Out of state visitation

[t74]

When they marry, there are two airlines from which to choose from.

I assume that dad pays child support. His job enables him to do so. Would you rather he be unemployable due to his demands for specific time off? Of course not. Are there other family in the NC home location? It is certainly possible that the child could stay with them if both dad and step-mom are working.

Mom, you have no control over what he can do with his job; if he has low seniority, his options will be limited for vacations and schedules. You appear to want to keep the child from his father rather than to try to find a FEASIBLE solution. It is often suggested that a non-custodial parent follow the custodial parent to a new location. You could do the reverse and move to dad's new location; NC gets rave reviews as a place to live.

 

[stealth2]

When they marry, there are two airlines from which to choose from.

For.....? The free flights? It is possible that it is not a perk for a step-child. I don't know... do you?

 

[LdiJ]

When they marry, there are two airlines from which to choose from.

I assume that dad pays child support. His job enables him to do so. Would you rather he be unemployable due to his demands for specific time off? Of course not. Are there other family in the NC home location? It is certainly possible that the child could stay with them if both dad and step-mom are working.

In the first place this is not a stepmother its dad's girlfriend and there is no hint of them marrying anytime soon. On top of that dad is moving to the girlfriend's home town not his family's home town so its unlikely that there are any extended family of the child's there.

Mom, you have no control over what he can do with his job; if he has low seniority, his options will be limited for vacations and schedules. You appear to want to keep the child from his father rather than to try to find a FEASIBLE solution. It is often suggested that a non-custodial parent follow the custodial parent to a new location. You could do the reverse and move to dad's new location; NC gets rave reviews as a place to live.

And that is pretty ridiculous advice.

 

[t74]

In the first place this is not a stepmother its dad's girlfriend and there is no hint of them marrying anytime soon. On top of that dad is moving to the girlfriend's home town not his family's home town so its unlikely that there are any extended family of the child's there.



And that is pretty ridiculous advice.

People do not generally get engaged if they do not plan to marry. OP needs to plan long term

There is no way to know if there are extended family members in NC. They are certainly an alternative to a nanny. The stepchildren in my family even fly in to vacation with their step-grandmother when their stepmother is not even in town.

So you would not allow a CP to move away from the NCP? There are regularly suggestions about the NCP follow the CP after a move away. There is nothing that says the CP cannot move. How would you feel about the CP moving to a location that the NCP could get to? I suspect you would advise the NCP to move.

There are many ways to solve the problem to benefit the child. Not everyone in MA lives on Cape Cod. Frankly, I would find NC a far better place to live than MA especially if CP is commuting in Boston area.

 

[CJane]

Given the medical concerns, and Dad's lack of consistent time off/consistent visitation over the recent past, I don't see any reason to try and stick to a standard 6 weeks in summer. I would try and work something out so that Dad could fly to/with kiddo during his longer periods of time off throughout the summer.

If he can do 10 days/month of school break, that's 30 days in the summer. Not ideal, for sure, but a month of dedicated time is better in my opinion than 6 weeks during which Dad only sees the child a couple days/week.

 

[stealth2]

In the first place this is not a stepmother its dad's girlfriend and there is no hint of them marrying anytime soon.

Reread OP:

He informed me that he is moving to North Carolina in the next 4-6 months because he is recently engaged.

 

[Polkadot78]

Well, considering for the last 3 months Dad has cancelled visitation at the last minute... he's not the most involved parent either.

I'd be less concerned about the plane rides, and more concerned about whether the last minute cancellations are just for the new honey. But if Mom is really concerned, she should contact the airline itself and inquire about their policies regarding child passengers with special medical needs.

Also since "engaged" doesn't seem to mean an intent to marry anymore, I could see having an issue with a medically fragile child being cared for by a stranger for 5 out of 6 weeks. Of course, for all we know, the new honey might travel a lot for work, like Dad, so maybe she wouldn't want that responsibility either. (Granted, it's Dad's responsibility to find childcare when exercising his parenting time...) Perhaps OP should consider listening/hearing out what Dad has in mind first.

Airlines do not help passengers administer any medications

 

[not2cleverRed]

Airlines do not help passengers administer any medications

In a medical emergency, they are supposed to have someone there with a basic knowledge of First Aid.

Again, contact the specific airline involved, and ask about their policies for someone your son's age with his medical needs.

If the airline, hearing of your son's medical needs and his age, says they would not allow him to fly unaccompanied get this in writing. If you get to the point where a judge has to decide, and you have it in writing from the airline that the child cannot currently fly unaccompanied, per their rules, then that strengthens your argument and weakens Dad's.

If the airline, hearing of your son's medical needs and his age, says effectively "whatever", and has a policy of just leaving it to the parents to figure it out and use common sense, then you have a choice: 1) You can pay for a ticket for yourself (or some other responsible adult) to accompany your son, 2) You can let your son try it out alone and hope for the best - the airline will do their best to get him there safely. And seriously, kids develop a lot in 6 months - he may grow up a lot between now and summer.

 

[stealth2]

I would likely ask Dad what type of parenting time plan he sees as reasonable. Given the child's medical issues, I would likely ask the court to order that the child be accompanied until X age (when it is likely, based on his medical provider's input, that he would be able to handle his meds/inhaler independently) - at Dad's expense (since he is creating the distance). I would also offer time in MA should he be flying to/from a nearby airport with some amount of heads up (but be open to less notice if you do not have legit plans)...