19 year old son property

[havart]

What is the name of your state?North Carolina
I have a lazy 19 year old son that won't get a job or take a shower. My whole house smells like body odor and urine. All he does is play video games. I cut off his internet except when looking for jobs. I'm thinking of taking his video game console and computer away. Is it legal to take his computer and video console away? Since he is an adult now, I'm not sure if it's legal or not. He doesn't pay rent or help around the house. I have another computer he can use to look for jobs. I'm going to seek counseling for his behavior if he will go but he isn't so incapacitated that he can't work.

 

[xylene]

Consider evicting your adult son if he refuses to leave when you request it.

Did thus just start?

 

[Zigner]

I'll put this a bit more strongly: Stop enabling this adult. Evict ASAP.

 

[adjusterjack]

I'm going to seek counseling for his behavior

Good idea, as his behavior could indicate drug abuse.

 

[Zigner]

Good idea, as his behavior could indicate drug abuse.

Yes, it would be a good idea. The OP definitely needs counseling on how to stop enabling her adult son.

Of course, if she meant that she's going to force HIM in to counseling - well...that's not the way it works.

 

[Just Blue]

Yes, it would be a good idea. The OP definitely needs counseling on how to stop enabling her adult son.

Of course, if she meant that she's going to force HIM in to counseling - well...that's not the way it works.

Well....Sonny might go to therapy if it's a choice between that and having his playstation4, t.v. and his arse living under a bridge.

 

[Zigner]

Well....Sonny might go to therapy if it's a choice between that and having his playstation4, t.v. and his arse living under a bridge.

The son isn't going to go to counseling and the mom parent isn't going to do anything about it because the mom parent has spent a large portion of the son's life enabling (dare I say encouraging?) the son's behaviours. The MOM PARENT needs to learn how to effectively deal with the son before any change will be possible.

 

[Just Blue]

The son isn't going to go to counseling and the mom parent isn't going to do anything about it because the mom parent has spent a large portion of the son's life enabling (dare I say encouraging?) the son's behaviours. The MOM PARENT needs to learn how to effectively deal with the son before any change will be possible.

We don't know that parental inepitude is the cause...Son could be suffering from depression.

 

[Zigner]

We don't know that parental inepitude is the cause...Son could be suffering from depression.

That is a valid point. I was focusing on the characterization of the man as "lazy".

 

[cbg]

But the bottom line is, it's Parent's House, Parent's Rules.

 

[Zigner]

But the bottom line is, it's Parent's House, Parent's Rules.

...so long as the parent sticks to that.

 

[havart]

I'm giving him to July to clean up his act or I'm going to court to evict him. First I want him to go to counseling to find out what is going on. He had ADHD and was hyper when he was younger. Now he is quiet. The lack of grooming started about a year ago. These past few months it's gotten much worse to the point I gag when I walk in the hallway near his room. No drug use because he never leaves the house. I have a younger daughter that is doing great in school, has many friends, showers every day, and has goals to go to college. We raised them both the same way. I would say my stepson got more attention when he was younger because my mother in law constantly made sure I didn't ignore him when my daughter was born. My wife agrees with me now but if it comes time to evict him, I don't know if she will allow it. I'm thinking my step son may have autism or depression. He has signs of autism in my opinion. He told me a few days ago, "Why are you forcing me to get a job?" He plays the victim attitude. Anyways, I'm still trying to find out if I can legally take his stuff away and put it in storage. I have a feeling he still probably won't look for a job if I take everything away from him. He acts like he is suffering and I'm a bully.

 

[stealth2]

So what has Mom been doing to encourage a change in his behavior?

 

[justalayman]

I'm giving him to July to clean up his act or I'm going to court to evict him. First I want him to go to counseling to find out what is going on. He had ADHD and was hyper when he was younger. Now he is quiet. The lack of grooming started about a year ago. These past few months it's gotten much worse to the point I gag when I walk in the hallway near his room. No drug use because he never leaves the house. I have a younger daughter that is doing great in school, has many friends, showers every day, and has goals to go to college. We raised them both the same way. I would say my stepson got more attention when he was younger because my mother in law constantly made sure I didn't ignore him when my daughter was born. My wife agrees with me now but if it comes time to evict him, I don't know if she will allow it. I'm thinking my step son may have autism or depression. He has signs of autism in my opinion. He told me a few days ago, "Why are you forcing me to get a job?" He plays the victim attitude. Anyways, I'm still trying to find out if I can legally take his stuff away and put it in storage. I have a feeling he still probably won't look for a job if I take everything away from him. He acts like he is suffering and I'm a bully.

If it is HIS stuff, then no, you cannot take away his property. That means if he purchased the items or they were gifted to him, it would be a criminal act for you to take control of them.