the role of a private investigator re child support

[mariasusa]

What is the name of your state? CA

Ok, upfront, I am posting for a friend. I will refer this site to her the next time I speak with her. I used to use it for years, and after a lovely sabbatical have re-found it.

If your willing to re past the fact I'm just a friend and not mom posting for herself, her goes;

Friend has a 4 year old child she currently has by default sole physical and legal custody of. There are no child support or custody/visitation orders. Neighter one has sought. My friend is concerned that their childs' father is lying by recently informing (who, I'm not sure) that he is getting $11.00 an hour, the past few months. Previously he was making $80,000 that he declared, apparently much more than that is made 'under the table'. My friend, the mom, is wanting to finally pursue child support and is concerned now with this new submission by dad he is making meagre money.

What I am concerned about personally for my friend is she is being followed by a private investigator. They follow her when she drives her daughter to school, the follow her in Safeway...she took a picture of the PI and the PI started making a scene "I'm going to call the police!" and other weird stuff. To me it seems the PI is trying to harass mom, get her upset so that dad, who is afraid of court, gets a case against mom that she is unstable in public. Sounds kinda nuts but I did see a pic of the PI and she looked weird and apparently is acting weird. Mom called a private investigator and just asked questions, like why is this, what good does a PI do for the dad, etc. This PI told mom that some people do this to shake up that parent and see if they can make them look like they act unstable in public.

I thought the whole thing nuts. I'd read a lot on here and went through what I thought was most things one can go through re contentious ex-parenting. Seems to me a judge would see through such a ruse, especially if some PI's jobs in these cases is to purposely rattle a parent. I just don't see how a judge could look at this seriously (and mom has done nothing off, is keeping her cool) but if they are this sleazy it would be easy for a PI to lie (for the $) and dad attach it to a declaration.

My agenda is this is scaring my friend. She never knows when or where she'll see this woman - well, nobody would handle being followed well. I know I wouldn't. Hope that makes some sense and hope someone tells me this is nuts and to just forget it.
Thanks in advance for your time.

 

[quincy]

If your friend is concerned about the woman following her, she should call the police and report that a woman is following her.

You/your friend should not consider the income reported by the dad to “someone” as being true.

 

[mariasusa]

If your friend is concerned about the woman following her, she should call the police and report that a woman is following her.

You/your friend should not consider the income reported by the dad to “someone” as being true.

Thank you. Funny that was my first advice to her, but my experience so limited in this topic, and the situation so surreal ....well she's also scared of the police so theres another strange bit. Will pass this on though.

 

[Just Blue]

Thank you. Funny that was my first advice to her, but my experience so limited in this topic, and the situation so surreal ....well she's also scared of the police so theres another strange bit. Will pass this on though.

Why is she afraid of the police?

 

[stealth2]

I agree that Mom would be wise to call the police if she is concerned about this person following her, especially as the "PI" wanted to do so on being "caught". She may be a PI, or she may be a nut herself.

If she refuses to call the cops and is concerned that there is a plan to make her look unstable, her best course of action is to simply carry on as normal & not do anything that makes her look unstable.

In terms of CS, it seems a custody finding would be needed as well. Now, with a lengthy period (I'm assuming) of status quo with her having residential custody, she shouldn't worry necessarily. But she should be aware a support filing will likely poke the sleeping bear. She might be wise to be speaking with a lawyer.

 

[LdiJ]

I personally think that its more likely that the woman following your friend is either a nut job or is dad's new girlfriend or something like that. A PI does their best not to be noticed and would be very unlikely to threaten to call the police if someone took a picture of them. I might consider taking a picture of her every time I see her (no drama, just calmly). That way if she decides to call the police or the woman calls the police your friend would have a trail of pictures to show that the woman has been following her around.

 

[mariasusa]

I agree that Mom would be wise to call the police if she is concerned about this person following her, especially as the "PI" wanted to do so on being "caught". She may be a PI, or she may be a nut herself.

If she refuses to call the cops and is concerned that there is a plan to make her look unstable, her best course of action is to simply carry on as normal & not do anything that makes her look unstable.

In terms of CS, it seems a custody finding would be needed as well. Now, with a lengthy period (I'm assuming) of status quo with her having residential custody, she shouldn't worry necessarily. But she should be aware a support filing will likely poke the sleeping bear. She might be wise to be speaking with a lawyer.

Thank you for the advice. Yes, I did mention to her that often a child support case can instigate a custody/visitation case but think I will bring this up again. Right now she seems primarily worried about child support (and a bit confused whether to even request - her thinking process is a little confusing to me)...and I will remind her of this, as that is exactly what happened with my ex...he got very angry and she has mentioned being afraid of "pissing off" her ex in general. I think she's getting occasional - like very occasional handouts of $200, the most recent being $400 cash. She is living hand to mouth but says she's scraping by. I do know the age of 4 is tricky as preschool costs money.

 

[mariasusa]

Come to think of it, she is getting food stamps so it seems that would be triggering child support? Guess I need to get information from her and/or ask her to come here.

 

[mariasusa]

I personally think that its more likely that the woman following your friend is either a nut job or is dad's new girlfriend or something like that. A PI does their best not to be noticed and would be very unlikely to threaten to call the police if someone took a picture of them. I might consider taking a picture of her every time I see her (no drama, just calmly). That way if she decides to call the police or the woman calls the police your friend would have a trail of pictures to show that the woman has been following her around.

I like the idea of pictures and a paper trail and did suggest that to her. Most often its being followed in her car. She borrowed someone's car the other day and talked about her relief not to be looking over her shoulder. She knows what the guys wife looks like (not a pretty story, he was married/separated, then went back to his wife and 4 other children). I saw a picture and the woman is in her 60's and slightly dischelved looking. Maybe dad is hiring a friend who needs extra money or something. However, this contradicts what the PI she called to ask - what the heck - said to her.

 

[quincy]

Come to think of it, she is getting food stamps so it seems that would be triggering child support? Guess I need to get information from her and/or ask her to come here.

If you can encourage your friend to join this forum (under her own username), it would be helpful. She no doubt can provide information about her situation that you are unable to provide.

If she joins, she can add to your thread.