Set Back on Current Visitation

[Buds Gurl]

I live in Orange County, Ca - my son resides in Torrance with his mom. After a battle to gain parental rights and visitation, when my son turned two years I was awarded joint legal custody and a visitation schedule consisting of 5 hours every mid-week and two overnights every other weekend. About six months in his mother and I agreed to follow a schedule of one overnight every other mid-week and 5 overnights every other week. One year later when she tried to abruptly go back to following the visitation reflected in the court order I filed an RFO. In mediation she was told that since we had mutually agreed to follow a new schedule, she did not have the right to change without another mutual agreement. At our hearing we simply stated that we had worked out a schedule and the judge ruled that "schedule changes made via text message are valid", our agreed upon schedule was not articulated in the new court order.
We followed our agreed upon schedule, mostly without conflict, for three years. When my son started school, his mother once again abruptly demanded to go back to the original court ordered schedule and began to send police to enforce it. I was forced to file an RFO and our court date is not until mid-March 2020.
In mediation last week she dug in her heels and I was told by the mediator that I had no choice but to revert to the court ordered schedule. I am contemplating filing an
Ex Parte to try to maintain the schedule we'd been following for three years but on one hand, I do not want t upset the judge (I am aware that they frown upon Ex Parte) but on the other hand waiting 3-1/2 months may set a new normal for my son that the judge may not care to change by then. Not sure what to do, feeling very defeated right now.

 

[LdiJ]

I live in Orange County, Ca - my son resides in Torrance with his mom. After a battle to gain parental rights and visitation, when my son turned two years I was awarded joint legal custody and a visitation schedule consisting of 5 hours every mid-week and two overnights every other weekend. About six months in his mother and I agreed to follow a schedule of one overnight every other mid-week and 5 overnights every other week. One year later when she tried to abruptly go back to following the visitation reflected in the court order I filed an RFO. In mediation she was told that since we had mutually agreed to follow a new schedule, she did not have the right to change without another mutual agreement. At our hearing we simply stated that we had worked out a schedule and the judge ruled that "schedule changes made via text message are valid", our agreed upon schedule was not articulated in the new court order.
We followed our agreed upon schedule, mostly without conflict, for three years. When my son started school, his mother once again abruptly demanded to go back to the original court ordered schedule and began to send police to enforce it. I was forced to file an RFO and our court date is not until mid-March 2020.
In mediation last week she dug in her heels and I was told by the mediator that I had no choice but to revert to the court ordered schedule. I am contemplating filing an
Ex Parte to try to maintain the schedule we'd been following for three years but on one hand, I do not want t upset the judge (I am aware that they frown upon Ex Parte) but on the other hand waiting 3-1/2 months may set a new normal for my son that the judge may not care to change by then. Not sure what to do, feeling very defeated right now.

You would need a consult with a local attorney to even determine that an Ex Parte was appropriate when you have a case that is this far along.

The reality of things is that whatever has been ordered by the courts is what stands. You can ask for a modification based on status quo, but that doesn't necessarily mean that an Ex Parte would be granted. I am not saying that it would not be granted, but its not a guarantee at this stage.

 

[stealth2]

Given that it is not an emergent situation, I doubt an ex parte would be granted...

 

[LdiJ]

I would like to address something that I kind of missed in my first reply. I don't know the distance between Orange County and Torrance, but now that your child is in school, you need to address whether or not the previous schedule you were using is even technically feasible. The child is with mom more school days than with you, therefore the child would go to school in her district. Can you realistically get him back and forth to school on your days, and still get yourself to work on time?

 

[stealth2]

I would like to address something that I kind of missed in my first reply. I don't know the distance between Orange County and Torrance, but now that your child is in school, you need to address whether or not the previous schedule you were using is even technically feasible. The child is with mom more school days than with you, therefore the child would go to school in her district. Can you realistically get him back and forth to school on your days, and still get yourself to work on time?

The distance between Mom & Dad is 25 miles, per Bud's first post on the forum.

 

[LdiJ]

The distance between Mom & Dad is 25 miles, per Bud's first post on the forum.

Ok, then given the traffic in the area, again, I would encourage the OP to examine whether or not its realistic that he can get the child back and forth to school on his days. Or, in the alternative, whether he could move closer to mom to make it more feasible.

Otherwise, he might want to go for larger chunks of school holidays and summer instead.