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Just venting

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tonto77

Member
What is the name of your state? Colorado

Just venting here. My ex domestic partner and I recently separated. I moved out the day she found out I went to a bar, which made her very upset. It was the last drop in the bucket for both.

I was happy to be out of the house and continued to pay all her bills, and expenses. No questions asked. We began exchanging our infant child but after the first week she filed both for custody and protection orders. I didn't know what hit me but I retained legal counsel immediately.

A week or so later I found she moved out of our former apartment and then she called apologizing for everything, that she only filed the protection order because she "didn't know how I would react". I hanged up when I realized who it was.

A week later she told my lawyer she would be dropping both orders, but then the next day she changed her mind and in turned asked for thousands of dollars in exchange to settle the protection order and allow visitation. I agreed to settling and visitation but declined to give her a dime.

Since then, her and her lawyer have tried in different ways to get this large sum of money from me. They have tried to sweeten the pot by offering more visits , etc. I have continued to decline.

Also my lawyer has repeatedly declined their attempts to ask for money, he has explained to her counsel that I do not owe her any alimony or any other type of financial support besides child support since we were not married. Her lawyer in turn continues to demand money and blames me for her client to be couch surfing, financially broke, etc. My counsel suggested to her lawyer that if she was in such financial predicament then perhaps it would be best to hand the child to me until she gets on her own feet. My lawyer has also explained to her attorney that I also have alimony and child support from my previous marriage and those come first. He has also explained that my child support obligation is only based on my full time job only and not my side job (I run an online business which brings in twice as much income).

My legal counsel then formulated preliminary child support and had me send her lawyer a check for basic child support. My ex was livid when she found out the amount, which was about 1/4 of what she had been requesting (not counting the thousands she was also asking for).

Since then she has canceled repeatedly supervised visitations, or emailed me and blamed me for our child getting sick since she doesn't have a stable home, job and she's just "wondering around". She has also emailed me several times stating that she will send our child to daycare since she "will have to work".

Finally, she was more direct and said, "listen, I don't get paid to watch our child, so you either pay me to watch him or you quit your day job so you can watch him while I work". I did not reply just like I have not replied to her other emails.

She has also sent me emails where he has scratches or where she admits he fell off bed, or emails where she says she let him have solids and gagged until his face turned red, etc. I get the feeling she wants me to report her.

I only talk about my situation to my parents and one other friend out of state that she doesn't know. They usually give me good advice. But it would help to hear others perspectives.

I am in no way innocent. I neglected her due to my other obligations and for having an affair. She takes good care of our child but besides what I already posted she also has some strange ideas on vaccines, feeding, etc.
 


Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Colorado

Just venting here. My ex domestic partner and I recently separated. I moved out the day she found out I went to a bar, which made her very upset. It was the last drop in the bucket for both.

I was happy to be out of the house and continued to pay all her bills, and expenses. No questions asked. We began exchanging our infant child but after the first week she filed both for custody and protection orders. I didn't know what hit me but I retained legal counsel immediately.

A week or so later I found she moved out of our former apartment and then she called apologizing for everything, that she only filed the protection order because she "didn't know how I would react". I hanged up when I realized who it was.

A week later she told my lawyer she would be dropping both orders, but then the next day she changed her mind and in turned asked for thousands of dollars in exchange to settle the protection order and allow visitation. I agreed to settling and visitation but declined to give her a dime.

Since then, her and her lawyer have tried in different ways to get this large sum of money from me. They have tried to sweeten the pot by offering more visits , etc. I have continued to decline.

Also my lawyer has repeatedly declined their attempts to ask for money, he has explained to her counsel that I do not owe her any alimony or any other type of financial support besides child support since we were not married. Her lawyer in turn continues to demand money and blames me for her client to be couch surfing, financially broke, etc. My counsel suggested to her lawyer that if she was in such financial predicament then perhaps it would be best to hand the child to me until she gets on her own feet. My lawyer has also explained to her attorney that I also have alimony and child support from my previous marriage and those come first. He has also explained that my child support obligation is only based on my full time job only and not my side job (I run an online business which brings in twice as much income).

My legal counsel then formulated preliminary child support and had me send her lawyer a check for basic child support. My ex was livid when she found out the amount, which was about 1/4 of what she had been requesting (not counting the thousands she was also asking for).

Since then she has canceled repeatedly supervised visitations, or emailed me and blamed me for our child getting sick since she doesn't have a stable home, job and she's just "wondering around". She has also emailed me several times stating that she will send our child to daycare since she "will have to work".

Finally, she was more direct and said, "listen, I don't get paid to watch our child, so you either pay me to watch him or you quit your day job so you can watch him while I work". I did not reply just like I have not replied to her other emails.

She has also sent me emails where he has scratches or where she admits he fell off bed, or emails where she says she let him have solids and gagged until his face turned red, etc. I get the feeling she wants me to report her.

I only talk about my situation to my parents and one other friend out of state that she doesn't know. They usually give me good advice. But it would help to hear others perspectives.

I am in no way innocent. I neglected her due to my other obligations and for having an affair. She takes good care of our child but besides what I already posted she also has some strange ideas on vaccines, feeding, etc.
This site is not for venting. Please seek therapy to learn to cope with your situation. File for divorce and custody/support orders.
 

xylene

Senior Member
He has also explained that my child support obligation is only based on my full time job only and not my side job (I run an online business which brings in twice as much income).
Your lawyer is feeding you baloney.

You will get your ... handed to you for concealing your income.

Bluntly, you are somewhat deluded. Also - how many bills did you pay in one WEEK.
 

tonto77

Member
Your lawyer is feeding you baloney.

You will get your ... handed to you for concealing your income.

Bluntly, you are somewhat deluded. Also - how many bills did you pay in one WEEK.
I prepaid all bills for that first entire month, and just gave her the first official CS check. My lawyer did include my side business on my financial affidavit but also told opposing counsel that per CRS 14-10-115, my only income for child support purposes is that which I earn from my full-time job
 

tonto77

Member
That cite says 'adjusted gross income' btw.
Good point. I'll ask about that. No lol, not sure what that job is. Even if my lawyer were to calculate my side job it still wouldn't be anywhere close to what she's asking. She's technically asking for alimony.
 

tonto77

Member
You got me thinking so here is what I found out regarding "adjusted gross income":

(3) Definitions.  As used in this section, unless the context otherwise requires:
(a) “Adjusted gross income” means gross income, as specified in subsection (5) of this section, less preexisting child support obligations and less alimony or maintenance actually paid by a parent.

(II) “Gross income” does not include:
(A) Child support payments received;
(B) Benefits received from means-tested public assistance programs, including but not limited to assistance provided under the Colorado works program, as described in part 7 of article 2 of title 26, C.R.S., supplemental security income, food stamps, and general assistance;
(C) Income from additional jobs that result in the employment of the obligor more than forty hours per week or more than what would otherwise be considered to be full-time employment;
 

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