Change of child custody order: prostitution and DUI's

[DustinB15]

Butte County, California

Hello,
I have had Custodial custody of my daughter since she was about 3 years old. I have her 5 days a week. My ex-came over to our house on my scheduled day while was at work and demanded to see our daughter. She caused such a problem with 3 other girls that the cops were called. My wife had placed her hand on our daughter's shoulder and told her to come inside and my ex is claiming she abused her. She took me to court for an emergency order a couple days later. The judge denied her claim and rescheduled the court date. I since found out that she's a prostitute at a local massage parlor. I found verified twitter pages, facebook, back page sites and a place called Rub maps (kinda like the yelp for those places) with reviews and details on this place dating back to 2013. She openly brags about her job and isn't trying to hide it. Also in our custody agreement, it stats that a licensed and insured driver is only able to drive our daughter. I looked up her public records on the court site and she had back to back DUI's in 2012 & 2013 that went into collections. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a license. Her mom also was convicted of a DUI last month and she drives her around too. She also just has an ID on her when we got something notarized. She also keeps dating guys with drug, weapons and child endangerment convictions. Her latest Boyfriend wears an ankle bracelet my daughter told me. My question is do I have a case against her, can i ask for discover to prove her employment and if she has a license? The only thing she presented at the emergency hearing was a sloppy 2-page document with a bunch of nonsense and no facts or documents to support it. She said I tried to jump out of the car during an argument with my kids which didn't happen, My wife is a 9 year air force vet and she claimed my wife tried to kill herself (which didn't happen) and I told my daughter (who's 11) that I didn't want her dragged into this stuff and told her if she didn't want to talk about things to not say anything. She told the court i was silencing her. She told me she had statements from people but she didn't submit anything. Any help would be appreciated - Dustin. B

 

[LdiJ]

Butte County, California

Hello,
I have had Custodial custody of my daughter since she was about 3 years old. I have her 5 days a week. My ex-came over to our house on my scheduled day while was at work and demanded to see our daughter. She caused such a problem with 3 other girls that the cops were called. My wife had placed her hand on our daughter's shoulder and told her to come inside and my ex is claiming she abused her. She took me to court for an emergency order a couple days later. The judge denied her claim and rescheduled the court date. I since found out that she's a prostitute at a local massage parlor. I found verified twitter pages, facebook, back page sites and a place called Rub maps (kinda like the yelp for those places) with reviews and details on this place dating back to 2013. She openly brags about her job and isn't trying to hide it. Also in our custody agreement, it stats that a licensed and insured driver is only able to drive our daughter. I looked up her public records on the court site and she had back to back DUI's in 2012 & 2013 that went into collections. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have a license. Her mom also was convicted of a DUI last month and she drives her around too. She also just has an ID on her when we got something notarized. She also keeps dating guys with drug, weapons and child endangerment convictions. Her latest Boyfriend wears an ankle bracelet my daughter told me. My question is do I have a case against her, can i ask for discover to prove her employment and if she has a license? The only thing she presented at the emergency hearing was a sloppy 2-page document with a bunch of nonsense and no facts or documents to support it. She said I tried to jump out of the car during an argument with my kids which didn't happen, My wife is a 9 year air force vet and she claimed my wife tried to kill herself (which didn't happen) and I told my daughter (who's 11) that I didn't want her dragged into this stuff and told her if she didn't want to talk about things to not say anything. She told the court i was silencing her. She told me she had statements from people but she didn't submit anything. Any help would be appreciated - Dustin. B

Have a case against her for what? Or, do you just mean that you will prevail against the case she is bringing against you?

She has to PROVE that there is a significant change of circumstances to warrant a custody change. Based on what you have said here, it does not appear that she can prove anything at all.

 

[HRZ]

Strictly a laymans view: Much of her lifestyle is not directly relevant to her ability and rights to parent her own child,....and you might be wise to use counsel to make her prove the points and or discredit her.

IF Mom is driving wo a license you probably can figure out how to have her stopped for a check just as son as she picks up child ?

 

[DustinB15]

Have a case against her for what? Or, do you just mean that you will prevail against the case she is bringing against you?

She has to PROVE that there is a significant change of circumstances to warrant a custody change. Based on what you have said here, it does not appear that she can prove anything at all.

So I'm having a property dispute with my father, she called my dad for a hour June 17th. On June 18th she arrived at my house with my stepmom, stepsisters , two guys and my dad. On my day I had my daughter she demanded she sees her and starts ganging up on my wife whith my 3 kids in the house. Cops called etc. My wife put her hand on my daughters shoulder and told her to come inside. She then starts accusing my wife of child abuse and puts an emergency order in. It got denied and we have to go back to mediation. My question is can she use statements from my step mom and step sisters as facts? Also does the licence and prostitution matter to the judge

 

[Just Blue]

So I'm having a property dispute with my father, she called my dad for a hour June 17th. On June 18th she arrived at my house with my stepmom, stepsisters , two guys and my dad. On my day I had my daughter she demanded she sees her and starts ganging up on my wife whith my 3 kids in the house. Cops called etc. My wife put her hand on my daughters shoulder and told her to come inside. She then starts accusing my wife of child abuse and puts an emergency order in. It got denied and we have to go back to mediation. My question is can she use statements from my step mom and step sisters as facts? Also does the licence and prostitution matter to the judge

License might matter the prostitution won't unless she is doing it in the home with the children there.

 

[LdiJ]

So I'm having a property dispute with my father, she called my dad for a hour June 17th. On June 18th she arrived at my house with my stepmom, stepsisters , two guys and my dad. On my day I had my daughter she demanded she sees her and starts ganging up on my wife whith my 3 kids in the house. Cops called etc. My wife put her hand on my daughters shoulder and told her to come inside. She then starts accusing my wife of child abuse and puts an emergency order in. It got denied and we have to go back to mediation. My question is can she use statements from my step mom and step sisters as facts? Also does the licence and prostitution matter to the judge

She cannot use statements from anyone unless that person actually testifies in court. If someone testifies to a fact in court that is easily proven to be untrue, that person's entire testimony would be suspect.

 

[CdwJava]

You're letting your ex fluster you too much. Abide by the order. Don't let her get under your skin.

If you feel that you can show that she is a danger to your child and can convince a court that she should not have unsupervised visitation, then take her back to court. Until then, follow the order. If people come to your house, you and/or your wife can close the door and call the police if they won't leave. Unless the order mandates that the ex can speak to the child on that particular day, you and your wife are under no legal obligation to permit it.

People like your ex tend to make a lot of noise, but rarely have the grounds or the means to deliver on the legal threats. Any "statements" by other parties will be virtually meaningless unless they also go to court to testify.

As suggested, you should really speak with an attorney and have an attorney guide you through this mess.

 

[DustinB15]

You're letting your ex fluster you too much. Abide by the order. Don't let her get under your skin.

If you feel that you can show that she is a danger to your child and can convince a court that she should not have unsupervised visitation, then take her back to court. Until then, follow the order. If people come to your house, you and/or your wife can close the door and call the police if they won't leave. Unless the order mandates that the ex can speak to the child on that particular day, you and your wife are under no legal obligation to permit it.

People like your ex tend to make a lot of noise, but rarely have the grounds or the means to deliver on the legal threats. Any "statements" by other parties will be virtually meaningless unless they also go to court to testify.

As suggested, you should really speak with an attorney and have an attorney guide you through this mess.

Thanks, yea I think your right. We've had the same order for like 5 years she filed as a emergency but then wanted to switch the custody to where I had her every other weekend. Went the VIP mediation today, then have full mediation and court again. I'm thinking I ahouldnt need a lawer unless it goes to another court date. But I think the judge will go off the mediation report and usally a lawer doesn't go to mediation. She also forces my kid to write a letter but she's 11.

 

[HRZ]

WHats your property dispute with Dad got to do with all this?

 

[CdwJava]

I think he's using that as a reason it appears that dad and stepmom may be in opposition to him.

 

[DustinB15]

WHats your property dispute with Dad got to do with all this?

My dad helped her get a lawyer (his wife's niece). They wrote "statements" that i haven't seen. They are trying to throw me off because im getting stressed over the property case and now the Custody case. He said im abusing my daughter for things like He bought her a chrome book a while back and she got in trouble at school and got it taken away. She was earning money here with chores and then she was going over there and getting $20-$40 for sweeping or something stupid. Its just petty stuff. Someone called the cops the other saying our kids were in the house alone with our dogs. Cops came, wife answered the door and the cops interviewed the kids and left. Its a mutual crap on me thing. They forced my daughter to write a letter. all kinds of dumb things. They said i tried to jump out of a car during a fight with my wife. That's not true. We have had the same custody orders for like 5 years now were i have 5 days a week and 1 weekend a month.. Said my daughter was failing in school even though I have the report cards.

 

[HRZ]

None of that involves "property"

ITs not necessarily illegal to wage a contest of petty beefs...but a judge is not going to be happy to listen to a pile of petty beefs and generally speaking hearsay comments are inadmissible ...but if your adversary shows up with a paid gladiator then unless you want to be left bleeding to death in arena you best send in your own gladiator ...a lawyer paid to advocate your point of view and protect you from her and her gladiator ... and you need your gladiator on board soon ..not just as you,walk into court.

 

[DustinB15]

None of that involves "property"

ITs not necessarily illegal to wage a contest of petty beefs...but a judge is not going to be happy to listen to a pile of petty beefs and generally speaking hearsay comments are inadmissible ...but if your adversary shows up with a paid gladiator then unless you want to be left bleeding to death in arena you best send in your own gladiator ...a lawyer paid to advocate your point of view and protect you from her and her gladiator ... and you need your gladiator on board soon ..not just as you,walk into court.

I know. I appreciate it. The property dispute is I moved in to help my father when his wife left him. For insurance in case they got back together I was put on the deed 50%. I have paid all the bills, mortgage etc for the past year. They got back together and now he's pissed he lives in a trailer on the property because my family (his grandma kids) moved into the house. The wife is puffing him up basically. We got into a bad argument and now all this is going on. My wife and I are trying to gather up funds for two lawyers now.

 

[DustinB15]

My father and step mom basically want us to move out with out any comp. I've spent over 10k fixing the house and property. They think we will just deal with it and move out since they are good again. I made a website for a property lawyer my company uses in exchange for a couple demand letters. He or his lawyer hasn't responded yet. We might have to partition the property which will cost a lot.

 

[LdiJ]

My father and step mom basically want us to move out with out any comp. I've spent over 10k fixing the house and property. They think we will just deal with it and move out since they are good again. I made a website for a property lawyer my company uses in exchange for a couple demand letters. He or his lawyer hasn't responded yet. We might have to partition the property which will cost a lot.

I agree that you are due compensation for the money that you put into the property and therefore do not have available to use to find alternate housing. I agree that legally you own half of the house (which you could continue to own even if you didn't live there anymore). However, morally you should probably give your dad his house back as long as you get compensated.