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Can my kids father leave for basic training without my knowledge and not include me in his family plan?

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livinmybestlife

Active Member
Nobody here has stated or implied any such thing.
I don't think anyone here implied that either, and I am sorry if it came across that way. But it seems the school seems to think so, and I find that concerning. I would be very frustrated if I was the OP and pursuing all legal avenues if I was the OP. Step mom is seriously overstepping, and I would be pursuing every avenue to not only rectify the situation at the school, but would also be doing everything I could to be the custodial parent while Dad is in basic or not available to exercise custody due to being stationed elsewhere should that happen in the future.
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I don't think anyone here implied that either, and I am sorry if it came across that way. But it seems the school seems to think so, and I find that concerning. I would be very frustrated if I was the OP and pursuing all legal avenues if I was the OP. Step mom is seriously overstepping, and I would be pursuing every avenue to not only rectify the situation at the school, but would also be doing everything I could to be the custodial parent while Dad is in basic or not available to exercise custody due to being stationed elsewhere should that happen in the future.
As has been pointed out, per the law in the OP's state (Alabama), deployment (or the possibility thereof) cannot be the sole basis for changes in custody orders.
 

not2cleverRed

Obvious Observer
The principal said that since father has given wife POA she is allowed to make changes and that in the court order it doesnt say what days I am suppose to pick them up nor how i am suppose to pick them up. And I cant add myself back on the list because I do not have sole physical custody
Apparently principal is ignoring the fact that you have joint LEGAL custody.

1) I would ask that the principal verify her stance in writing. Because rankly, it sounds so crazy that a judge might not believe it otherwise, should you feel the need to bring it up in court in the future. Most schools/school districts try to stay out of the fray, and only block a parent when there is documentation that the parent is only to have supervised visitation or there's a restraining order.

2) Call and send a letter to the superintendent of schools and the school board. How stern you want to be is up to you. However, since you have already met with the principal, it would not be unreasonable to request that your parental rights and your LEGAL joint custody be acknowledged, and that you be provided full access to YOUR LEGAL children, school communications, and school records (<- bet you're not getting a copy of their report cards), and that failure to recognize your legal rights as a LEGAL parent with joint legal custody of your children in the future will result in legal action against the school district.
 

PayrollHRGuy

Senior Member
2) Call and send a letter to the superintendent of schools and the school board. How stern you want to be is up to you. However, since you have already met with the principal, it would not be unreasonable to request that your parental rights and your LEGAL joint custody be acknowledged, and that you be provided full access to YOUR LEGAL children, school communications, and school records (<- bet you're not getting a copy of their report cards), and that failure to recognize your legal rights as a LEGAL parent with joint legal custody of your children in the future will result in legal action against the school district.
And use the word legal every single time it is appropriate as @not2cleverRed just did.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Then you should be picking up the children after school, at the school. If the school tries not to release them to you then you need to show them your custody orders. Take a copy of the Madison County Standard Visitation Schedule with you in case its needed.
After school does not mean at school. It means ANY TIME after the end of the school day. The school cannot enforce visitation. They are not allowed to do that.
 

t74

Member
As has been pointed out, per the law in the OP's state (Alabama), deployment (or the possibility thereof) cannot be the sole basis for changes in custody orders.
Should not GF/Stepmom's abuse of dad's POA and denial of mom's visitation rights whiule dad is gone play into the determination of future custody orders? If mom is denied her rights during the entirity of dad's training period, I would expect the judge to be unsympathetic since dad should have put his GF/wife in her proper place.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
Should not GF/Stepmom's abuse of dad's POA and denial of mom's visitation rights whiule dad is gone play into the determination of future custody orders? If mom is denied her rights during the entirity of dad's training period, I would expect the judge to be unsympathetic since dad should have put his GF/wife in her proper place.
I suspect this will be resolved long before dad's training period is over. Having said that, I do agree that step-mom's actions can cause things to go badly for dad in court.
 

t74

Member
It has been 3 days. We and the OP really don't know what the father actually knows.
True. I would hope dad is advised of the situation and reads his GF/wife the riot act, contacts the school and withdraws his POA. This is not the way to begin a marriage and step-parenting relationship.
 

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Should not GF/Stepmom's abuse of dad's POA and denial of mom's visitation rights whiule dad is gone play into the determination of future custody orders? If mom is denied her rights during the entirity of dad's training period, I would expect the judge to be unsympathetic since dad should have put his GF/wife in her proper place.
I don't see where stepmom has denied mom her rights except for changing the checkout. But technically today is the day per the court order she would get the children if no agreement. NOT everyday. And it says AFTER school. Not from school.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
If dad is gone for boot camp, he's not going to be in communication at this time.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I don't see where stepmom has denied mom her rights except for changing the checkout. But technically today is the day per the court order she would get the children if no agreement. NOT everyday. And it says AFTER school. Not from school.
The OP states that her court order allows her to pick up the kids every day from the bus stop.

Never mind - found it. Yes, I agree with you.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
As has been pointed out, per the law in the OP's state (Alabama), deployment (or the possibility thereof) cannot be the sole basis for changes in custody orders.
However it can be the basis for temporary changes.
 

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