Help with coming divorce and custody?

[Abelltgt5133]

Ex & I have been separated for 3 yrs. She informed me that she was going to file divorce papers soon. We currently share custody of our 2 children (ages 10 and 12) & I have them any days Im off work & they stay with her the others. The kids also can stay more days with me (or her) if they ask to. We also make decisions for our girls together. When applying for divorce, the question of custody is asked. How should it be listed for us to maintain the current relationship we have between us & our children? Also, at what age can our children decide where they want to primarily live? We live in NC

 

[LdiJ]

Ex & I have been separated for 3 yrs. She informed me that she was going to file divorce papers soon. We currently share custody of our 2 children (ages 10 and 12) & I have them any days Im off work & they stay with her the others. The kids also can stay more days with me (or her) if they ask to. We also make decisions for our girls together. When applying for divorce, the question of custody is asked. How should it be listed for us to maintain the current relationship we have between us & our children? Also, at what age can our children decide where they want to primarily live? We live in NC

You can leave things open the way that they are now, but generally that only results in problems down the road, because something open is not really enforceable. Some separated/divorced parents are able to avoid problems, but most are not.

It would really be better if you had a set schedule, and you should really accept some of the hard work days and not just only the fun non-working days. You should both get equal quality days, and at least share some the working days.

Children get to chose where they live at age 18. Sometimes a judge might give a teenager's wishes some weight, but the judge will still make the decision based on the child's best interest.

 

[Abelltgt5133]

I work in retail so a set schedule doesn't always work. I also have them on my days off because when I am working I'm gone until after 8pm. My ex has them on most weekends as my days off usually fall on weekdays and she has weekends off. She gets 5 days a week, I think I share enough. Lol. Also, at 18 they aren't children and can live on their own so I think that number is a little high.

You can leave things open the way that they are now, but generally that only results in problems down the road, because something open is not really enforceable. Some separated/divorced parents are able to avoid problems, but most are not.

It would really be better if you had a set schedule, and you should really accept some of the hard work days and not just only the fun non-working days. You should both get equal quality days, and at least share some the working days.

Children get to chose where they live at age 18. Sometimes a judge might give a teenager's wishes some weight, but the judge will still make the decision based on the child's best interest.

 

[Zigner]

I work in retail so a set schedule doesn't always work. I also have them on my days off because when I am working I'm gone until after 8pm. My ex has them on most weekends as my days off usually fall on weekdays and she has weekends off. She gets 5 days a week, I think I share enough. Lol. Also, at 18 they aren't children and can live on their own so I think that number is a little high.

You don't set a visitation scheduled for an 18 year old, unless there are extenuating circumstances.

ETA: Of course, you were merely trying to make a feeble attempt to to bash the senior member who correctly advised you that children get to "choose" at 18.

 

[LdiJ]

You don't set a visitation scheduled for an 18 year old, unless there are extenuating circumstances.

ETA: Of course, you were merely trying to make a feeble attempt to to bash the senior member who correctly advised you that children get to "choose" at 18.

I think he was referring to my statement that children get to choose where they live when they are 18. He seems to believe that there is some other age when children get to choose, despite what I explained to him.

 

[Zigner]

I think he was referring to my statement that children get to choose where they live when they are 18. He seems to believe that there is some other age when children get to choose, despite what I explained to him.

I think I snuck my edit in while you were replying

 

[LdiJ]

I work in retail so a set schedule doesn't always work. I also have them on my days off because when I am working I'm gone until after 8pm. My ex has them on most weekends as my days off usually fall on weekdays and she has weekends off. She gets 5 days a week, I think I share enough. Lol. Also, at 18 they aren't children and can live on their own so I think that number is a little high.

The number is NOT high. No state allows anyone under the age of 18 to choose where they will live. They only sometimes give older children (teenagers) the option of expressing an opinion. There was one state (Georgia) that used to allow children to choose at age 14 (the only state to do so) but they changed the law a few years back. The children can still express an opinion at 14, but they do not get to choose.

 

[latigo]

. . . . . There was one state (Georgia) that used to allow children to choose at age 14 (the only state to do so) but they changed the law a few years back. (?) . . .

Not so, Princess of Presumptuousness!

Georgia has never had a law allowing children at age 14 the unqualified right to choose which parent shall have custody. Nor at any other age.

You've been masquerading as a lawyer in here for so long your beginning to believe your uneducated guesswork.

 

[LdiJ]

Not so, Princess of Presumptuousness!

Georgia has never had a law allowing children at age 14 the unqualified right to choose which parent shall have custody. Nor at any other age.

You've been masquerading as a lawyer in here for so long your beginning to believe your uneducated guesswork.

And once again, you have demonstrated your utter lack of knowledge regarding family law, in ANY state.