Yes I’d do that, request a phone appearance. Every county is different so some may allow it others may not. I’d request it before hand though so you’re not just calling during the hearing. It may or may not be granted. It’s why I suggested some how getting ahold of the court administrators to talk about options available to you.
Stealth, I don’t mean to come at you but in all reality maybe there’s a reason I’ve only commented on one thread and this is it. In fact I never intended to comment on any thread but this one caught my attention. You may have had some 48000 contributions here but no one was mentioning the UCCJEA and how it could help Blitz understand things better. So maybe I saw a way to add something whether my first post ever or not. I didn’t even pay attention to who’s who or how long they’ve been here.
I’ve read up and down the laws pertaining to this and I also want to keep it in perspective. UCCJEA will say that OR is currently the home state. If Blitz wants it that way it will probably start in OR. I’m also saying since Blitz and his ex have strong ties to KY his ex does have a fighting chance to pull OR is an “inconvenient forum” and KY is more fitting. Not saying it’s a for sure deal for her to pull it off.
I think your ex is giving you ammo. This is why I also suggest keeping your cool and not giving her any ammo at all. She is filing for a restraining order so don’t give any her anything that can validate her ideas. For instance don’t call her 20 times in a row til she answers(not saying you’re doing this) seen other people do it. Don’t ask the same repetitive questions over and over, if she doesn’t want to answer. I’d say contact her for your kids a reasonable amount of times maybe once per day call and leave a message to talk to your kids, maybe every now and then discuss your situation if you can. If you can get her to text you and make sure you are clean and presentable in your texts. Texts are writing and admissible in court, email is too. Keep records of you trying to contact her in regards for your kids. Phone logs maybe record the message you leave on her voicemail asking to see your kids.
Not seeing your kids or talking to them is hard. After me and my ex split it was months, I almost had to publically serve her cause she couldn’t be found to be served. In the end even though it’s hard your ex attempting to isolate you from your kids could be used in court, her trying to get an unwarranted restraining order to make it difficult for you can show her unwillingness to compromise and be realistic. If her or her lawyer is smart enough to pull the inconvenient forum argument in OR, bring up that she’s already isolated you and kept the kids from you. If she’s going to be uncompromising or disrespectful recognizing your relationship as the father you’ll be inconvenienced to have to go to KY to settle things every time she acts up. My ex has violated so many things even though I can afford to travel more, she’s the one with issues following the order. This is what I mean keep your composure strong and respectful, no matter how raw your emotions are now. If she’s acting bad don’t do it too.
You’ve already got a KY and OR lawyer, so this is good. I’d definitely make sure your OR lawyer is indeed familiar with interstate custody or has resources that can help them. They’ll need to know the law not guessing it in front of a judge and it’ll help to know how judges in the area typically rule in such cases. I think with interstate custody you have to be picky on the lawyer. I’ve gone into consultations where lawyers are confused about the UCCJEA. I think it’s great you’ve read that law. It’s written in legal terms but now you know how it should be enforced and how your ex can approach too, know all angles.
Realistically in my opinion and based on what I’ve seen if you guys are going to live in two different states custody is going to be hard. Plus I don’t see a judge awarding 100% custody to either party, unless one is found completely incompetent for whatever reason but highly unlikely. Even if so that person will be given ways to redeem themselves as a parent and eventually most likely get some more custodial rights. So I’m saying keeping it real and understand that both parents will get time even if it’s out of state. Maybe we don’t agree with your ex leaving but realistically she has support and connections in KY so she’s probably not going to be forced to stay in OR. This means visits and custody will be on a bigger scale. Longer custodial periods and longer periods without. May be a 2,3,6 month rotation. So I’d be thinking about What you want with long term custody in that situation. Think about the school year too, they may not be school age but a 6month rotation won’t work in the school year. One parent will get school time and the other summer vac and any break a week or longer.
If this was me using what I know in hindsight If your ex ever becomes compromising, perhaps use her wanting the jurisdiction in KY as leverage. Maybe she’s willing to agree to 50/50 custody. Maybe willing to give you the school year and her the summers and still see it as 50/50 or vise versa pretty much negating support for either of you if you have the same earnings potential. But do everything through the courts not just word of mouth. Who knows maybe KY favors 50/50 custody over giving majority to one parent maybe it’s oregon that does. Kind of feel the laws of custody and support in both states.
I wish I could say everything will be easy but it won’t be. I know everything’s fresh but the intensity will die down eventually.
