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Can't stop worrying

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leafy

Junior Member
Around 10 years ago my then 10 year-old son was apparently caught molesting a 4 year old boy at his friend's house. The parents were aware that it "happened" but did nothing to report it to police. We've both since moved (our family & the 4 year old kid's family) from Oklahoma to different states (we live in New Jersey now & the other kid lives in California) My son hasn't done anything like that since (I made sure to tell him it was VERY wrong) and he's going to College now & his grades top notch & he's doing very well. He has a very bright future ahead of him. However, I've recently discovered that the Family can STILL press charges against him after all these years & having OCD, I've been going crazy. I don't want my son's life to be ruined by something he apparently did when he was very young (there's no evidence that he did it besides the kid saying he did it & the parents believing him) My husband tells me that family has moved on (they don't even live in Oklahoma anymore) but the thought of my son being put through hell (criminal justice system) & going to Prison hurts me. Would the Oklahoma police still want go after my son after all these years?

Any help appreciated, thanks. I just need peace of mind
 


CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
Around 10 years ago my then 10 year-old son was apparently caught molesting a 4 year old boy at his friend's house. The parents were aware that it "happened" but did nothing to report it to police. We've both since moved (our family & the 4 year old kid's family) from Oklahoma to different states (we live in New Jersey now & the other kid lives in California) My son hasn't done anything like that since (I made sure to tell him it was VERY wrong) and he's going to College now & his grades top notch & he's doing very well. He has a very bright future ahead of him. However, I've recently discovered that the Family can STILL press charges against him after all these years & having OCD, I've been going crazy. I don't want my son's life to be ruined by something he apparently did when he was very young (there's no evidence that he did it besides the kid saying he did it & the parents believing him) My husband tells me that family has moved on (they don't even live in Oklahoma anymore) but the thought of my son being put through hell (criminal justice system) & going to Prison hurts me. Would the Oklahoma police still want go after my son after all these years?

Any help appreciated, thanks. I just need peace of mind
Has your son ever been in counseling over what happened?
 

Shadowbunny

Queen of the Not-Rights
Around 10 years ago my then 10 year-old son was apparently caught molesting a 4 year old boy at his friend's house. The parents were aware that it "happened" but did nothing to report it to police. We've both since moved (our family & the 4 year old kid's family) from Oklahoma to different states (we live in New Jersey now & the other kid lives in California) My son hasn't done anything like that since (I made sure to tell him it was VERY wrong) and he's going to College now & his grades top notch & he's doing very well. He has a very bright future ahead of him. However, I've recently discovered that the Family can STILL press charges against him after all these years & having OCD, I've been going crazy. I don't want my son's life to be ruined by something he apparently did when he was very young (there's no evidence that he did it besides the kid saying he did it & the parents believing him) My husband tells me that family has moved on (they don't even live in Oklahoma anymore) but the thought of my son being put through hell (criminal justice system) & going to Prison hurts me. Would the Oklahoma police still want go after my son after all these years?

Any help appreciated, thanks. I just need peace of mind

No one can tell you what the OK police will or will not do. The victim has until he's 20 to file a civil claim. But it appears that the family has decided not to pursue anything at this time. Since worrying is not at all productive, I suggest getting treatment for your OCD. And if the victim chooses to pursue either a criminal or civil action, the best thing you can do for your son is encourage him to get an attorney.

**************************************************

Criminal Statute of Limitations:

Twelve-Year Statute of Limitations for Felony Sexual Offenses; All Others Three Years : A 12-year statute of limitations exists for sexual offenses against minors that are classified as felonies after discovery of the offense. Discovery means the date that the crime against a minor was reported, or one year after the victim turns 18. For all other offenses, there is a three-year statute of limitations after the date of the offense.

Civil SOL:

Two Year Statute of Limitations for Childhood Sexual Abuse Claims : Child sexual abuse victims have two years after the last incident of abuse that caused the injuries to file their claims.

Delayed Tolling for Minors : Generally, persons under 18 years of age may bring their cause of action within two years after reaching the age of majority. Or, alternatively, if the abuser is in a state, federal or local correctional facility or jail, the victim has five years from their release to file their claim. The statute of limitations will begin to run at whichever date is later.

http://angelroar.com/foradults/c-child-abuse-resources-adults/childabusestatuteoflimitationsbystate
 

CTU

Meddlesome Priestess
Yes he has, as soon as the parents told us. We made sure to get him help so he could understand it's wrong & to never do it again.
Okay, that's very good.

I know how worried you are but if you read what ShadowBunny has posted, I think you'll feel much better about things.
 

HighwayMan

Super Secret Senior Member
My son hasn't done anything like that since...
You cannot say that with 100% certainty.

The chances of anything happening now about this are probably close to zero.

If you worry about this daily maybe it's your turn for counseling.
 

ajkroy

Member
Statistically, kids who molest others were molested themselves.

That should have been the point of counseling.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
Ditto to the others who states that the odds of a criminal investigation or prosecution are about nil. First off, there is little evidence except (perhaps) statements and an admission to counseling. Second, the perpetrator may be under the age of liability for a criminal offense that might require specific intent in OK. Third, the logistics of investigating a case where the victim and the suspect are each 1,500 or so miles away - in opposite directions - is daunting and would require specialized assistance from agencies on each coast, and would become even more so if it came to prosecution! And the cost of serving subpoenas and compelling testimony from experts and officers in two states - as well as the victim, suspect, and any witnesses among family members - would be huge!

Hopefully counseling has worked and that incident was the one and only act he engaged in.
 

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