How can I prove where my ex lives?

[idnarblebb]

My ex has custody of our son. I have been trying to get a least 50/50 since my son was born. We were not together when he was born. My ex lives with her parents and our son. I received a message some time ago from one of my exes friends saying she leaves our son with her mom and disappears for days. I started looking into it and have discovered that she is living an hour and half away with her boyfriend (who is a felon) while my son is with his grandparents. The grandparents are lying to make it seem as though she is still living there. I have not seen or spoken to my sons mom in 2 months. Her mom does all picks up, drop offs, and any other communication with me.
How can I prove in court that she does not live with our son?
I am a fully capable father and I would like to raise my son. I have a crystal clean record, I've never been in trouble, im employed, and I swear it seams like the world is against me. I just want to parent my son. What can I do???

 

[adjusterjack]

How can I prove in court that she does not live with our son?

Hire a private investigator who can follow her, document her activities and testify in court.

Your sayso against her parents sayso isn't likely to go very far.

 

[LdiJ]

My ex has custody of our son. I have been trying to get a least 50/50 since my son was born. We were not together when he was born. My ex lives with her parents and our son. I received a message some time ago from one of my exes friends saying she leaves our son with her mom and disappears for days. I started looking into it and have discovered that she is living an hour and half away with her boyfriend (who is a felon) while my son is with his grandparents. The grandparents are lying to make it seem as though she is still living there. I have not seen or spoken to my sons mom in 2 months. Her mom does all picks up, drop offs, and any other communication with me.
How can I prove in court that she does not live with our son?
I am a fully capable father and I would like to raise my son. I have a crystal clean record, I've never been in trouble, im employed, and I swear it seams like the world is against me. I just want to parent my son. What can I do???

I agree with the advice that you got from AJ, however, I can just about guarantee that if you did file to change custody based on the fact that his mother wasn't living with him, that the grandparents would immediately drag mom back to their house to live, and therefore by the time you got to court she would be back living in the same home as the child.

 

[idnarblebb]

I agree with the advice that you got from AJ, however, I can just about guarantee that if you did file to change custody based on the fact that his mother wasn't living with him, that the grandparents would immediately drag mom back to their house to live, and therefore by the time you got to court she would be back living in the same home as the child.

I know :/ I just dont know what I can do to help myself here. My son his being raised by his grandparents and im only aloud to see him on the weekend.

 

[Ohiogal]

I agree with the advice that you got from AJ, however, I can just about guarantee that if you did file to change custody based on the fact that his mother wasn't living with him, that the grandparents would immediately drag mom back to their house to live, and therefore by the time you got to court she would be back living in the same home as the child.

You think grandparents can drag an adult back to live with them? In what world do you live?

 

[Ohiogal]

I know :/ I just dont know what I can do to help myself here. My son his being raised by his grandparents and im only aloud to see him on the weekend.

You need to man up and file for custody. This is YOUR child. Not the grandparents' child. You need to have as much information about the boyfriend as you can (including CERTIFIED COPIES OF HIS CONVICTIONS) as well as copies of the social media accounts of your ex (print them off).

 

[idnarblebb]

You need to man up and file for custody. This is YOUR child. Not the grandparents' child. You need to have as much information about the boyfriend as you can (including CERTIFIED COPIES OF HIS CONVICTIONS) as well as copies of the social media accounts of your ex (print them off).

They most definitely can pull her back home. My ex got in a lot of trouble after my son was born....cps was even called and they still gave her full custody. (Her parents have a lot of money and I swear they paid a crooked lawyer.) I'm pretty sure her mom is holding something over her head about all of that and has been raising our son for a while now and they want to continue raising him so she definitely has the power to get mom home.

I am going to re-file but the friend of the court basically said I have no case and im not getting any where with a lawyer either. I have an appointment later today with a new lawyer so hopefully he can help. I was humiliated in court the first time, the judge wouldn't even look at anything I had printed off. It felt like I was up against a wall and no matter what I said or did I was not getting custody. I just want to make sure im actually heard in court this time. I need all the knowledge I can get....also, I do have all of the info on the boyfriend printed and ready to go.

 

[Ohiogal]

They most definitely can pull her back home. My ex got in a lot of trouble after my son was born....cps was even called and they still gave her full custody. (Her parents have a lot of money and I swear they paid a crooked lawyer.) I'm pretty sure her mom is holding something over her head about all of that and has been raising our son for a while now and they want to continue raising him so she definitely has the power to get mom home.

I am going to re-file but the friend of the court basically said I have no case and im not getting any where with a lawyer either. I have an appointment later today with a new lawyer so hopefully he can help. I was humiliated in court the first time, the judge wouldn't even look at anything I had printed off. It felt like I was up against a wall and no matter what I said or did I was not getting custody. I just want to make sure im actually heard in court this time. I need all the knowledge I can get....also, I do have all of the info on the boyfriend printed and ready to go.

Wait a minute.. CPS was involved and court orders exist? that would have been nice to know. What did the court grant you? The fact she doesn't live with him though is a change in circumstance.

 

[idnarblebb]

Wait a minute.. CPS was involved and court orders exist? that would have been nice to know. What did the court grant you? The fact she doesn't live with him though is a change in circumstance.

The minimum...every other weekend and Wednesday for a couple hours. I just have to find solid proof that she doesn't live at home, and it's looking like a private investigator is going to be my only option.

 

[_HappyDad_]

How old is your child? Are they old enough that you could pick them up from school during the week?

 

[not2cleverRed]

The minimum...every other weekend and Wednesday for a couple hours. I just have to find solid proof that she doesn't live at home, and it's looking like a private investigator is going to be my only option.

Frankly, why?

In order for a change of custody, you need a "change of circumstance" in the child's life. The child has always been taken care of by the grandparents. The child has limited (if any) exposure to the felon boyfriend; the felon boyfriend poses no credible danger to the child at the moment. How long has the current order existed? Has the child started school?

You can print out all the legal documents you want, but if the information isn't legally relevant or admissible, no one in court is going to listen. By your past results, it would seem that you have little concept of what is legally relevant, or how to present that information to court in a legally admissible way.

 

[Ohiogal]

Frankly, why?

In order for a change of custody, you need a "change of circumstance" in the child's life. The child has always been taken care of by the grandparents. The child has limited (if any) exposure to the felon boyfriend; the felon boyfriend poses no credible danger to the child at the moment. How long has the current order existed? Has the child started school?

You can print out all the legal documents you want, but if the information isn't legally relevant or admissible, no one in court is going to listen. By your past results, it would seem that you have little concept of what is legally relevant, or how to present that information to court in a legally admissible way.

Actually it does matter if the child is in the CUSTODY of mom and mom isn't living there.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Actually it does matter if the child is in the CUSTODY of mom and mom isn't living there.

But mom leaves "for days" - it is unknown whether that she is visiting a lot or what. Grandma handling exchanges isn't proof that mom has moved - mom might just not like to see OP.

What also strikes me is OP's previous statement in post #7:

I am going to re-file but the friend of the court basically said I have no case and im not getting any where with a lawyer either. I have an appointment later today with a new lawyer so hopefully he can help. I was humiliated in court the first time, the judge wouldn't even look at anything I had printed off. It felt like I was up against a wall and no matter what I said or did I was not getting custody. I just want to make sure im actually heard in court this time. I need all the knowledge I can get....also, I do have all of the info on the boyfriend printed and ready to go.

However OP has been presenting his case, it has not been legally effective. The friend of the court has "basically" told OP he has no case.

I suspect that OP is shooting himself in the foot. He may have a point: mom might have actually moved. And her taste in men may suck. But he has to address this in terms of how this is a change of circumstance for the child. If the child has not moved with mom, then who she is living with is irrelevant - the custodial parent's effectively giving over guardianship to the grandparents when there's a legal dad willing to exercise his parental rights is relevant.

 

[idnarblebb]

How old is your child? Are they old enough that you could pick them up from school during the week?

He's 3

 

[idnarblebb]

Our first custody agreement happened when my son was 6 months old. He's now 3 and a half. There's your change of circumstance. We are both working new jobs and have different incomes than the first time around. My ex was awarded custody. She is pretending like shes living with our son and raising him at her parents home but, due to her social media we know that she is living and working an hour and a half away with her boyfriend and our son is being raised by her parents. it is NOT ok for her to have left our son with her parents while keeping him from me.