Parental Kidnapping?

[LTF1]

Hi, I am a resident of Colorado but have resided in Pennsylvania for the last few years. I had my child here with her father and she is now almost 2. Her father started becoming abusive toward me (the mother) and I put up with it until about a month ago. He was facing either attempted murder or felony strangulation. Unfortunately, the legal system here barely comes through when it comes to letting "the victim" know what is going on. I was hospitalized twice as a result of the last time he beat me up. I was diagnosed with a concussion twice, and he only spent 6 days in jail since he bailed out.

My daughter was born here in PA, and we are both on the birth certificate. There is no legal document stating anything custody-wise, but she has been primarily in my care. I have provided daycare while I'm at work, and we are currently staying in a shelter. Recently while I was asleep with my daughter, someone tried to break into our home. Instead of sitting around living in fear, I packed up everything, put it in a uhaul, and we went to a shelter about a week ago. Since then, I've decided it would be best if we leave the state. It's not really safe for us right now. Legal advocates are telling me that if I leave without his or the states permission, it is considered parental kidnapping. What are my rights? Seriously? I don't understand why anyone would make it difficult for my daughter to have a safe, stable, secure, consistent place to live. I'd think that with as many warnings as I've given her father, he wouldn't try to pull anything but... You never know.

 

[Just Blue]

Hi, I am a resident of Colorado but have resided in Pennsylvania for the last few years. I had my child here with her father and she is now almost 2. Her father started becoming abusive toward me (the mother) and I put up with it until about a month ago. He was facing either attempted murder or felony strangulation. Unfortunately, the legal system here barely comes through when it comes to letting "the victim" know what is going on. I was hospitalized twice as a result of the last time he beat me up. I was diagnosed with a concussion twice, and he only spent 6 days in jail since he bailed out.

My daughter was born here in PA, and we are both on the birth certificate. There is no legal document stating anything custody-wise, but she has been primarily in my care. I have provided daycare while I'm at work, and we are currently staying in a shelter. Recently while I was asleep with my daughter, someone tried to break into our home. Instead of sitting around living in fear, I packed up everything, put it in a uhaul, and we went to a shelter about a week ago. Since then, I've decided it would be best if we leave the state. It's not really safe for us right now. Legal advocates are telling me that if I leave without his or the states permission, it is considered parental kidnapping. What are my rights? Seriously? I don't understand why anyone would make it difficult for my daughter to have a safe, stable, secure, consistent place to live. I'd think that with as many warnings as I've given her father, he wouldn't try to pull anything but... You never know.

Who are the "legal advocates"? Is there a custody/support case going on? Is there a restraining order in place barring you from leaving the state?

 

[LTF1]

1. The legal advocates are with Women In Need. I had someone come to the court hearing with me, and an attorney through them to start a PFA.
2. The PFA would possibly bind my daughter to the state due to custody and visitation. I stopped with the PFA. We have a no contact order as a stipulation from the court. I am wanting to hold off on custody and a restraining order for now so I can just get to Colorado. We have a great support system there, and none here.
3. Is it going to be a huge deal if I don't file for custody at all for now? I don't really want anyone to know where we are. We have been under the radar for over a week now.

 

[Zigner]

I'd like to know who is telling you that also.

http://www.legis.state.pa.us/cfdocs/legis/LI/consCheck.cfm?txtType=HTM&ttl=18&div=0&chpt=29

Assuming you have no court orders in place, it doesn't appear that there is any restriction on you with regarding to relocating the child out of state. Either you haven't told us the full story, or you didn't tell them. Of course, they could just be misunderstanding your circumstances.

 

[stealth2]

Since he is apparently her legal father, he has rights. Including being notified if you are wanting to take the child out of state. He has the right to object. You would be wise to speak with someone at the shelter regarding legal advice. I think you need it.

 

[Zigner]

Since you have an attorney advising you on this, you should listen to the attorney.

 

[Zigner]

Since he is apparently her legal father, he has rights. Including being notified if you are wanting to take the child out of state.

There has been no legal action regarding custody. I'm not sure that this is correct. If it IS correct, then she would not only need to notify him, she'd need his permission.

 

[Just Blue]

1. The legal advocates are with Women In Need. I had someone come to the court hearing with me, and an attorney through them to start a PFA.
2. The PFA would possibly bind my daughter to the state due to custody and visitation. I stopped with the PFA. We have a no contact order as a stipulation from the court. I am wanting to hold off on custody and a restraining order for now so I can just get to Colorado. We have a great support system there, and none here.
3. Is it going to be a huge deal if I don't file for custody at all for now? I don't really want anyone to know where we are. We have been under the radar for over a week now.

I *think* the "legal advocate (s) are lying to you about leaving PA would be parental kidnapping because they want you here to testify against the ex. Either that or they are just stupid. Parental kidnapping is when there is a court order and you defy it and hide the child from the other parent. I STRONGLY SUGGEST you consult with an attorney not associated with their org. that will tell you what your legal options are without the advice being sullied by their own personal agenda.

 

[LTF1]

He's on the birth certificate. We have no legal custody agreement, but we do have a no contact order. I literally can't contact him. I don't care to speak with his parents. I'd rather just take off at this point.. I was told that either the state or my ex could demand that I bring her back for leaving without asking. I have been her primary caretaker for her entire life. He has been around but was only a father when he felt like it. I don't understand why it would be an issue for me to just leave? I wasn't on the lease and didn't want to stay in the same place I was being beat up anyway. My options were to either go into shelter and find a place locally, or move back to my support system. This seems like the most logical thing to do.. But I don't have time to wait for a court date or even give the chance that he might get some custody or visitation. At this point, no one knows where we are staying or what my plans are.

 

[stealth2]

There has been no legal action regarding custody. I'm not sure that this is correct. If it IS correct, then she would not only need to notify him, she'd need his permission.

Hence why she really needs to speak with a local lawyer. In PA. Not CO.

 

[LTF1]

I *think* the "legal advocate (s) are lying to you about leaving PA would be parental kidnapping because they want you here to testify against the ex. Either that or they are just stupid. Parental kidnapping is when there is a court order and you defy it and hide the child from the other parent. I STRONGLY SUGGEST you consult with an attorney not associated with their org. that will tell you what your legal options are without the advice being sullied by their own personal agenda.

I already did my part by providing photos, written statements, as well as verbal statements. He took a plea and I have no clue what it entails. He has yet to be sentenced, it will have been a month on the 23rd. We'll be on a plane Sunday. I kind of had the same thought - they're on their own personal agenda. They put me somewhere safe and offered to help with rent, rides to work, etc.. But its a bunch of bologna and they just like saying they have resources or know things. I talked with a victim advocate through the police department in Colorado and they said if we don't have a custody case I should be fine. I'm getting a bunch of different answers but no one wants to actually stand for what they're saying.

 

[Zigner]

YOU are free to move wherever you want. The reason that you might not be able to just relocate the child is because the child has two parents. The child is a resident of PA, so if you just ran off with the child, you may be required to return the child if dad takes steps to make that happen.

 

[Zigner]

Hence why she really needs to speak with a local lawyer. In PA. Not CO.

I agree - an attorney in PA. In fact, I don't even understand why the OP thinks she's not a resident of PA (but it's largely irrelevant to the matter at hand.)

 

[Zigner]

I already did my part by providing photos, written statements, as well as verbal statements. He took a plea and I have no clue what it entails. He has yet to be sentenced, it will have been a month on the 23rd. We'll be on a plane Sunday. I kind of had the same thought - they're on their own personal agenda. They put me somewhere safe and offered to help with rent, rides to work, etc.. But its a bunch of bologna and they just like saying they have resources or know things. I talked with a victim advocate through the police department in Colorado and they said if we don't have a custody case I should be fine. I'm getting a bunch of different answers but no one wants to actually stand for what they're saying.

Wait, you've already got plane tickets? Then why are you here? You already made up your mind.

 

[LTF1]

Hence why she really needs to speak with a local lawyer. In PA. Not CO.

I talked to one in PA, she was the one that was going to file the PFA. It would have trapped us here. I asked for 0 custody and 0 visitation for him because of the extent of what happened this last time. She told me I should really be careful.