Parent refuses to go to nursing home

[Auseti]

What is the name of your state? = PA

My father is having difficulty walking, is incontinent, and falls down a lot. My mom is currently taking care of him but she had a lumpectomy from breast cancer that resulted in nerve damage, she now can not push, pull or lift more than 10 pounds. Obviously, she's not able to provide the care that he needs but my dad refuses to go to a nursing home. Is there anything that we can do that can get him to go for both his own health as well as my mom's?

 

[Gail in Georgia]

Have you discussed other options rather than nursing home placement? Many look into home health services as an alternative to placement.

It is not unusual that an elderly person/couple would wish to remain in their home environment. There are now many options that allow this.

Gail

 

[Auseti]

Hi Gail, thanks for replying. Unfortunately, Medicare will not pay for them to use an in-home service because as they see it my mom CAN take care of him, in addition, he got blacklisted from one in-home nursing company already because he was extremely rude and uncooperative with the people they sent.

 

[Zigner]

You may have to seek conservatorship over your father.

 

[LdiJ]

You may have to seek conservatorship over your father.

Assuming that he is not of sound mind. Very little information has been given.

 

[quincy]

This thread was reported. It was posted in the Family Law Archives and may be moved to a more appropriate forum section. This section of the forum is not for new threads.

 

[Auseti]

You may have to seek conservatorship over your father.

How would I go about this?

 

[Auseti]

Assuming that he is not of sound mind. Very little information has been given.

He is sound of mind.

 

[Auseti]

This thread was reported. It was posted in the Family Law Archives and may be moved to a more appropriate forum section. This section of the forum is not for new threads.

I applogize, I'm unfamiliar with this site and did not see a form that fit my question. Thank you!

 

[LdiJ]

He is sound of mind.

If he is of sound mind, then he has the right to make his own decisions and a judge isn't going to give you conservatorship or allow you to put him in a nursing home against his will. Now, if it ends up being medically unsafe for him to remain at home, then that might change things, but even then, a judge is not very likely to go against his will.

 

[stealth2]

This should be in Elder Law.

 

[quincy]

This should be in Elder Law.

I think the moderator might be pondering the best placement for this thread. It is clearly not this section.

I (again) am curious why there is this particular section of the forum.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

I (again) am curious why there is this particular section of the forum.

It does seem to be the only subforum of its kind on the forum and just begs to be found on a search. It really should not be a sub that anyone can post to.

 

[ALawyer]

The problem you are grappling with is more of a Senior Care Advice question than a legal question. The problem you are facing is one that many adult children face as parents often don't want to go to a "facility" and prefer to remain in their own home as long as possible -- until "something happens" (such as a fall that fractures a hip, or worse) that creates a crisis and makes remaining at home impossible. You really need practical and not legal advice. Going to the www.SeniorCareAdvice.com forum and posting there may make sense.

As a legal response, although you could try to have yourself or another person appointed as his conservator, it's likely that your father would object, and assuming that your father is mentally competent and acting in a manner he could defend as rational, a court would be highly unlikely to appoint a conservator. Further, should you try to have a conservator appointed -- regardless of the outcome -- both he and your mother likely would resent your for trying to have one appointed -- which is a no win situation for you.