What are minors rights to their income?

[quincy]

Will your son lose all incentive to work if you take his money?

 

[Just Blue]

Will your son lose all incentive to work if you take his money?

Personally I would let kiddo not get a car at 17. And not let him drive mine. Action/reaction.

 

[ajkroy]

I work with teens for a living. As sure as I am breathing, I know that as soon as you take away a teen's income (regardless of the situation or legality), that teen will stop working.

 

[LdiJ]

I work with teens for a living. As sure as I am breathing, I know that as soon as you take away a teen's income (regardless of the situation or legality), that teen will stop working.

If you take all of it, maybe. They are taking some of it for savings for a car.

 

[Just Blue]

If you take all of it, maybe. They are taking some of it for savings for a car.

The kids has already proven that he isn't responsible enough to have a car.

 

[HRZ]

I am not a fan of teens "must" own or have free access to a car ..I get OPs point that parents get tired of being drivers ...but the costs of car ownership are much higher than just buying it ....and apparently this teen has yet to develope financial responsibility consistent with parental expectations . ( Mine made it well past graduate school before they had own car )

IF teen is not taking parental input as to spending what makes you as Mom think he is going to accept you or Dads input as to when he may go where with a car ...and BTW my guess is parents have right to control getting a license and where it is kept until junior is 18 .

Certainly to "take" all his earnings becomes a disincentive to work...but the "hard " way to learn at home is likely far more compassionate and forgiving than the real hard way once out from under your roof.

 

[JacobsMom]

Will your son lose all incentive to work if you take his money?

That's a good question. I'm not sure actually. He loves his job and wants to move up once he's old enough and they allow him, so he's very motivated there but I'm unsure if our putting our foot down will cause him to lose that motivation. I do know that he wants more independence which we've explained to him that he would have more when he's less dependent on us but these baby steps (such as getting his own car), is one of those first steps. He's very interested in having his own wheels and even gets excited talking about how he'd be able to go anywhere he wants without asking us to drive him or being able to pick up extra shifts without it conflicting with our schedule. It appears that he is very interested in reaching sole independence however it seems that he wants to do it on his own terms possibly? All I know is, he's a procrastinator in many ways and this is just one of them and so far, allowing him to "learn the hard way" seems to have just enabled the behavior. We're trying to teach him "needs over wants" but it's been very trying as of late.

 

[JacobsMom]

I work with teens for a living. As sure as I am breathing, I know that as soon as you take away a teen's income (regardless of the situation or legality), that teen will stop working.

That's what I'm wondering now as well and if that's the case, then so be it. He'll end up not enjoying going back to little kid status but then I worry his rebellion will may get worse. He's about to get his permanent drivers license which we've already discussed that he'd have to pay the difference for our insurance going up to add him on, which he's happy to oblige. Perhaps he's nervous about getting his own car even though he seems excited. I'll have to tall to him more and find out. Thank you for your comment to allow me to go through this thought process. It may just be more than us putting our foot down that is the issue here.

 

[LdiJ]

That's what I'm wondering now as well and if that's the case, then so be it. He'll end up not enjoying going back to little kid status but then I worry his rebellion will may get worse. He's about to get his permanent drivers license which we've already discussed that he'd have to pay the difference for our insurance going up to add him on, which he's happy to oblige. Perhaps he's nervous about getting his own car even though he seems excited. I'll have to tall to him more and find out. Thank you for your comment to allow me to go through this thought process. It may just be more than us putting our foot down that is the issue here.

One thing that my parents always did when I was growing up, was require us to put 1/2 of any money that we got (gift money, wages, or anything else) in our saving's accounts, which we could not spend without parental permission. The money was primarily earmarked for college, but things like a car or other major items could be done. Therefore I am in favor of requiring teens to save for major items. You do not however, want to take all of his money, because that really would make him less motivated to work.

 

[stealth2]

I obviously did something wrong. I didn't wait until my kids were of working age to teach fiscal responsibility. That was started when, oh, they started to understand money. Let's say by 5. They learned the difference between wants and needs quite easily. By the time they were working age? They'd seen what supporting a family involved and knew that extras were stuff they would have to budget for. We never really had to discuss helping with expenses - they understood that extras needed supplemental funds. And kicked in. Both worked for extras while in school (HS and college). Yeah, I musta did sumthin' wrong.

/sarcasm.

 

[stealth2]

His birthday is in December and we gave him the deadline to have saved half and we'll match the amount but so far it appears that he's not taking things seriously and plans to wait last minute to save?

Honestly? You made a commitment to him. How or when he saves the money is irrelevant. As long as he does it by the deadline you provided? You and hubby should live up to your commitment.

 

[JacobsMom]

Honestly? You made a commitment to him. How or when he saves the money is irrelevant. As long as he does it by the deadline you provided? You and hubby should live up to your commitment.

We plan to follow through on our end so long as he does as well. If he only saves $5 by December then we'll match it like we said, but he has to understand were not handing him over our hard earned money without him putting in effort as well. We're not about to raise an entitled individual whose going to expect the rest of the world to "owe" him as well. You took my response out of context.

 

[JacobsMom]

I obviously did something wrong. I didn't wait until my kids were of working age to teach fiscal responsibility. That was started when, oh, they started to understand money. Let's say by 5. They learned the difference between wants and needs quite easily. By the time they were working age? They'd seen what supporting a family involved and knew that extras were stuff they would have to budget for. We never really had to discuss helping with expenses - they understood that extras needed supplemental funds. And kicked in. Both worked for extras while in school (HS and college). Yeah, I musta did sumthin' wrong.

/sarcasm.

Each child is different. Our other kids are doing wonderfully well. He is the youngest so he's practiced and seen how things were run prior. Perhaps his mindset is that he doesn't want us "navigating" his life like we did his siblings. I don't know. All I do know is, that all 3 kids are completely different and the eldest two are doing very well in their adult life, however my eldest never gave us these issues, so again, that's why I'm here asking.

 

[JacobsMom]

One thing that my parents always did when I was growing up, was require us to put 1/2 of any money that we got (gift money, wages, or anything else) in our saving's accounts, which we could not spend without parental permission. The money was primarily earmarked for college, but things like a car or other major items could be done. Therefore I am in favor of requiring teens to save for major items. You do not however, want to take all of his money, because that really would make him less motivated to work.

I agree 100% with everything you've said. Like I said, I feel like we made a horrible decision with giving him the opportunity to fail on his own. Now we're having to backtrack and attempt to fix these new issues. If he chooses to quit working, then he obviously won't get a car or be able to continue his independent lifestyle that he's created for himself (ie; go to the mall with friends to spend money, pay for himself and an admirer to go to the movies, purchase video games, purchase fancy body sprays etc) because at that point he'll have to settle with literally what we say goes.

 

[gryndor]

As many different parents and kids as there are, that's how many different kinds of relationships exist. My mom always assumed that we would pick up "the right way" by watching her demonstrate proper etiquette, table manners, budgeting, keeping a home in working order, etc. She thought this because that's how she picked these skills up from HER mom. But both of us turned out to be little uncultured heathens and she only addressed her disappointment with the way that all went down when I was in my twenties.

You and your husband are doing just fine. You are playing the long game and your son can't see beyond his nose because he simply doesn't have the presence of mind and/or experience to know better. The learn by failure might still be the way to go, but you have to be prepared to not save him when he falls. I didn't catch exactly how old your son is (15 or 16, I would guess), but if he biffs his opportunity for a car, he'll have to work things out with friends and coworkers. Or if he gets the car but lapses on insurance or registration... he has to stop driving until that's fixed... and that's where you DON'T save him. Otherwise, that entitled behavior will just continue and he'll press harder and harder until you fold.

I can't wait til my youngest is a teenager... he's as wild and heathen-y as I was, times ten! I may wind up eating all my own words