PA CYF made us agree to 30 day safety plan - my baby has to stay at parents - caseworker wont return calls!! plz help!

[hsdr2017]

Q4P.

What is Q4P?

 

[Eekamouse]

You aren't going to get anything you want from the courts throwing attitude around the way you are here. You are in no position to be demanding anything of the court or child services. They are trying to protect your child from you and your drunk of a boyfriend.

 

[Just Blue]

What is Q4P?

Spend 10 min's looking the term up. )

 

[hsdr2017]

I am NOT being rude or angry, etc., with the court OR CYF. My caseworker actually thanked me for not being mean or yelling at him and I told him I wouldn't ever do that because he didn't choose for this to happen and my goal is only to get my baby back. I may have came off wrong in my question, but I have been nothing but respectful. I left one voicemail the night I met with my caseworker asking if it was approved by my fiancé and he never returned my call. I called this Tuesday after I completed my drug and alcohol evaluation (the woman who did the evaluation told me I need to get a copy of the safety plan in order to get my baby back). I left a voicemail asking if he could please send me a copy of the safety plan via email and I gave him my email in the voicemail. He did not send a copy and he did not return my call. I tried to call again around 3pm that day to no avail. This is very frustrating because all I am trying to do is get my baby back home.

 

[hsdr2017]

Just Blue..
q4 in medical terms means every four, so q4h means every four hours and q4d means every four days.
What does the medical abbreviation q4 mean - Answers.com
www.answers.com/Q/What_does_the_medical_abbreviation_q4_mean

 

[stealth2]

Am I able to send you a private message to explain further? I do not want to post "incriminating" details.

Also, CYF is involved but it was a VOLUNTARY safety plan for 30 days. When the 30 days is up, the contract is over as far as my understanding. CYF did not take us to court or anything of the sort.

I'm sorry, but I prefer to keep conversations in the relevant threads.

Thing is, your safety plan may have been voluntary, but you did agree - you cannot rescind that now. Yes, you could have refused to deal with them until they went to court and had an order, but you didn't. So you no longer get to change your mind. They are now part of your life for a long time, even if the safety plan was only for 30 days - you and Dad are on their radar.

One of the problems you have to deal with is that you have apparently known for a while that he's an alcoholic, yet you felt that was okay (since you had a child by him). Since the police were apparently called to his being drunk (and disorderly?), yet you are intent on staying in contact with him AND have him move back in with you, expect CYF to take a dim view of your daughter being in that environment, given the history w/law enforcement. You really may have to choose between them.

 

[hsdr2017]

That makes absoloutley no sense. People on here seem very rude in the sense that they are treating me as if I am lesser than when in all reality I am very intelligent maybe not the typical person involved with CYF but that is why I am trying to find answers.

 

[stealth2]

Just Blue..
q4 in medical terms means every four, so q4h means every four hours and q4d means every four days.
What does the medical abbreviation q4 mean - Answers.com
www.answers.com/Q/What_does_the_medical_abbreviation_q4_mean

Q4P HERE means Quoted for Posterity - so it's not gone when it's deleted.

 

[hsdr2017]

I'm sorry, but I prefer to keep conversations in the relevant threads.

Thing is, your safety plan may have been voluntary, but you did agree - you cannot rescind that now. Yes, you could have refused to deal with them until they went to court and had an order, but you didn't. So you no longer get to change your mind. They are now part of your life for a long time, even if the safety plan was only for 30 days - you and Dad are on their radar.

One of the problems you have to deal with is that you have apparently known for a while that he's an alcoholic, yet you felt that was okay (since you had a child by him). Since the police were apparently called to his being drunk (and disorderly?), yet you are intent on staying in contact with him AND have him move back in with you, expect CYF to take a dim view of your daughter being in that environment, given the history w/law enforcement. You really may have to choose between them.

THAT is what I am terrified of. It is truly in our daughter's best interest to stay together. We have been getting along very well since he hasn't been drinking. I would hate to have to raise her alone or as separated parents when we do in fact love each other and both of us are willing to do everything and anything possible to raise her in a good home. I also truly love him and we have been together for 7 years, so it would hurt me so much to separate just because that's what the court wants us to do. It doesn't seem right to me for someone outside of our relationship to be able to tell me or him or both of us that we can't have the happy family we have always wanted. His alcohol has always been a problem. However, he would go through long periods of barely drinking everyday to drinking more and more and I never left our baby with him when I went to a store, etc., even for 10 minutes if he had drank more than 2 or so beer. If he showed ANY signs of the effects of alcohol, I took care of her and didn't bother him. He had a lot of growing up to do and I realize I may seem like a moron for not leaving, however, I do love him and I know if he does truly stop drinking as I believe he is going to for good this time, he is actually a really good person and a good Dad to our babygirl. She lights up when she sees him and I don't want to be forced to raise her as a single parent or with "split custody" or having him "visit" when he could very well be my husband and her dad that IS in the picture and IS getting him for his alcoholism.

Thank you for your time.

 

[Ohiogal]

Why do you feel her own parents can't provide her the love she deserves? Her daddy is an alcoholic and does need help to make sure he never drinks again when he gets out of jail. Her mommy is sober and she is my priority. I exclusively breastfed her the first 3 months and I've been a stay at home mom making sure she is happy and taken care of and learning and playing every single day since she was born - which by the way I also fought for considering the high risk OB tried to tell me the diagnosis of Vasa Previa and Velamentous Cord Insertion had suddenly vanished at 33 weeks. I demanded a C-section and I was told by my OB that she was lucky I didn't stop until they agreed to bring her out early at 38 weeks. She had the cord around her neck twice, true knot in her cord and the Velamentous Cord Insertion was confirmed. I would hardly consider myself a hero for doing right by my own daughter, my son was stillborn in 2016 at 33 weeks and I was NOT going to allow incompetent doctors to rule my care of my baby. She is alive today because I stood up for her. I love her more than anything in the world and I wouldn't put her in harms way - EVER. So maybe step off your high horse and either answer the question as to the 30 day safety plan or my other about the no contact order OR don't bother with your assumptions.

If I didn't care about getting her back, I would not be posting everywhere I can think of TO GET HER BACK HOME!

Also, the caseworker for CYF AGREED that the person who setup the safety plan had no idea what she was doing and he told me all I needed to get done was the drug and alcohol assessment. I completed the assessment and I was told by the woman who did it that I didn't have any problem and she would recommend nothing but CYF makes them do a "minimum" recommendation of one 3 hour class. I already scheduled that class and will complete it and all of the requests by CYF will have been completed satisfactory. There is absolutely no reason she can't come home.

Continuing to live with an alcoholic put her in harm's way so you are a liar. If you wanted to protect her and raise her and put her first, you would leave your alcoholic fiancé. That is fact.

 

[hsdr2017]

Q4P HERE means Quoted for Posterity - so it's not gone when it's deleted.

Thank you Stealth2. Are you all lawyers or something or just people who study or know the law? I feel like it is assumed I should know the answers to my questions. :/

 

[Ohiogal]

1. The police were never called when my baby was home in the past. This was the first time she was home.

2. He is an alcoholic. He needed to hit rock bottom. They were called only when alcohol was involved and my baby was NOT home at those times. This time he was drunk and I cannot go into more detail, however, our baby was never in any danger and I wasn't either.

I just want to know how to get my baby back home and I want to know how to get the no contact order between my bf and I dropped.

You want your baby? Leave the alcoholic. If you don't, you don't deserve your child. He is an addict. Just as dangerous as a meth addict or a heroin addict. And you have broken the law by accepting his calls. You don't seem to care. That is on you. It means you cannot be trusted. Jail calls are recorded. Be prepared for your entire conversation to be admitted.

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you Stealth2. Are you all lawyers or something or just people who study or know the law? I feel like it is assumed I should know the answers to my questions. :/

I am the only attorney who has responded to you. If your fiancé has continued to drink then he is an active alcoholic. Oh wait, he didn't drink in jail? Guess what, doesn't mean he is in recovery. You are clueless and need help. You are most likely co dependent and will just continue to make excuses for your alcoholic lover. Your daughter deserves better.

 

[hsdr2017]

Continuing to live with an alcoholic put her in harm's way so you are a liar. If you wanted to protect her and raise her and put her first, you would leave your alcoholic fiancé. That is fact.

How would living with an alcoholic put her in harm's way?

Also, I am not a liar, lol. That is very petty to say to someone you don't know from Adam.

I do protect her and I do put her first - as stated, I have taken her to my parents if I thought there was a possibility he was drunk.

Also, to say I would leave my "alcoholic fiancé" if I wanted to do all the above for her is bullsheisa plain and simple. He is her dad. I love my baby and I also love him. I have been trying to get him to agree to outpatient but he pays the bills and so he would not go. Jail is turning out to be a good thing in that he is not drinking and has told me he is not going to drink ever again. I am aware he will need outpatient or inpatient rehab and/or counseling when he gets out of jail because I don't believe he can stay sober on his own unfortunately. I do think he is going to do everything in his power but I don't know if he will succeed or not sadly.

Once again, please stop with the assumptions and the "if blah blah blah, then this blah blah"

You don't know me. If you had a higher level of intelligence, you would not assume as much as you do or blatantly resort to name calling. THAT is a fact.

 

[hsdr2017]

I am the only attorney who has responded to you. If your fiancé has continued to drink then he is an active alcoholic. Oh wait, he didn't drink in jail? Guess what, doesn't mean he is in recovery. You are clueless and need help. You are most likely co dependent and will just continue to make excuses for your alcoholic lover. Your daughter deserves better.

Well, I appreciate your insight. I do not feel he is going to drink when he gets out.

Here is a better question...

If he does stay sober when he gets out of jail, and if he does get into counseling and/or outpatient or inpatient if needed rehab, THEN will I be allowed to love him again and be together again? I want the best for our daughter, this is a harder situation than anyone seems to understand.