No custody agreement

[LittleWill123]

I live in Pa and my kids live in NC. I don't have a custody agreement but my kids requested to live with me. Can I move my kids in with me in another state without it being looked at as Parental Kidnapping. I've been living here in Pa for the past 2 years. My children expressed that they don't like living with thier Mom. They feel the home environment with their Mom and her Boyfriend is too stressful due to their constant fighting and the break up and make up rollercoster. My daughters always upset and her grades have been slipping since I've been gone. My son shows signs of anxiety. Twice I've asked their mom to take them to see a mental specialist and she has done so. My kids asked me to come get them. I haven't talked to their mom as of yet.

 

[Zigner]

I live in Pa and my kids live in NC. I don't have a custody agreement but my kids requested to live with me. Can I move my kids in with me in another state without it being looked at as Parental Kidnapping. I've been living here in Pa for the past 2 years. My children expressed that they don't like living with thier Mom. They feel the home environment with their Mom and her Boyfriend is too stressful due to their constant fighting and the break up and make up rollercoster. My daughters always upset and her grades have been slipping since I've been gone. My son shows signs of anxiety. Twice I've asked their mom to take them to see a mental specialist and she has done so. My kids asked me to come get them. I haven't talked to their mom as of yet.

If mom agrees, then you may have the children come live with you. If she doesn't, then no, you cannot.
You need to head to court, but even then don't expect the court to award you custody. Kids don't get to choose.

 

[Just Blue]

I live in Pa and my kids live in NC. I don't have a custody agreement but my kids requested to live with me. Can I move my kids in with me in another state without it being looked at as Parental Kidnapping. I've been living here in Pa for the past 2 years. My children expressed that they don't like living with thier Mom. They feel the home environment with their Mom and her Boyfriend is too stressful due to their constant fighting and the break up and make up rollercoster. My daughters always upset and her grades have been slipping since I've been gone. My son shows signs of anxiety. Twice I've asked their mom to take them to see a mental specialist and she has done so. My kids asked me to come get them. I haven't talked to their mom as of yet.

Were you married to the Mother? If not...Has paternity been LEGALLY established? Why did you move so far away from your children?

 

[not2cleverRed]

If mom agrees, then you may have the children come live with you. If she doesn't, then no, you cannot.
You need to head to court, but even then don't expect the court to award you custody. Kids don't get to choose.

And even if Mom does agree... get the custody agreement signed off on by a judge.

By the way, the school year has already started in many districts.

 

[LdiJ]

I live in Pa and my kids live in NC. I don't have a custody agreement but my kids requested to live with me. Can I move my kids in with me in another state without it being looked at as Parental Kidnapping. I've been living here in Pa for the past 2 years. My children expressed that they don't like living with thier Mom. They feel the home environment with their Mom and her Boyfriend is too stressful due to their constant fighting and the break up and make up rollercoster. My daughters always upset and her grades have been slipping since I've been gone. My son shows signs of anxiety. Twice I've asked their mom to take them to see a mental specialist and she has done so. My kids asked me to come get them. I haven't talked to their mom as of yet.

No, you cannot just move your children to another state like that. You would have to file for primary custody AND for permission to relocate them to another state. Your odds of winning would not be very strong either. Status quo is that they live in NC with their mother.

Even if CPS were involved because mom was an unfit parent and they yanked the children from mom, you would still have to jump through all kinds of hoops to get placement of your children, again, because you live out of state.

If you really want to help your children, move back to NC and try for a 50/50 placement.

 

[Zigner]

If you really want to help your children, move back to NC and try for a 50/50 placement.

I agree with the sentiment, but to suggest that 50/50 is possible is a bit optimistic, particularly if mom is opposed.

 

[LdiJ]

I agree with the sentiment, but to suggest that 50/50 is possible is a bit optimistic, particularly if mom is opposed.

That is why I said "try for"

 

[Zigner]

That is why I said "try for"

Fair enough

 

[LittleWill123]

Were you married to the Mother? If not...Has paternity been LEGALLY established? Why did you move so far away from your children?

Yes we are pending divorce. I moved because I'm active duty military. They were supposed to move up with me, but their mom choose to stay in NC because she was having an affair.

 

[Just Blue]

Yes we are pending divorce. I moved because I'm active duty military. They were supposed to move up with me, but their mom choose to stay in NC because she was having an affair.

Ahh...

How old are the children? Are you subject to deployment?

File for temp custody/visitation with a "no paramour" order. That means that neither of you can live with or have overnight sleepovers with BF/GF.

 

[Zigner]

File for temp custody/visitation with a "no paramour" order. That means that neither of you can live with or have overnight sleepovers with BF/GF.

The OP's already let the "paramour" situation occur for the last 2 years - he won't get a no-paramour at this point (if the wife fights it, of course.)

 

[LittleWill123]

Even if there is no agreement? I kept reading it say if there is no custody agreement, then both parents have shared custody of the children. I'm not trying to keep her from seeing her kids. I have every other holiday, and the kids stay with her. All I'm trying to do is flip the situation, for the sake of the kids. In the past 2 years she's had another baby and she now has twins on the way. My kids are not getting the proper care that they need and the only real reason they receive any support is do to my ability to consistently provide child support.

 

[Zigner]

Even if there is no agreement? I kept reading it say if there is no custody agreement, then both parents have shared custody of the children. I'm not trying to keep her from seeing her kids. I have every other holiday, and the kids stay with her. All I'm trying to do is flip the situation, for the sake of the kids. In the past 2 years she's had another baby and she now has twins on the way. My kids are not getting the proper care that they need and the only real reason they receive any support is do to my ability to consistently provide child support.

Yes, even if. Why? Because you're not going to put your kids in the middle of this adult situation. The fact of the matter is that you have let this develop to this stage by not getting things straightened out in court earlier.

 

[Just Blue]

The OP's already let the "paramour" situation occur for the last 2 years - he won't get a no-paramour at this point (if the wife fights it, of course.)

Duh on me!

OP: Nevermind.

 

[LittleWill123]

Ahh...

How old are the children? Are you subject to deployment?

File for temp custody/visitation with a "no paramour" order. That means that neither of you can live with or have overnight sleepovers with BF/GF.

No I'm in Instructor at Villanova University. I'm nondeployable and I'm due to retire after this school year, but I could push it up and retire by the beginning of next year.