Home inspection demand and marriage stipulation

[shadow_6633]

I am in TEXAS.
I do want to apologize in advance, as I am not used to posting on forums but I thought this is one place that could offer help.

I have a Child Support Order and currently because my child is young I visit twice a week and take him for the day on Sundays wherever I want. I recently got a house with my girlfriend and now the custodial parent is saying that because I moved in with my girlfriend that my son can't come visit until we are married. I am sure this isn't true because no where in our paperwork does it say that I even have to inform her of my dating life unless my significant other is a convict or a sex offender and she is not. The second issue is that she is demanding that she has the right to inspect my home and also that I have to comply with this long list of stipulations in order for him to come visit let alone stay the night. The list consists of about 20 things ranging from "Alarms must be provided, Specific clothes I have to buy, Specific shampoo, what food I must provide and many more things...does she have any legal right to demand any of this? None of this is anywhere in our paperwork. I do have my paperwork on hand and have read it many many times but sometimes I worry there is something I am not understanding to missed. My ex likes to think that things that are not in our paperwork specifically can also apply to our court order.

 

[Zigner]

She has every right to "demand" it - and you have every right to refuse. Legally, she can't force you to do any of those things without it being ordered by the court.

 

[LdiJ]

I am in TEXAS.
I do want to apologize in advance, as I am not used to posting on forums but I thought this is one place that could offer help.

I have a Child Support Order and currently because my child is young I visit twice a week and take him for the day on Sundays wherever I want. I recently got a house with my girlfriend and now the custodial parent is saying that because I moved in with my girlfriend that my son can't come visit until we are married. I am sure this isn't true because no where in our paperwork does it say that I even have to inform her of my dating life unless my significant other is a convict or a sex offender and she is not. The second issue is that she is demanding that she has the right to inspect my home and also that I have to comply with this long list of stipulations in order for him to come visit let alone stay the night. The list consists of about 20 things ranging from "Alarms must be provided, Specific clothes I have to buy, Specific shampoo, what food I must provide and many more things...does she have any legal right to demand any of this? None of this is anywhere in our paperwork. I do have my paperwork on hand and have read it many many times but sometimes I worry there is something I am not understanding to missed. My ex likes to think that things that are not in our paperwork specifically can also apply to our court order.

Mom is being extra protective of your mutual child because you are living in a house with someone who is a total stranger to Mom. Do not bring your girlfriend with you to exchanges, do not involve your girlfriend with mom and do the parenting of your child, yourself, do not involve your girlfriend in that either.

However, the kinds of things that mom is asking for are not really that unusual. You should have clothing for the child at your house. You should have the proper alarms, and you should feed your child similar foods to what she is fed at mom's house, and have similar toiletries for her. Similar foods and toiletries avoids itchy skin and tummy troubles.

 

[Just Blue]

I am in TEXAS.
I do want to apologize in advance, as I am not used to posting on forums but I thought this is one place that could offer help.

I have a Child Support Order and currently because my child is young I visit twice a week and take him for the day on Sundays wherever I want. I recently got a house with my girlfriend and now the custodial parent is saying that because I moved in with my girlfriend that my son can't come visit until we are married. I am sure this isn't true because no where in our paperwork does it say that I even have to inform her of my dating life unless my significant other is a convict or a sex offender and she is not. The second issue is that she is demanding that she has the right to inspect my home and also that I have to comply with this long list of stipulations in order for him to come visit let alone stay the night. The list consists of about 20 things ranging from "Alarms must be provided, Specific clothes I have to buy, Specific shampoo, what food I must provide and many more things...does she have any legal right to demand any of this? None of this is anywhere in our paperwork. I do have my paperwork on hand and have read it many many times but sometimes I worry there is something I am not understanding to missed. My ex likes to think that things that are not in our paperwork specifically can also apply to our court order.

Curious...Were you married to mom when she conceived the child?

 

[Zigner]

However, the kinds of things that mom is asking for are not really that unusual. You should have clothing for the child at your house. You should have the proper alarms, and you should feed your child similar foods to what she is fed at mom's house, and have similar toiletries for her. Similar foods and toiletries avoids itchy skin and tummy troubles.

Mom isn't asking for "clothing", mom is asking for "specific clothes". Alarms (smoke, CO2, etc) - ok. Food - mom has no right to dictate that. Toiletries - mom has no right to dictate that. Inspection of the home - mom has no right to require that.

Mom is out of line.

 

[HRZ]

Mom as a parent has a legal right to voice her opinion about safety and sanitary and convience and nourishment of a child ....but she has no legal right to demand you follow her suggestions as a condition of exercise of your visitation rights in the order .

I fail to see a " right" to inspect child's other parents home .

BTW life may be simpler if you keep your new GF out of this loop entirely !

 

[Just Blue]

Mom as a parent has a legal right to voice her opinion about safety and sanitary and convience and nourishment of a child ....but she has no legal right to demand you follow her suggestions as a condition of exercise of your visitation rights in the order .

I fail to see a " right" to inspect child's other parents home .

BTW life may be simpler if you keep your new GF out of this loop entirely !

OP lives with the GF HRZ...She is gonna have some involvement in this "loop".

 

[LdiJ]

Mom isn't asking for "clothing", mom is asking for "specific clothes". Alarms (smoke, CO2, etc) - ok. Food - mom has no right to dictate that. Toiletries - mom has no right to dictate that. Inspection of the home - mom has no right to require that.

Mom is out of line.

I absolutely disagree with you about the food and toiletries if we are talking about a baby or toddler. You obviously haven't experiences little ones with tummy troubles or rashes because they had a bad reaction to products that are new to them or foods they have not tried before. Don't you remember the doctor telling you to only introduce one new food at a time to a baby?

I also may disagree with you about the clothing. I took him to mean specific as in "pajamas, onesies, etc, rather than specific brands.

 

[Zigner]

You may disagree all you want, but your opinion runs contrary to the law.

 

[Just Blue]

I absolutely disagree with you about the food and toiletries if we are talking about a baby or toddler. You obviously haven't experiences little ones with tummy troubles or rashes because they had a bad reaction to products that are new to them or foods they have not tried before. Don't you remember the doctor telling you to only introduce one new food at a time to a baby?

I also may disagree with you about the clothing. I took him to mean specific as in "pajamas, onesies, etc, rather than specific brands.

I'm going to bet that Zigner has more experience with feeding infants than you do. You have one child...he has 3.

 

[LdiJ]

You may disagree all you want, but your opinion runs contrary to the law.

Of course my opinions are not "law". Who said they were? My post was clearly parenting advice not legal advice.

 

[Zigner]

Of course my opinions are not "law". Who said they were? My post was clearly parenting advice not legal advice.

No, it was no "clearly parenting advice". You gave it as an answer to a question regarding the law, and you simply said "you should...". The interpretation of that is that there is some sort of legal requirement, when there is not.

Thank you for clarifying that this was your opinion on parenting, and not a legal statement - that is helpful for the OP.

 

[Zigner]

I'm going to bet that Zigner has more experience with feeding infants than you do. You have one child...he has 3.

...and 2 grandkids lived in my home as infants.

 

[shadow_6633]

Hello All,

Thank you for all the replies. I know that anyone can demand anything but I am just wondering about legality. I wasn't sure if she is legally aloud (without court order) to come into my new home and inspect everything and also provide me with a very long list of requirements before he comes to stay the night or visits.

We were never married before he was born. He is over 3 now and the current situation is that we agreed by verbal agreement (a while ago) to hold off on him staying the night until further notice and in the meantime I would still visit in her home twice a week and that now on sundays I will pick him up for the day and do stuff with him to help him get used to being away from her and home but to also build a better relationship with him as to prepare him for staying the night in the distant future. I know well enough it would be bad to just take him and have him stay the night when he hasn't been away for very long.
What happened with her was I said I wanted to bring him over to visit my new house so he could see his cool new room and get used to being there and she has blown it up and said I had to be married and then said she has right to inspection and sent me a list of requirement due prior to her inspection.
As far as my girlfriend is concerned, she is not involved in any of this and never will be. The only time she is involved is when I get stressed and just talk to her and she has helped me look up legality of things in the past because like I said I am unsure if I am missing things or not. She doesn't come with me to pick him up, she doest talk to my sons mother, nothing but she will however be around him and meet him. Also my ex has at no point demanded to meet her or even mentioned it, only sent a list of stuff I must have before he can stay the night and honestly I think this list applies to him even visiting.

 

[Zigner]

Your ex has no legal basis to demand what you have told us.