Husband left. No lease

[Just Blue]

My husband moved out and began using his income to support only him, leaving me with all expenses on the current residence. He rented a separate apartment and contributed nothing to the last month that he lived here. I asked if he planned to pay anything at the original residence and he refused, so I had a new lease made in my name only.

If that isn't abandonment, please tell me what it is. Do I have to let him take whatever he wants because he was previously a tenant?

It sounds like the one who leaves has all rights, and the one left has none.

It's not abandonment it's separation.

 

[not2cleverRed]

My husband moved out and began using his income to support only him, leaving me with all expenses on the current residence. He rented a separate apartment and contributed nothing to the last month that he lived here. I asked if he planned to pay anything at the original residence and he refused, so I had a new lease made in my name only.

If that isn't abandonment, please tell me what it is. Do I have to let him take whatever he wants because he was previously a tenant?

It sounds like the one who leaves has all rights, and the one left has none.

*Sigh.*

I understand your anger, bitterness, etc.

You are on a legal site. *Legally* you have not yet been abandoned. You still haven't revealed what state this is, so no one can give you specifics. I know that *legally* in my state (NY), for the purposes of divorce, you need a year before you have grounds of abandonment.

What OG is saying, without sugar coating, is that *legally*, until one of you files for divorce, and some form of court orders are established, you are still seen in the eyes of the law as *married*, and he has rights to the marital home.

Reading between the lines, the *advice* is, if hubby wants to play bachelor but hasn't filed for divorce, then you go and file for divorce.

I would advise you to go with "no fault", as "fault" has to be proven if contested, and gets more expensive. Much more expensive. That is just my personal observation, having been through a contested divorce before NY allowed "no fault". (And we'd lived apart for years, the other party had established residency in another state, so abandonment could have been used as a legal reason, but the other side wouldn't agree, so it went to trial.)

I would advise you to look hard at what you've got and decide what you can live without and what you can part with. Remember: everything you purchased together is a reminder of him. Part of divorcing is letting go of that life together.

If your husband wants *everything*, then yes, he's being unreasonable. Until you have a court order excluding him from the marital home, I suggest you spend some time documenting/cataloging items. 1) In dividing assets, this will help to determine the $ amount of what is being divided. You may well be required to enumerate these things anyhow. 2) If things walk with him that shouldn't - the dishes you inherited from your grandmother, for example, having documentation that they exist (and a reason why they shouldn't be considered marital property) will help in trying to get them back. Or a $ worth of loss, if he no longer has them in his possession.

 

[Suzywriter]

Thank you, Not2Cleaverred

For at least explaining.
I am in Maine.
The husband stopped contributing to the residence, which is why I asked the question.
The husband informed me that he would be entering to take the living room and bedroom furniture, Tvs, washer, dryer, freezer, refrigerator, his clothing (fine) and would also be keeping the car that I bought and paid for before I knew him. That leaves me with having to pat rent and utilities plus refurnish. I have a communally owned car--so does he, but he wanted to his communally owned car and the car I had before I had him.
Let me rephrase: if he wants something that I also want, do I have to let him have it or can I refuse to let him take it. It sounds like legally, he can have whatever he wants, and I have no rights because I didn't move out.

 

[stealth2]

While he can technically take that stuff, it is marital property and will have to be included when y'all split assets. If he takes it, he will have to make up for your share via other means...

 

[not2cleverRed]

For at least explaining.
I am in Maine.
The husband stopped contributing to the residence, which is why I asked the question.
The husband informed me that he would be entering to take the living room and bedroom furniture, Tvs, washer, dryer, freezer, refrigerator, his clothing (fine) and would also be keeping the car that I bought and paid for before I knew him. That leaves me with having to pat rent and utilities plus refurnish. I have a communally owned car--so does he, but he wanted to his communally owned car and the car I had before I had him.
Let me rephrase: if he wants something that I also want, do I have to let him have it or can I refuse to let him take it. It sounds like legally, he can have whatever he wants, and I have no rights because I didn't move out.

Start looking up the divorce forms. http://www.courts.maine.gov/fees_forms/forms/index.shtml
http://www.courts.maine.gov/fees_forms/forms/pdf_forms/fm/FM-081,%20DC%20Pro%20Se%20Div%20Inst%20(Rev.%2001-10).pdf

Step 1 includes info about "Family Matter Summons an Preliminary Injunction". You have to get this Form FM-038 directly from the court clerk - you can't use a copy.
You need that Preliminary Injunction. The Preliminary Injunction means neither of you are supposed to dispose of marital property unless you both agree, or permission of the court if you don't agree. It does not mean that he can't drive up with a moving van and clear out the place. It means that he can't drive up with a moving van, clear out the place, and then get rid of it all without agreement from you or permission from the court. You also can't conceal stuff.

You two currently don't agree on how to split the assets, so you need to file a Financial Statement.
Even if you retain a lawyer, you really have to fill out the Financial Statement on your own. It takes a long time. So start there this weekend.
Then if he shows up and clears out the place, you'll have a list of the big ticket items.

Anything you disagree on can end up being decided by the court. A reasonable tactic would be to make an effort at compromise. Make up a list of what you thing would be a fair way of dividing things. This will have no legal weight, but it will get you into the proper frame of mind. Give him a copy. He'll disagree. But then when he comes in while you're out and takes everything, leaving only a pile of clothes on the floor and your toothbrush, guess what? It makes him look like a cad to the court as well, and you can ask for 1/2 the monetary value of the marital property in your settlement...

 

[Suzywriter]

Thank you, Not2cleverRed!

This is extremely helpful. I appreciate that you told me what rights I have and how I can protect what I have worked for.

For the others, sneering at me and asking why I think I deserve anything or calling me ridiculous because my husband just drastically changed my financial status and created unnecessary hardship is not helpful. It's nasty and condescending.

Thanks again to those who helped.

 

[stealth2]

You should take photos of everything, as well as listing all physical assets, purchase date, price, etc. Also, understand that none of it will be valued at full (new) market value - it's all used (even if it was delivered yesterday). What you need to accept is that this is now a business transaction. Fair doesn't really come into it. Negotiation does. Neither of you will get to keep everything.

My ex wanted to take furniture from every room (not all of it, just certain pieces LOL). We finally agreed that he would take everything from several rooms, so we'd each have several full, matching rooms. He took the living room, den and our bedroom, I kept the dining room and the kids' bedroom. Gifts from our respective families stayed with that person, and so on.

The more you can agree on, the easier it will all be.

 

[whyAB-]

My husband moved out last month and said he is done being married. We rented a house 3 years ago. The lease has expired, so we have paid monthly without a lease.

When he refused to pay, I called the landlord, and he made me a new lease that says month-to-month, renews with each month's payment, in my name only.

My husband wants to come get tools, cookware, furniture etc, that we bought together during the marriage. I said he could not have anything until a judge divides our items, and he could not enter the house since it's now rented to me.

Is this correct? Can he still legally enter my house and take what he wants?

I would think not. He abandoned you by leaving the household, no longer paying any bills or a roof over your head with the children and got a new place. He is no longer on the lease, you can legally change the locks on all the outside doors. If you are that worried about losing your furniture like chairs, bedroom sets, ect ect get a restraining order stating he isnt allowed within like 100 feet or more from you and your home.

 

[quincy]

... you can legally change the locks on all the outside doors ...

No. The locks cannot be changed on a rental without the landlord's authorization (although, under the circumstances, the landlord will probably agree to change the locks).

 

[not2cleverRed]

I would think not. He abandoned you by leaving the household, no longer paying any bills or a roof over your head with the children and got a new place. He is no longer on the lease, you can legally change the locks on all the outside doors. If you are that worried about losing your furniture like chairs, bedroom sets, ect ect get a restraining order stating he isnt allowed within like 100 feet or more from you and your home.

And you be wrong.

And on what basis do you think OP can get a restraining order against her husband?!

 

[Just Blue]

I would think not. He abandoned you by leaving the household, no longer paying any bills or a roof over your head with the children and got a new place. He is no longer on the lease, you can legally change the locks on all the outside doors. If you are that worried about losing your furniture like chairs, bedroom sets, ect ect get a restraining order stating he isnt allowed within like 100 feet or more from you and your home.

Please post the ME State Statutes for the above ^ "advice". Or you could just zip your lip as you don't know how to deal with your California divorce never mind what is legal 3, 000 + miles away.