Home inspection demand and marriage stipulation

[Just Blue]

Hello All,

Thank you for all the replies. I know that anyone can demand anything but I am just wondering about legality. I wasn't sure if she is legally aloud (without court order) to come into my new home and inspect everything and also provide me with a very long list of requirements before he comes to stay the night or visits.

We were never married before he was born. He is over 3 now and the current situation is that we agreed by verbal agreement (a while ago) to hold off on him staying the night until further notice and in the meantime I would still visit in her home twice a week and that now on sundays I will pick him up for the day and do stuff with him to help him get used to being away from her and home but to also build a better relationship with him as to prepare him for staying the night in the distant future. I know well enough it would be bad to just take him and have him stay the night when he hasn't been away for very long.
What happened with her was I said I wanted to bring him over to visit my new house so he could see his cool new room and get used to being there and she has blown it up and said I had to be married and then said she has right to inspection and sent me a list of requirement due prior to her inspection.
As far as my girlfriend is concerned, she is not involved in any of this and never will be. The only time she is involved is when I get stressed and just talk to her and she has helped me look up legality of things in the past because like I said I am unsure if I am missing things or not. She doesn't come with me to pick him up, she doest talk to my sons mother, nothing but she will however be around him and meet him. Also my ex has at no point demanded to meet her or even mentioned it, only sent a list of stuff I must have before he can stay the night and honestly I think this list applies to him even visiting.

Sorry...Child should have been staying overnights with your for well over 2 years now. Children are "away from home" for many reasons: Daycare, sleepovers at grandparents homes...etc...If they can do all that they can most certainly spend weekends or GASP! a week with NCP. If I were you I would file to modify the parenting plan.

 

[HRZ]

Verbal agreements have little legal strength ....and absent a court order which covers visitation , and your post is unclear this , then mom can invent rules all day long and change them twice daily ....what does your order say?

 

[LdiJ]

No, it was no "clearly parenting advice". You gave it as an answer to a question regarding the law, and you simply said "you should...". The interpretation of that is that there is some sort of legal requirement, when there is not.

Thank you for clarifying that this was your opinion on parenting, and not a legal statement - that is helpful for the OP.

There wasn't anything in my post that could be considered to be legal advice. Even the entire paragraph before the one you objected to was clearly not legal advice.

 

[shadow_6633]

My order actually says that "the parents may have possession of the child at any and all times mutually agreed to in advance and that in the absence of a mutual agreement, it is ordered that they shall have possession of the child as follows" and following that is the standard Possession and Access Order. We have previously mutually agreed, verbally, that the visitation and possession would be how we have it now. Should we ever not agree then we are to follow the Standard Possession Order and beyond that would be mediation and then court. Thankfully we can agree on most things until now.

 

[HRZ]

Read the literature as to TX "standard " Possession and Access Order ...it may provide far more visition with you under far less restrictive terms than Mom seems to be inventing ...it may be useful to " disagree" ?

 

[Just Blue]

My order actually says that "the parents may have possession of the child at any and all times mutually agreed to in advance and that in the absence of a mutual agreement, it is ordered that they shall have possession of the child as follows" and following that is the standard Possession and Access Order. We have previously mutually agreed, verbally, that the visitation and possession would be how we have it now. Should we ever not agree then we are to follow the Standard Possession Order and beyond that would be mediation and then court. Thankfully we can agree on most things until now.

Inform her, in writing Certified Mail/Return Receipt Requested ,that you no longer agree with visitation and will be following Standard Possession from now on.

 

[CTU]

You may disagree all you want, but your opinion runs contrary to the law.

This comes as a great shock to me.

 

[stealth2]

I also may disagree with you about the clothing. I took him to mean specific as in "pajamas, onesies, etc, rather than specific brands.

I also understood "specific" to mean brands. But, really? It's not that important if the kid sleeps in a tshirt or pjs one night a week. Food? If kiddo has allergies, yes, Dad should be aware and avoid. But Mom doesn't get to dictate "child shall not eat hot dogs with mac and cheese unless they are lovingly made by Dad's hand from organic ingredients only - please provide documentation." Seriously. Moms better learn mighty darned quick that kiddo will soon enough be exposed to different foods - be it relatives, friends, school, etc.

 

[HRZ]

OP...how far away is Mom...less than or more than 100 miles...note there are two versions of the TX std possession order ...pick the right one and make a copy of same and be sure Mom gets it ....await the nuclear reaction

 

[LdiJ]

I also understood "specific" to mean brands. But, really? It's not that important if the kid sleeps in a tshirt or pjs one night a week. Food? If kiddo has allergies, yes, Dad should be aware and avoid. But Mom doesn't get to dictate "child shall not eat hot dogs with mac and cheese unless they are lovingly made by Dad's hand from organic ingredients only - please provide documentation." Seriously. Moms better learn mighty darned quick that kiddo will soon enough be exposed to different foods - be it relatives, friends, school, etc.

I was got the impression that the child was an infant, so brand of formula, and foods that have already been introduced would be more important in those months. If the child is older then yes, only food allergies really matter. However for some infants brands of diapers, wipes, cremes etc really can matter.

 

[HRZ]

Brand of diapers or creams may be important to infant and it may be most considerate to get them right if it matters ...but that does not seem to be the scope of Moms dictates about how Dad is to behave or what he must allow to appease Mom.

It may come as a shock to Mom as to what is in the std TX possession language ...be sure she gets it in big print

 

[LdiJ]

Brand of diapers or creams may be important to infant and it may be most considerate to get them right if it matters ...but that does not seem to be the scope of Moms dictates about how Dad is to behave or what he must allow to appease Mom.

It may come as a shock to Mom as to what is in the std TX possession language ...be sure she gets it in big print

Yes but dad was only very vague and general about what mom was demanding, and hasn't been back to clarify anything. Therefore my interpretation of things is just as valid as anyone else's, until the OP clarifies elsewise.

 

[Just Blue]

Yes but dad was only very vague and general about what mom was demanding, and hasn't been back to clarify anything. Therefore my interpretation of things is just as valid as anyone else's, until the OP clarifies elsewise.

Actually...You are the only one who has made assumptions. No one else did. It's okay to admit you are wrong...Your sky won't fall in or anything.

 

[CJane]

Inform her, in writing Certified Mail/Return Receipt Requested ,that you no longer agree with visitation and will be following Standard Possession from now on.

This, exactly. The child is beyond old enough to be spending uninterrupted weekends (and weeks) with you, in your home, with your girlfriend. You have been visiting your child. It's high time you started parenting your child.

 

[LdiJ]

This, exactly. The child is beyond old enough to be spending uninterrupted weekends (and weeks) with you, in your home, with your girlfriend. You have been visiting your child. It's high time you started parenting your child.

I can't find anywhere in the thread where the OP said how old the child was. I have been assuming infant or young toddler.