Restraining order in a stepparent adoption

[Wolfgirl1300]

I'm in Massachusetts. I'm in the middle of adopting my 2 step kids (ages 8 and 7) who were horribly abused by their stepfather and mother. The mother has already lost her youngest through adoption because of the abuse. However, the kids mother has a horrible rage that she will literally go after people and has done so many times in the past, regardless if it puts the children in danger or not. She has also made numerous threats towards our family. Also per court and child protective services no child is supposed to be in her care. Yet here she is pregnant again and setting off my stepkids PTSD (which is from the abuse in her care) like to tomorrows. Is it possible to have a restaining order on her even though we are in the middle of the adoption? If not do the kids have to come to court with us to attend the adoption? How many court dates roughly are there in a contested stepparent adoption? I'm just trying to get as much information as I can to keep these 2 little ones safe. They have already been through so much and are completely terrified of their mother.

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm in Massachusetts. I'm in the middle of adopting my 2 step kids (ages 8 and 7) who were horribly abused by their stepfather and mother. The mother has already lost her youngest through adoption because of the abuse. However, the kids mother has a horrible rage that she will literally go after people and has done so many times in the past, regardless if it puts the children in danger or not. She has also made numerous threats towards our family. Also per court and child protective services no child is supposed to be in her care. Yet here she is pregnant again and setting off my stepkids PTSD (which is from the abuse in her care) like to tomorrows. Is it possible to have a restaining order on her even though we are in the middle of the adoption? If not do the kids have to come to court with us to attend the adoption? How many court dates roughly are there in a contested stepparent adoption? I'm just trying to get as much information as I can to keep these 2 little ones safe. They have already been through so much and are completely terrified of their mother.

Is mother consenting? Has she gone a year without seeing the children or supporting them (other than by court order).

 

[LdiJ]

Is mother consenting? Has she gone a year without seeing the children or supporting them (other than by court order).

It sounds a little like CPS might have had her parental rights terminated. She said that per court order and CPS mom is not allowed to have any children in her care.

 

[Wolfgirl1300]

Is mother consenting? Has she gone a year without seeing the children or supporting them (other than by court order).

The mother is not consenting however, she will have a 2-3 visits and then be gone for 4-8 months. No visits no contact and that's with attempting to get ahold of her. This has also been noted by the judge overuling the case, obviously the judge is not pleased. This has been going on almost 3 years now. CPS said that they couldn't terminate her rights because the children were returned to their father ( my husband) with sole legal and physical custody. This is the reason why CPS terminated her rights to her youngest child but not my husband's children. Their is no child support and during visits children are not given food and their has been zero help. My husband and I have been the only one supporting them. The children don't even call her mom they call her by her name.

 

[Ohiogal]

It sounds a little like CPS might have had her parental rights terminated. She said that per court order and CPS mom is not allowed to have any children in her care.

One parent's rights cannot be terminated without the other parent's rights being terminated. MOM not being allowed to have children in her care means nothing.

 

[Ohiogal]

The mother is not consenting however, she will have a 2-3 visits and then be gone for 4-8 months. No visits no contact and that's with attempting to get ahold of her. This has also been noted by the judge overuling the case, obviously the judge is not pleased. This has been going on almost 3 years now. CPS said that they couldn't terminate her rights because the children were returned to their father ( my husband) with sole legal and physical custody. This is the reason why CPS terminated her rights to her youngest child but not my husband's children. Their is no child support and during visits children are not given food and their has been zero help. My husband and I have been the only one supporting them. The children don't even call her mom they call her by her name.

YOu need an attorney to fight for it then. That is a MUST. A restraining order won't help you quite frankly. You need to get an attorney for the adoption and to fight for that. Why hasn't dad asked for child support? And what is the visitation?

 

[LdiJ]

One parent's rights cannot be terminated without the other parent's rights being terminated. MOM not being allowed to have children in her care means nothing.

The bolded seems illogical to me. I absolutely believe you but it still seems illogical in a CPS case, where the parent has been proven unfit. However, I do realize that the law is not always logical.

 

[Wolfgirl1300]

YOu need an attorney to fight for it then. That is a MUST. A restraining order won't help you quite frankly. You need to get an attorney for the adoption and to fight for that. Why hasn't dad asked for child support? And what is the visitation?

Our attorney advised against it considering that we were going for adoption. But before that it was a constant fight with the mother that honestly wasn't worth fighting. Currently visitation is once a week for 2 hours supervised by either me or my husband. As I've sated before this is completely inconsistent.

 

[Wolfgirl1300]

The bolded seems illogical to me. I absolutely believe you but it still seems illogical in a CPS case, where the parent has been proven unfit. However, I do realize that the law is not always logical.

I completely agree my husband and I were completely outraged when we were told this. Considering CPS knew about us going for adoption over the children. Especially since we were the ones who called CPS in the first place about the abuse. It was a 3 year fight just dealing with CPS and that was after we completed everything they asked within the first year.

 

[TheGeekess]

One parent's rights cannot be terminated without the other parent's rights being terminated. MOM not being allowed to have children in her care means nothing.

The bolded seems illogical to me. I absolutely believe you but it still seems illogical in a CPS case, where the parent has been proven unfit. However, I do realize that the law is not always logical.

(Totally different state, but) DHR got involved with The Young Adult's bio father's family when she was still a minor (he was physically abusing her half-sister and threatening TYA as well). His right were terminated by the state; mine were/are intact.