Can custodial parent let the children decide their visitation?

[topnotchsuds]

What is the name of your state? I am in Missouri. I am the non custodial parent. I have a court order parenting plan in place. I was granted every other weekends, certain holidays, 2 full weeks of vacations and child support. It has been a hassle to receive my kids because of the custodial parent has a habit of planning events on my time and asking the kids if they rather do this or go to your dad`s. So here recently I filed 3 police reports on the custodial parent for not enforcing the visitation order that she establish on her parenting plan. Is it against the court order for custodial parent to let the children age 16 and 12 to decide their visitation? If not, can the custodial parent be held accountable for going against the court order parenting plan?

 

[TheGeekess]

Depends. Are you actually attempting to pick the children up or not? If not, then you are accepting the CP's behavior and do not have a complaint of contempt.

 

[topnotchsuds]

Every visit I am there to pick them up. My 16 year old refuses to come so, I call the police and make a report. My 12 year old do not refuse but once in a great while. As she/he has told me that the custodial parent gives them a choice rather than just following the order.

 

[Zigner]

Get back to court with a contempt motion.

 

[topnotchsuds]

Thank you all for your comment

 

[t74]

Teens may have very special events occur on your time. A parent planned event is not one of these. You need to decide how to handle these. For example, prom- announce child will dress and have pictures at your house; special sports event - you will accompany the child; best friend's birthday sleepover - exchange weekends since you receive far fewer overnights; ...

Remember 16yos prefer friends to parents.

 

[topnotchsuds]

I understand that however custiodal parent purposely schedule events like birthday parties, family events on my schedule weekend. She/he needs to do special days on her/his time. Custiodal parent has them 26/27 nights and I have them 3/4 night.

 

[LdiJ]

I understand that however custiodal parent purposely schedule events like birthday parties, family events on my schedule weekend. She/he needs to do special days on her/his time. Custiodal parent has them 26/27 nights and I have them 3/4 night.

How much distance is there between your home and the other parent's home?

 

[stealth2]

Every visit I am there to pick them up. My 16 year old refuses to come so, I call the police and make a report. My 12 year old do not refuse but once in a great while. As she/he has told me that the custodial parent gives them a choice rather than just following the order.

What is their "currency"? Yes, sometimes bribery works. "Oh hey.... I lucked into some tickets for XYZ on Saturday. Oh, you're not interested? Sorry to hear that - I thought you'd enjoy it. I'm sure <friend> will be happy to use them." or "Oh hey! I picked up the newest version of <favorite video game>!" or "<friend> invited us to go <wherever>! No? Well, I guess 12yo can tell you all about it after the weekend."Eventually, 16yo will figure out what s/he is missing. Yes, I know, smacks of Disneying. But sometimes.....

(I'm also going to message you a forum that may be able to provide other strategies...)

 

[topnotchsuds]

How much distance is there between your home and the other parent's home?

An hour apart

 

[t74]

I understand that however custiodal parent purposely schedule events like birthday parties, family events on my schedule weekend. She/he needs to do special days on her/his time. Custiodal parent has them 26/27 nights and I have them 3/4 night.

I guess the children will just have to miss them since they are on your time.

As was said before, file for contempt, and if it continues, file for change of custody.

 

[topnotchsuds]

I guess the children will just have to miss them since they are on your time.

As was said before, file for contempt, and if it continues, file for change of custody.

Thank you. I will be filing a contempt here shortly.

 

[LdiJ]

An hour apart

Well, then what I was going to suggest won't work.