Girlfriend kicked me out of apartment- what rights do I have to our daughter?

[Msharp13]

What is the name of your state? Kansas
My girlfriend and I have been living together in an apartment where she is the only name in the lease. I pay for the rent and she covers utilities. We have a 4 month old daughter that we both love. I am a good caring and loving father and she is a good and caring mother but she does not want me to live with them anymore simply because she doesn’t love me. (We aren’t in an abusive relationship or anything) she is just extremely head strong and has a very volatile temper. I told her that I understand how she feels and asked her to give me a month so that I could find another apartment close to them so I could see my daughter frequently. She threatened to call the cops on me if I did not leave the apartment immediately and removed most of my clothes and belongings out of the apartment. She is using our dog and our daughter as extortion against me to get her way out of this scenario. What are my options and what should I do? I do not want to be away from my daughter. If my girlfriend is forcing me out of the apartment, can she legally keep my daughter with her or can I take my daughter with me? I am very involved with her and I know her schedule and routines. The only thing that would be different is that I would have to bottle feed our daughter since my girlfriend has been doing a good job of breastfeeding.

 

[cbg]

Have you been legally established as the father?

 

[Msharp13]

Have you been legally established as the father?

Yes I have. My name is on the birth certificate as the father and my daughter also has my last name.

 

[adjusterjack]

Then you go to court and petition for a custody and visitation arrangement. Count on paying child support.

Without a court order, you've got nothing and she's in control.

 

[xylene]

You need a lawyer right away to handle the family law issues.

You kind of split the difference of whether or not you have already vacated.

What exactly does

removed most of my clothes and belongings out of the apartment.

Thst mean? Did she throw your belongings away / destroy them, place them outside, put the in your car?

Whatever, I suggest you take your salvageable belongings and any remaining belonging and put them in a storage unit or with a friend.

Do you have a car? If so keep the critical items in your car.

If you are destitute you can sleep temporarily in your car until you have a new situation. This can get old fast, so ask after friends and family for short term stays.

If you cannot afford storage - this is a handy tip and has worked well for myself and others. Put your non-critical belonging in trash bags and seal them up. Put those bags in boxes. One can obtain free boxes any number of ways - loquor sotres are a good bet. Then put the boxes in bags and tape up throughly. Double bag if conditions are going to be extreme These are well protected from moisture and can be stowed off the ground outdoors in a friend's yard or even in a seculed lot or woods. Lightly covered with brush they are almost unnoticable. This is a good way to deal with a brief period of transiencey without money for proper storage, which can in some cities be extremely expensive.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Kansas
My girlfriend and I have been living together in an apartment where she is the only name in the lease. I pay for the rent and she covers utilities. We have a 4 month old daughter that we both love. I am a good caring and loving father and she is a good and caring mother but she does not want me to live with them anymore simply because she doesn’t love me. (We aren’t in an abusive relationship or anything) she is just extremely head strong and has a very volatile temper. I told her that I understand how she feels and asked her to give me a month so that I could find another apartment close to them so I could see my daughter frequently. She threatened to call the cops on me if I did not leave the apartment immediately and removed most of my clothes and belongings out of the apartment. She is using our dog and our daughter as extortion against me to get her way out of this scenario. What are my options and what should I do? I do not want to be away from my daughter. If my girlfriend is forcing me out of the apartment, can she legally keep my daughter with her or can I take my daughter with me? I am very involved with her and I know her schedule and routines. The only thing that would be different is that I would have to bottle feed our daughter since my girlfriend has been doing a good job of breastfeeding.

If you are not going to be living with the child's mother, then you have to understand that you are not going to be with your daughter all of the time. Once you get court orders for parenting time your daughter is not going to be with you every day. You and her mother will be sharing your mutual child.

Trying to take her with you now would be a bad idea for many reasons. One, mom is not going to just let you walk out the door with her, therefore there will be a huge scene and you could even end up arrested for domestic violence if you try to forcibly take the child out the door. Second, if your child is breastfeeding she might refuse to take a bottle or might end up with an upset digestive system with an abrupt change to formula. Third, would it really be in the best interest of your child to be living with you in transient circumstances?

Also, in doing a brief google search it appears that KS is one of the states where an unwed mother has legal custody by default. Therefore it looks like mom has custody now and you would have to go to court to get any kind of custody.

 

[t74]

Given the potential for accusations of domestic violence - real or fabricated, it is in your best interest to leave and find another place to stay even though an eviction process might be required in your state. A protective order against you is far more inconvenient and expensive than finding an alternate living arrangement.

Ask to visit with your child and pet at public locations. Keep records of your communications and visits. Be polite and consistent with your requests, but do not harass her in any way like repeated phone calls and texts. See an attorney next week; ask family to loan you the money to consult with one if necessary. Until then, research visitation policies and also services in your area for unwed fathers. Look for ones for infants and toddlers so you know what to expect in the near future.

Remember, that unless child support has been ordered, you should not by "gifting" her money. Since you are not on the lease, the rent is all on her. Put what you might have given her or spent on your child into a separate bank account for support ordered in the future.

 

[adjusterjack]

Kansas is a one-party consent state when it comes to recording conversation. You are permitted to secretly record any phone conversations that you and she have. Avoid texting (difficult to present in court) and keep archived copies of all emails permanently.

I agree that you should back off of anything confrontational as women can get protective orders pretty much for the asking.

Use the courts to protect your rights.