Custody of child while parent is on a remote tour / Deployment.

[Kyle33b]

What is the name of your state? I wasn't sure if I should post this in military or custody as it pertains to both. I am in the process of my case being moved from California to Colorado and this case will reside in Colorado. We are working on a new parenting plan and have to come to an agreement or the case goes to mediation/court.

my Question is this. - The mother to my child currently has my child during the school year, while I have my child during the summer/holidays. I have information that the mother is going on a remote tour (doesn't allow family members to accompany) for 1 year to Korea. I have asked that I be able to have my son during this time as I feel this is valuable parenting time I can spend and grow my relationship with my child. The mother disagrees. She is re married with 2 other kids ( half siblings to my child) She tells me the court would never separate the siblings and she plans to have my son remain with the step parent and his siblings during this time period. I want to do what's in the best interest of my child and he has every summer told me he wishes he could stay longer. Prior to her having kids when she or I would leave for military reasons the other parent would take over custody. Now that she has kids in another relationship she no longer will allow this.

Am I in the wrong for wanting to have this time to build a relationship with my child, or should I just allow her to keep him with his siblings? Does anyone have experience with this pertaining to Colorado law.

Thank you for your time.

 

[stealth2]

How old is the child, and how long has the current parenting plan been in effect?

 

[Kyle33b]

The child turns 11 years old in 2 weeks. And the current parenting plan has been in place since he was about 2 years old. We were supposed to re do the plan when he started school but it wasn't done.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? I wasn't sure if I should post this in military or custody as it pertains to both. I am in the process of my case being moved from California to Colorado and this case will reside in Colorado. We are working on a new parenting plan and have to come to an agreement or the case goes to mediation/court.

my Question is this. - The mother to my child currently has my child during the school year, while I have my child during the summer/holidays. I have information that the mother is going on a remote tour (doesn't allow family members to accompany) for 1 year to Korea. I have asked that I be able to have my son during this time as I feel this is valuable parenting time I can spend and grow my relationship with my child. The mother disagrees. She is re married with 2 other kids ( half siblings to my child) She tells me the court would never separate the siblings and she plans to have my son remain with the step parent and his siblings during this time period. I want to do what's in the best interest of my child and he has every summer told me he wishes he could stay longer. Prior to her having kids when she or I would leave for military reasons the other parent would take over custody. Now that she has kids in another relationship she no longer will allow this.

Am I in the wrong for wanting to have this time to build a relationship with my child, or should I just allow her to keep him with his siblings? Does anyone have experience with this pertaining to Colorado law.

Thank you for your time.

There is no guaranteed results in this scenario. Both of you are wrong. Mom is wrong that a judge would never separate the siblings and you are wrong that a judge would automatically decide that its more in the child's best interest to be with you.

What the judge is going to look at is the best interest of the child. Siblings will factor in, being with a parent will factor in. The other things that will factor in are schooling, friends, community, sports, and all of the factors involved in the child's life. At eleven the child's wishes might have some small weight as well.

I have observed judges that will automatically feel that a child should be with a parent in a military situation and judges who will automatically refuse to disrupt a child's life, and other judges who will take it more individually.

There is also timing, and court scheduling that can factor in. I really recommend that you get a consult with an attorney in the state that has jurisdiction of the case and see what they suggest or recommend.

 

[Ohiogal]

You might want to search for the fact that a parent's deployment will not count against them and their time can be used by others. In other words, don't expect to win.