Relinquishing Managing Conservatorship of a Teenager

[stealth2]

he will not take him unless we get the paperwork done.

And this is frankly the right and proper thing to do. And since you are the party wanting things changed, it is on you to file for it. To do so, you either need to retain an attorney or educate yourself on the proper forms to file and procedures to follow. No one here can lead you through it. And none of this will be completed by the end of the year.

 

[LdiJ]

No I am not, why would I do that after raising him his entire life! That is why I was trying to get legal advice! No matter what , my mother will be staying at my house and he will be here. I am trying to get his father to take him! That is all and he will not take him unless we get the paperwork done.

You do realize that his father has six other children living in his house that he is legally liable to protect. If your grandson has issues that made it unsafe for your other grandchildren causing CPS to pull them from the house, how can you expect his father to not fear the same problems?

 

[not2cleverRed]

I have been in counseling for a long time. At some point you say, I'm done. And the enabling stops. I already have plans for my life right now and I am leaving in December. I have had over 30 years of dealing with issues, therapy, church, 12 step program etc. At some point you have to take care of yourself at any cost!
What you are suggesting I have been doing for many years. But it is easier said to someone else until you walk that road. A abusive daughter, screaming and yelling at you and her own kids. I have evicted etc. Even CPS came in and took the two young ones last year 3 days before christimas because of my grandson and her fighting all of the time. She had a choice , leave your mother's house or we take the kids....she refused to leave. She doesn't work and will never be able to make it on her own. I have had years of trauma with her. Yes I have my grandson, but it is wrong wrong wrong, that the father knowing what I have been through with him all of his life with his mental issues and my daughter, would not care enough about his own son to take him when he has the choice. Basically his wife is saying no, not him,

Perhaps your grandson would do better in a residential facility.

 

[Zigner]

That is all and he will not take him unless we get the paperwork done.

Are you saying that dad is willing to take the child, but asks that you have the paperwork taken care of first?

 

[HRZ]

Whether his father has any duty to protect children not his or adopted by hm is up for debate...but father ( and mom ) should have a duty to provide for this child !

Apparently the mom and dad were removed from conservatorship in TX ..and we simply don't know what all took place .

Four thoughts from a layman :

1. THis ball is not going to move forward unless you move it and odds are you lack legal skills to move it wo counsel. In the meantime , like it or not, you have a legal duty and moral duty to care for fragile child entrusted to your care ...until alternate placement is arranged.

2. I believe court is unlikely to return child to fathers home /care given the likely lousy record to date but that record is unclear , the new wife is sure to try to sabotage any such adventure if it's appears likely .

3. IF Dad owes considerable back child support ( your post is unclear if he owes support by order ) don't hold your breath waiting to get paid .

4. Your opinion about youngster needs a male role model borders on sexist ! What he needs is somebody who cares in a place where he has odds of thriving .
Many a Mom fulfills that role for a son or a dad for a daughter . ...and somehow your daughter failed to step up to the plate and provide for her son .

 

[Ohiogal]

That is all this forum is , isn't it ? Personal advice? And everyone has it. I got on her to get legal advice.

Call CPS and state that you need them to take custody as you cannot do it anymore and the parents will not either.

 

[t74]

Has he been in legal trouble? Have you ever consulted a social worker about therapeutic, residential placement? Is he a danger to you physically?

It is not sexist for an older woman would believe a difficult adolescent male child would benefit from a man in control. The child may be physically intimidating. Since she has been battling this for years, it is understandable that she is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

However if his father has 8 other children in his household already, adding this child to the mix seems like a recipe for disaster. Grandmother should be pursuing the disability diagnosis for long term support as he becomes an adult.

I would suggest seeking recommendations for service providers from the local advocacy group for emotionally disturbed and/or disabled children and adults.

 

[HRZ]

Rethink that TX law requires compulsory education thru 18/19 and get him reenroled with a well crafted IEP that meets his needs . It is entirely possible that IEP address a residential placement at school expense and that IEP services continue until age 21 or he is otherwise capable of supporting himself.....AVOID being granted a HS diploma ..it may serve to terminate services !!
Schools may duck and weave as to providing expensive services....but the law favors the child in need ...and provides a massive window for attorney fee recovery if school district fails to step up to the plate .

That IEP may also be a near gold card in terms of qualifying for other public sector benefits .

 

[t74]

HRZ, Where would you suggest she start with the schools? Designated school by attendance zone? District office? Speed is important and most processes move slowly.

 

[HRZ]

My suggestion. Haul him to designated school by zone and enroll him . then immediately request the steps to evaluate him for an IEP

 

[Zigner]

HRZ - you keep pushing for an IEP, but we have been presented with NO information that an IEP is warranted, nor that even services under a 504 plan are warranted. Upon what information do you base your belief that such services are warranted?

 

[FarmerJ]

Your county social services can tell you if a 17 year old can be waivered into a group home. I cant imagine your state not having group homes for persons with developmental disabilities.