Supervised Visits

[kustyn727]

What is the name of your state? New York

I was chosen by my sister to supervise the court ordered supervised visits for her children with her ex husband. Recently I had to cancel a scheduled visit due to a last second work issue. Her ex husband threatened to call the police because I wasn’t able to honor this visitation. I am a physician so I am called into work occasionally with little to no notice so I think it’s best I no longer do this. How do I properly excuse myself from being the supervisor? Should I send a letter to my sisters lawyer or the judge?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? New York

I was chosen by my sister to supervise the court ordered supervised visits for her children with her ex husband. Recently I had to cancel a scheduled visit due to a last second work issue. Her ex husband threatened to call the police because I wasn’t able to honor this visitation. I am a physician so I am called into work occasionally with little to no notice so I think it’s best I no longer do this. How do I properly excuse myself from being the supervisor? Should I send a letter to my sisters lawyer or the judge?

How much notice did you have? Was the visit able to be madeup? You don't get to excuse yourself. Your sister does. Which means it should go to her lawyer.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Perhaps your sister should have a list of people, in order of preference.

There is a reason why your ex-BIL's visits are supposed to be supervised. If you feel threatened by your ex-BIL, then report this to the police.

I think, given your ex-BIL's conduct, you should suggest to your sister's lawyer that it might be better to have Dad's visits supervised by an independent 3rd party, at his expense. If you are named explicitly in a court order as the person who is to supervise visitation, then the order needs to be changed.

 

[stealth2]

If you feel threatened by your ex-BIL, then report this to the police.

I think, given your ex-BIL's conduct,

Huh?

 

[not2cleverRed]

Huh?

It was unclear to me whether OP was merely freaked by the idea of the ex-BIL threatening to call the police, or if there was something more sinister.

My understanding is that in New York, supervised visitation is not going to be forced upon a NCP in a permanent (vs temporary) order in a divorce unless something... sinister can be proven.

Since we don't know the back story, and whether Dad is dangerous or just disgruntled, it's important for OP to know that Dad crosses the line from disgruntled to something less acceptable, that OP has options.

 

[kustyn727]

How much notice did you have? Was the visit able to be madeup? You don't get to excuse yourself. Your sister does. Which means it should go to her lawyer.

 

[kustyn727]

I provided a 8hr notice and offered to make up the visit at a different time. He wouldn’t accept me making up the visit a different day. The supervised visits are in place because he has a violent/drug history. Is it acceptable for me to send a letter to my sisters lawyer or does this need to be a phone call/in person meeting? They have their next court appearance on 12/18.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I provided a 8hr notice and offered to make up the visit at a different time. He wouldn’t accept me making up the visit a different day. The supervised visits are in place because he has a violent/drug history. Is it acceptable for me to send a letter to my sisters lawyer or does this need to be a phone call/in person meeting? They have their next court appearance on 12/18.

Send a letter to your sister's lawyer.

Explain that given the flexibility required of your job, and the inflexibility of Dad's schedule, that you will be unable to supervise visitation, unless there is a Plan B person.

Include whatever documentation you have about the missed parenting time, your attempts to reschedule, and whatever Dad's response was.

Dad is going to make a big to do about this at the next court appearance. He may come across as reasonable or unreasonable. You know him better than us. You also have more insight into what your sister is going through, trying to co-parent with her ex.

 

[LdiJ]

Send a letter to your sister's lawyer.

Explain that given the flexibility required of your job, and the inflexibility of Dad's schedule, that you will be unable to supervise visitation, unless there is a Plan B person.

Include whatever documentation you have about the missed parenting time, your attempts to reschedule, and whatever Dad's response was.

Dad is going to make a big to do about this at the next court appearance. He may come across as reasonable or unreasonable. You know him better than us. You also have more insight into what your sister is going through, trying to co-parent with her ex.

Since the next court date is 12/18 which is only 9 days away, I would make it an email or a fax, so that the attorney knows about the issue ASAP and has time to do something about it.

 

[quincy]

Certified same-or-next day delivery is best. Emails are not a good way to communicate legal information and faxing should not be done without prior permission to fax.

 

[stealth2]

I'd likely call the lawyer with a heads up, and then follow up with a hard copy sent certified same-or-next day delivery. Gives the lawyer some extra time to start planning their next step.

 

[LdiJ]

Certified same-or-next day delivery is best. Emails are not a good way to communicate legal information and faxing should not be done without prior permission to fax.

The OP could do all three.

 

[quincy]

Faxing should not be done without permission.

 

[stealth2]

Faxing should not be done without permission.

I'm not sure I agree, q... When a business publishes their fax #, it implies permission to use it.

 

[quincy]

I'm not sure I agree, q... When a business publishes their fax #, it implies permission to use it.

Yes. That indicates permission.