Clearly it *hasn't* woken you up, because you are still with him.
I've told you before: get out. It will not get better. Your "love" will not win him over. You are not married, and with marriage comes complacency: he will only get worse and more controlling.
And yes, this is *legal* advice: don't marry him. Because if you marry him, your only exit is death or divorce. And divorce is cheaper, but still traumatic (and expensive). Better to have no legally binding ties.
And more free *legal* advice: get out of this relationship if you want to continue having unsupervised parenting time with your child. Because those recordings are a hop skip and a jump from proving that your child is being emotionally abused by being exposed to this situation.
Leave.