Relinquishing Managing Conservatorship of a Teenager

[Dawn Hall]

What is the name of your state? Texas

I have had managing conservatorship of my 17 year old grandson since he was an infant. I am in need to relinquish my rights in order for his biological father to take him back in their home. They are refusing to do so. I am having major life changes and he needs to go back to his father. Under the conservatorship, how do I relinquish my rights so that the father is forced to take him back? Does the father still have rights and is he obligated to take him if I do this. The new wife is threatening they will turn me in for abandonment if I bring him back.

 

[xylene]

Why and how did you come to have this conservatorship over your grandson?

You have a complex family law situation, and realistically you will need a lawyer.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Texas

I have had managing conservatorship of my 17 year old grandson since he was an infant. I am in need to relinquish my rights in order for his biological father to take him back in their home. They are refusing to do so. I am having major life changes and he needs to go back to his father. Under the conservatorship, how do I relinquish my rights so that the father is forced to take him back? Does the father still have rights and is he obligated to take him if I do this. The new wife is threatening they will turn me in for abandonment if I bring him back.

I am truly sorry to tell you this, but there is no legal method that you can use to force his father to take him into his home. If you are not currently collecting child support from his father, I suggest that you file with the AG's office for child support. If you are collecting child support, but there has not been a modification for a long time, then I suggest that you file for a modification. Child support or a significant child support increase might change dad's mind.

In addition, if your major life changes have to do with medical issues, then you might want to get social services involved.

 

[xylene]

Does the child have behavioral or developmental issues, a disability, or any other situations that would be relevant to advising you?

He is almost 18. Is a boarding school an option?

 

[Dawn Hall]

He does have the issues you mentioned. He is a very good kid though, he doesn't have friends, stays home and never goes anywhere except with me. He refused to go to school from 9th grade on because of the social issues he has. We have been through a lot in the last few years. My daughter, his bio mother ended up living in my home for 6 years and having two more children - ages 3 and 5. He and his mother are like siblings and constantly fighting. But she has mental issues too. Finally at 56 and taking care of everyone and ex husbands... I sold my house and he and I moved to another part of town in august. Now because of all of the stress I have been through (plus I have owned my own business for 30 years), I need to make major changes in my life. It is a new start in my life - and he needs to be with his father a male role model, not a woman...me! He manipulates, micro manages me along with other issues. It is too much for me. I am planning on going out of the country on a sabatecal for a few months. And I have counseled about this. It is time for my daughter to figure it out, and for my grandson to go to his Fathers. He doesn't want to go, because he cannot manipulate them. And they are all dependent on me. Along with my daughter will probably be on the streets because she cannot get a job and pay her rent or car. I cannot continue to enable, take care of and financially support them. The Father does pay back child support. And this is hurting their family because he married a woman with 5 children, had another baby plus the Father has my grandson and another son.

There is basically no help in Texas for anyone with mental issues. There are no long term facilities, etc. He just needs mentorship, guidance and someone who cares enough to help him. But I cannot do it.

 

[xylene]

This may sound harsh - you freely chose this obligation.

There is no reason why mom needs to live at your your house, but the grandson is your charge until he is 18.

I suggest you get some counseling for dealing with this struggle and your codependency and enabling issues, and delay your sabbatical plans for a few months until the child is 18. You need to be assertive and let them, and the grandson especially, know this will be happening and changes will be coming.

 

[Just Blue]

This may sound harsh - you freely chose this obligation.

There is no reason why mom needs to live at your your house, but the grandson is your charge until he is 18.

I suggest you get some counseling for dealing with this struggle and your codependency and enabling issues, and delay your sabbatical plans for a few months until the child is 18. You need to be assertive and let them, and the grandson especially, know this will be happening and changes will be coming.

 

[Dawn Hall]

I have been in counseling for a long time. At some point you say, I'm done. And the enabling stops. I already have plans for my life right now and I am leaving in December. I have had over 30 years of dealing with issues, therapy, church, 12 step program etc. At some point you have to take care of yourself at any cost!
What you are suggesting I have been doing for many years. But it is easier said to someone else until you walk that road. A abusive daughter, screaming and yelling at you and her own kids. I have evicted etc. Even CPS came in and took the two young ones last year 3 days before christimas because of my grandson and her fighting all of the time. She had a choice , leave your mother's house or we take the kids....she refused to leave. She doesn't work and will never be able to make it on her own. I have had years of trauma with her. Yes I have my grandson, but it is wrong wrong wrong, that the father knowing what I have been through with him all of his life with his mental issues and my daughter, would not care enough about his own son to take him when he has the choice. Basically his wife is saying no, not him,

 

[Dawn Hall]

I appreciate the feed back. But I was basically looking for a legal answer without having to spend money on an attorney. I am attornyed out! I am getting all of my affairs in order before I leave. Thanks for the caring and sharing!

 

[xylene]

You are planning on abandoning a vulnerable minor.

That's the long and short of it.

 

[Dawn Hall]

No I am not, why would I do that after raising him his entire life! That is why I was trying to get legal advice! No matter what , my mother will be staying at my house and he will be here. I am trying to get his father to take him! That is all and he will not take him unless we get the paperwork done.

 

[Dawn Hall]

That is all this forum is , isn't it ? Personal advice? And everyone has it. I got on her to get legal advice.

 

[Dawn Hall]

I have sacrificed my entire life for my kids, grandkids. You have no idea.

 

[HRZ]

You cannot force either of the parents to step up and take charge of thier son...is not going to happen.

 

[HRZ]

At least a quick read of Tx family code says you have a duty to care for child ...trying to get dad to take him is not a good excuse...But if you plead age and inability to care for your ward...sounds logical ...but my guess is you must petition the court to surrender your appointment unless you wait until he is of age at 18.

Seem like there have been blunders along the way...dropping out of school is a major one...somebody should have been in there demanding an IEP appropriate to his needs and abilities . It might not be too late to force the point now.... If the young man is unlikely to be self supporting, somebody should be in court to make sure his mother and father as providing economic support for the duration of his disability , consistent with thier ability to pay as determined by court.

I get it that Fathers new wife wants no parts of this problem...but she is not in the formal equation....at the very least his pocketbook should be in equation.... and for your daughter not to work to support her own children ....wow! Not clear if your daughter is still living under you roof...