be concerned but a bruise on the arm, whether found to be caused by a tighter grip by a parent than necessary or from the toddler banging into a bed frame, is not something worth CPS involvement (in my biased opinion).

Fair enough.

Anecdote time:
When my child was young (about 2 years old), he spontaneously and quite suddenly) developed a large number of small, round bruises on his lower body and torso. I'm talking a LOT of them. They each looked like someone had grabbed him with their finger tips and squeezed or applied pressure as hard as they could. I was reported to CPS by his daycare provider and was required by CPS and the police to take him to the ER (which I would have done anyway.) While at the ER, there were several doctors who evaluated him and determined that there was no medical reason for the bruises. The police photographed the bruising and I'm sure they were ready to cuff me and take me away. After several hours at the ER, there was a shift change. One of the incoming doctors happened to glance at my son and said "You know what that looks like? It looks like idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP)" (that quote was actually paraphrased...it's been a long time.) Tests were run and it was determined that was exactly what it was. The police officer literally took the film out of the camera and handed it to me with apologies and best wishes for my son's recovery. My son turned out fine after the appropriate treatment. My son and I were both extremely lucky that the incoming doctor had seen this in the past.

 

[Ohiogal]

Fair enough.

Anecdote time:
When my child was young (about 2 years old), he spontaneously and quite suddenly) developed a large number of small, round bruises on his lower body and torso. I'm talking a LOT of them. They each looked like someone had grabbed him with their finger tips and squeezed or applied pressure as hard as they could. I was reported to CPS by his daycare provider and was required by CPS and the police to take him to the ER (which I would have done anyway.) While at the ER, there were several doctors who evaluated him and determined that there was no medical reason for the bruises. The police photographed the bruising and I'm sure they were ready to cuff me and take me away. After several hours at the ER, there was a shift change. One of the incoming doctors happened to glance at my son and said "You know what that looks like? It looks like idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP)" (that quote was actually paraphrased...it's been a long time.) Tests were run and it was determined that was exactly what it was. The police officer literally took the film out of the camera and handed it to me with apologies and best wishes for my son's recovery. My son turned out fine after the appropriate treatment. My son and I were both extremely lucky that the incoming doctor had seen this in the past.

I need to ask this based upon my case load. IT MATTERS and it SHOULD NOT. Are you, or do you appear to be, white? It does matter anymore. AND I HATE MAKING THAT A POINT. But it is.

 

[Zigner]

I need to ask this based upon my case load. IT MATTERS and it SHOULD NOT. Are you, or do you appear to be, white? It does matter anymore. AND I HATE MAKING THAT A POINT. But it is.

Considering very few of the staff members at the hospital or CPS were white, I think that the question is moot. Even more so in the Los Angeles area. In fact, and this is a stretch for my memory, I think only one of the two police officers appeared to be white.

 

[Ohiogal]

Considering very few of the staff members at the hospital or CPS were white, I think that the question is moot. Even more so in the Los Angeles area. In fact, and this is a stretch for my memory, I think only one of the two police officers appeared to be white.

And sadly, THAT matters. It was not meant to be a rude question but rather... a sign of the times.

 

[Zigner]

And sadly, THAT matters. It was not meant to be a rude question but rather... a sign of the times.

This incident was about 25 years ago...

 

[quincy]

Fair enough.

Anecdote time:
When my child was young (about 2 years old), he spontaneously and quite suddenly) developed a large number of small, round bruises on his lower body and torso. I'm talking a LOT of them. They each looked like someone had grabbed him with their finger tips and squeezed or applied pressure as hard as they could. I was reported to CPS by his daycare provider and was required by CPS and the police to take him to the ER (which I would have done anyway.) While at the ER, there were several doctors who evaluated him and determined that there was no medical reason for the bruises. The police photographed the bruising and I'm sure they were ready to cuff me and take me away. After several hours at the ER, there was a shift change. One of the incoming doctors happened to glance at my son and said "You know what that looks like? It looks like idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP)" (that quote was actually paraphrased...it's been a long time.) Tests were run and it was determined that was exactly what it was. The police officer literally took the film out of the camera and handed it to me with apologies and best wishes for my son's recovery. My son turned out fine after the appropriate treatment. My son and I were both extremely lucky that the incoming doctor had seen this in the past.

I understand that "brittle bone disease" is another condition that has resulted in children being removed from their homes by CPS in the past.

Experienced pediatricians who know well the medical conditions and diseases of children, and who know babies and toddlers and their penchant for participating in bruise-producing activities, can often be a parent's best friend and best defense against claims made to CPS.