trandyball
Junior Member
We're in Washington state.
So my wife's mother has dementia. She has two daughters who she's had a great relationship with their entire lives. But they're not so good with finances, so she appointed her own brother, their uncle, as POA. Against their will and knowledge. Worth noting that he hadn't been in her life much prior to this and also worth noting that she had saved up a somewhat substantial amount during her decades of employment in a bank. He got the paperwork signed swiftly and in secret.
The girls are two of the nicest people you've ever met, my wife's a therapist, which is a testament to her ability to be rational at least. But the uncle, in turns out, is one nasty piece of work and has got it into his head that the girls are bad and need to be kept out of every possible facet of their mother's life except visiting her. The uncle moved the mother into a care home close to him and his wife, but an hour and a half drive from the girls for example and they had no say in the matter. The uncle withholds most medical updates too, including any time she has an injury. The girls protest as peacefully as possible, begging to be notified of various issues, and then get met with aggression and accusations of not doing nearly as much work to care for the mother. Often provably false accusations.
I recently had to step in and I wrote a long email defending the girls and asking why the uncle's side of the family (almost all of which have mental health issues) are being so vindictive. I was threatened with not being able to see my mother in-law again. I sent an email saying I didn't want any more contact, just to leave me out of it. I was then told that I was in fact banned from seeing her. My theory is that he's trying to take her money and fabricate a case that the girls can't have any due to negligence or some such. She never made a will.
Here's the sorts of things we want to know:
1. Can we contest this ban of be not being able to see her? or is his power absolute?
2. Is there any legal situation where his power can be contested in general if he withholds medical and financial information from the girls? given that their mother has them as next of kin in at least one of her investment accounts.
3. What happens when she dies? the girls want to have control over the funeral and not have that final act be also taken away from them. Is there a way he can prematurely take control over the funeral proceedings given that he has control over the mother's finances now?
4. Any chance (given that we have email proof of his lack of reason and compassion) he can be sued for emotional distress?
5. Can he just take all her money with no repercussions?
So my wife's mother has dementia. She has two daughters who she's had a great relationship with their entire lives. But they're not so good with finances, so she appointed her own brother, their uncle, as POA. Against their will and knowledge. Worth noting that he hadn't been in her life much prior to this and also worth noting that she had saved up a somewhat substantial amount during her decades of employment in a bank. He got the paperwork signed swiftly and in secret.
The girls are two of the nicest people you've ever met, my wife's a therapist, which is a testament to her ability to be rational at least. But the uncle, in turns out, is one nasty piece of work and has got it into his head that the girls are bad and need to be kept out of every possible facet of their mother's life except visiting her. The uncle moved the mother into a care home close to him and his wife, but an hour and a half drive from the girls for example and they had no say in the matter. The uncle withholds most medical updates too, including any time she has an injury. The girls protest as peacefully as possible, begging to be notified of various issues, and then get met with aggression and accusations of not doing nearly as much work to care for the mother. Often provably false accusations.
I recently had to step in and I wrote a long email defending the girls and asking why the uncle's side of the family (almost all of which have mental health issues) are being so vindictive. I was threatened with not being able to see my mother in-law again. I sent an email saying I didn't want any more contact, just to leave me out of it. I was then told that I was in fact banned from seeing her. My theory is that he's trying to take her money and fabricate a case that the girls can't have any due to negligence or some such. She never made a will.
Here's the sorts of things we want to know:
1. Can we contest this ban of be not being able to see her? or is his power absolute?
2. Is there any legal situation where his power can be contested in general if he withholds medical and financial information from the girls? given that their mother has them as next of kin in at least one of her investment accounts.
3. What happens when she dies? the girls want to have control over the funeral and not have that final act be also taken away from them. Is there a way he can prematurely take control over the funeral proceedings given that he has control over the mother's finances now?
4. Any chance (given that we have email proof of his lack of reason and compassion) he can be sued for emotional distress?
5. Can he just take all her money with no repercussions?
