Documentation Before Divorce

[jrose5694]

What is the name of your state? Georgia

My husband and I are seperated. We currently reside in Georgia and my husband is relocating to California. We are not yet getting divorced for financial reasons. Can a notarized document stating agreeance regarding custody and child support suffice in the meantime before we get divorced?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

It will work fine until one of you don't agree with it.

 

[jrose5694]

It will work fine until one of you don't agree with it.

and at that point it's just the matter of going to court which would've happened when we eventually get the divorce anyways?

 

[Just Blue]

and at that point it's just the matter of going to court which would've happened when we eventually get the divorce anyways?

Yes...but it can take months for you case to be heard.

 

[not2cleverRed]

and at that point it's just the matter of going to court which would've happened when we eventually get the divorce anyways?

Well...

I infer that he is leaving for CA while you stay in Georgia with the kids.

Here's the thing:
1) Yes, it would be more difficult for him to get residential physical custody in the divorce, because at that point you'll have the status quo of them being with you.
2) Travel costs to facilitate visitation. You might not be thinking of this now, but you should...
3) Child support: suppose between now and when you file for divorce, he decides child support is really too much, or that he's going to count transportation as part of the child support. What recourse do you have? None. Because a notarized piece of paper isn't a court order. The difference between a court order for child support versus an agreement is that a court order is enforceable. If you register with your state's child support agency, they'll even collect and track it for you, for a small fee.

 

[jrose5694]

Well...

I infer that he is leaving for CA while you stay in Georgia with the kids.

Here's the thing:
1) Yes, it would be more difficult for him to get residential physical custody in the divorce, because at that point you'll have the status quo of them being with you.
2) Travel costs to facilitate visitation. You might not be thinking of this now, but you should...
3) Child support: suppose between now and when you file for divorce, he decides child support is really too much, or that he's going to count transportation as part of the child support. What recourse do you have? None. Because a notarized piece of paper isn't a court order. The difference between a court order for child support versus an agreement is that a court order is enforceable. If you register with your state's child support agency, they'll even collect and track it for you, for a small fee.

How exactly does this work though? Can we file for a court order without having all the answers?

 

[not2cleverRed]

How exactly does this work though? Can we file for a court order without having all the answers?

You should look up "Separation Maintenance" in Georgia. You are planning on living apart, you're not divorcing yet, but you need something temporary with the court addressing custody/support - of course you don't need to have all the answers yet. Custody and support is changeable, should circumstances change.

What you want is something that's legally binding, to protect your children. Basically, you need your "agreement" to be in a format that a judge would be willing to sign off on.

 

[stealth2]

How old are the kids?

 

[jrose5694]

How old are the kids?

one 2 year old

 

[stealth2]

For the near-term, make sure you include how transportation will be handled - not only for the child, but the adult accompanying him/her, as well (can't fly as a UM until at least 5) - you will need to decide whether he will come back to GA to p/u and then return, will one of you p/u and the other return, will you take the child & stay in CA during his parenting time? Will hotel/car expenses be needed? When the child is old enough to fly UM, think about whether both of you will be okay w/it. Who will cover the UM fee? If not, the disagreeing parent will cover his/her tickets, or will you agree to split the cost?

For longer-term, you should both think about whether or not you want to include a college savings plan (and you should see if the state you'll file in allows one or both parents to be ordered to pay for college) - will that go to cover state college only or also private? What about extracurricular expenses? How will the two of you decide what will be included? I know it all seems like stuff you "should" be able to figure out, but it all gets more complicated when one or both of you add spouses and/or additional kids.... Don't leave anything out.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Georgia

My husband and I are seperated. We currently reside in Georgia and my husband is relocating to California. We are not yet getting divorced for financial reasons. Can a notarized document stating agreeance regarding custody and child support suffice in the meantime before we get divorced?

No, however, status quo can suffice to some extent. If the children currently live in Georgia and will continue to live in Georgia then there is some protection via status quo. However, that isn't good protection. It could still get really messy if your husband just up and decides to keep the children in CA after a visit.

What you really need is a separation agreement...which needs to be signed off on by a judge. You also need an official child support order.

 

[xylene]

Consider getting a loan or more from relatives and step up the pace of your divorce.

Often when I hear "for financial reasons" is actually one spouse giving up a lot to save the other spouse some money.

Which really don't make a lot of sense. Unless you are trying to reconcile, there is usually very little reason to delay a divorce.