Husband wants me to pay expenses and I have no income

[cake_baker2130]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I live in California and I recently left my husband. We have been married for a little over a year and during that time I have never worked because I was diagnosed with cancer. I now believe my husband to be a sociopath, he has been emotionally abusive, controlling, and a liar. He accused me of faking the cancer ever though he has been to appointments, seen the scars and lived with me seeing me sick over the past year. That was the breaking point for me. He refused to leave so I had to leave with my children (from another marriage) and he told me that I couldn't use any of the money in our joint accounts and that he wanted me to pay half of our monthly expenses. He also wants to take me off the health insurance and car insurance and cancel mine and both kids' cell phones. The only money I receive is child support which I have always used for what the children need because my husband never paid for it. Can I be forced to use what little child support I receive to pay these expenses? And can he cancel any of the insurances?

 

[CTU]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Don't use the "preview" function before you post - it "eats" posts.

 

[cake_baker2130]

Don't use the "preview" function before you post - it "eats" posts.

I figured that out the hard way
It's been edited

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I live in California and I recently left my husband. We have been married for a little over a year and during that time I have never worked because I was diagnosed with cancer. I now believe my husband to be a sociopath, he has been emotionally abusive, controlling, and a liar. He accused me of faking the cancer ever though he has been to appointments, seen the scars and lived with me seeing me sick over the past year. That was the breaking point for me. He refused to leave so I had to leave with my children (from another marriage) and he told me that I couldn't use any of the money in our joint accounts and that he wanted me to pay half of our monthly expenses. He also wants to take me off the health insurance and car insurance and cancel mine and both kids' cell phones. The only money I receive is child support which I have always used for what the children need because my husband never paid for it. Can I be forced to use what little child support I receive to pay these expenses? And can he cancel any of the insurances?

Calling the STBX a "sociopath" is out of line unless he was DX with that disorder. Was he?

 

[CTU]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I live in California and I recently left my husband. We have been married for a little over a year and during that time I have never worked because I was diagnosed with cancer. I now believe my husband to be a sociopath, he has been emotionally abusive, controlling, and a liar. He accused me of faking the cancer ever though he has been to appointments, seen the scars and lived with me seeing me sick over the past year. That was the breaking point for me. He refused to leave so I had to leave with my children (from another marriage) and he told me that I couldn't use any of the money in our joint accounts and that he wanted me to pay half of our monthly expenses. He also wants to take me off the health insurance and car insurance and cancel mine and both kids' cell phones. The only money I receive is child support which I have always used for what the children need because my husband never paid for it. Can I be forced to use what little child support I receive to pay these expenses? And can he cancel any of the insurances?

Are you on disability? Can you work?

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I live in California and I recently left my husband. We have been married for a little over a year and during that time I have never worked because I was diagnosed with cancer. I now believe my husband to be a sociopath, he has been emotionally abusive, controlling, and a liar. He accused me of faking the cancer ever though he has been to appointments, seen the scars and lived with me seeing me sick over the past year. That was the breaking point for me. He refused to leave so I had to leave with my children (from another marriage) and he told me that I couldn't use any of the money in our joint accounts and that he wanted me to pay half of our monthly expenses. He also wants to take me off the health insurance and car insurance and cancel mine and both kids' cell phones. The only money I receive is child support which I have always used for what the children need because my husband never paid for it. Can I be forced to use what little child support I receive to pay these expenses? And can he cancel any of the insurances?

When you file for divorce, you will both be restrained from doing the things you mention.

 

[not2cleverRed]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I live in California and I recently left my husband. We have been married for a little over a year and during that time I have never worked because I was diagnosed with cancer. I now believe my husband to be an insensitive lout. He accused me of faking the cancer ever though he has been to appointments, seen the scars and lived with me seeing me sick over the past year. That was the breaking point for me. He refused to leave so I had to leave with my children (from another marriage) and he told me that I couldn't use any of the money in our joint accounts and that he wanted me to pay half of our monthly expenses. He also wants to take me off the health insurance and car insurance and cancel mine and both kids' cell phones. The only money I receive is child support which I have always used for what the children need because my husband never paid for it. Can I be forced to use what little child support I receive to pay these expenses? And can he cancel any of the insurances?

Fixed that for you.

My ex is not a sociopath, although in our first year of marriage he diagnosed my bilateral pulmonary embolism as "a cold". Yeah, I'm lucky to be alive. His attitude matched your husband's. He also tried to claim "wasteful dissipation of marital assets" in the divorce to the tune of $23,000 because that was my "share" of household expenses for a couple of years or something. I have no idea where he got the number. It went nowhere in court.

Get yourself an initial consult or 3 with an atty. Find some way to retain one. If you have not filed for divorce already, do so immediately. You are in CA. Filing for divorce in CA is supposed to automatically generate an order against insurance revenge.

If you truly believe that your husband was abusive, contact your local domestic violence organization. They may be able to assist you as well.

While you are living on child support, contact local agencies and see if you qualify for any sort of emergency relief.

 

[cake_baker2130]

Are you on disability? Can you work?

I am optimistic that I will be able to go back to work soon and I am looking at ways to work from home. The disability I receive is next to nothing.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I live in California and I recently left my husband. We have been married for a little over a year and during that time I have never worked because I was diagnosed with cancer. I now believe my husband to be a sociopath, he has been emotionally abusive, controlling, and a liar. He accused me of faking the cancer ever though he has been to appointments, seen the scars and lived with me seeing me sick over the past year. That was the breaking point for me. He refused to leave so I had to leave with my children (from another marriage) and he told me that I couldn't use any of the money in our joint accounts and that he wanted me to pay half of our monthly expenses. He also wants to take me off the health insurance and car insurance and cancel mine and both kids' cell phones. The only money I receive is child support which I have always used for what the children need because my husband never paid for it. Can I be forced to use what little child support I receive to pay these expenses? And can he cancel any of the insurances?

He cannot forbid you not to spend money that is in a joint account. However, he can move the money out of the joint account. He is not supposed to touch any insurance before a divorce is final but he may very well do it anyway. No, you do not have to pay half of the monthly expenses on the home you had to leave. No, you won't be forced to use your children's child support for anything other than their support. Yes, he can cancel your cell phones. Just go get new service.

Once a divorce is filed you will both be prohibited from spending any marital assets on anything other than normal and necessary expenses.

However, you need to realize that you married a bully. Therefore he is going to continue to be a bully and will probably break every possible rule in the book in order to be a bully and make your life miserable. Accept that and move on with your life.

If you are able to work, its time to find a job. If you are unable to work, then you need to file apply for disability and any other government programs that you might be eligible for. Good luck to you.

 

[cake_baker2130]

When you file for divorce, you will both be restrained from doing the things you mention.

I had been hoping to just file a summary dissolution and avoid an ugly divorce, but I have to wait for him to sign the papers and I fear what he could do before then and there was nothing in that paperwork about that stated he couldn't do those things. Is it different with a summary dissolution?

 

[Zigner]

I had been hoping to just file a summary dissolution and avoid an ugly divorce, but I have to wait for him to sign the papers and I fear what he could do before then and there was nothing in that paperwork about that stated he couldn't do those things. Is it different with a summary dissolution?

I'm not sure how you can even consider a summary dissolution from a man with the attributes you describe.

 

[LdiJ]

I had been hoping to just file a summary dissolution and avoid an ugly divorce, but I have to wait for him to sign the papers and I fear what he could do before then and there was nothing in that paperwork about that stated he couldn't do those things. Is it different with a summary dissolution?

He is already making it ugly. You share no children or assets therefore its not going to get any uglier than threats and bullying.

 

[Zigner]

A summary dissolution is appropriate for two people who can work together amicably to resolve the matter. You cannot.

ETA: Please don't take that the wrong way. If he is as you describe him, then there's no way you can hope to work through this amicably.