Dad divorcing with non biological children

[Aloha50]

I live in Iowa. My wife was unfaithful and I have filed for divorce. She had children from a previous marriage when we met and I have been their Dad for most of their lives. I have moved out and my wife said she doesn’t want me to see the children. I want to avoid legal problems but I also don’t want to lose my relationship with my kids. What is my situation and what can I do? Would it make any difference if the children’s biological father gave me his permission to see the children?

 

[stealth2]

If Dad allows you to see the kids during his parenting time, Mom likely can't do anything about it. However, you have no inherent rights of your own.

 

[Aloha50]

What about me emailing, phoning, or texting the kids?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

You have no legal rights to contact them at all.

 

[Just Blue]

I live in Iowa. My wife was unfaithful and I have filed for divorce. She had children from a previous marriage when we met and I have been their Dad for most of their lives. I have moved out and my wife said she doesn’t want me to see the children. I want to avoid legal problems but I also don’t want to lose my relationship with my kids. What is my situation and what can I do? Would it make any difference if the children’s biological father gave me his permission to see the children?

They are not your kids. You are not their dad. If the FATHER allows you to see your STEP children on his visitation time that is up to him.

 

[stealth2]

What about me emailing, phoning, or texting the kids?

If Mom says not on her time, then no. If their Dad allows it on his time, that's fine. When they are 18, they are free to contact you.

 

[xylene]

You could reconcile with your wife.

 

[xylene]

my relationship with my kids.

They aren't you kids. You are kind of very naive to think otherwise.

 

[Aloha50]

Whoops, should’ve have typed “step-children”. I am aware of that.

What about my attending public events such as their school plays, sports or concerts?

 

[Zigner]

Whoops, should’ve have typed “step-children”. I am aware of that.

What about my attending public events such as their school plays, sports or concerts?

Sure, up until the point that your soon-to-be ex-wife files a restraining order for stalking and/or harassing.

 

[Aloha50]

Their father seems to be sympathetic and value my relationship with the children. My primary question is if I could see them with the father during his visitation if he allows it.

 

[Aloha50]

Sure, up until the point that your soon-to-be ex-wife files a restraining order for stalking and/or harassing.

 

[Just Blue]

Whoops, should’ve have typed “step-children”. I am aware of that.

What about my attending public events such as their school plays, sports or concerts?

You may be asked to leave the event. Seriously...If you wanted rights to the children you should have adopted them. BTW: You won't have a child support order either.

 

[Aloha50]

That does not sound like a good idea.

 

[Just Blue]

Their father seems to be sympathetic and value my relationship with the children. My primary question is if I could see them with the father during his visitation if he allows it.

Yes.