Gal says teen gets to choose a parenting time schedule

[michigandaddy]

MI
Teen Jr in HS

Gal says teen can choose the parenting time schedule as teen pleases. Right now it is nearly 50/50.

When can a teen choose what parenting time schedule they will follow?
Will the court ratify the gal's recommendation?

I am assuming the court will simply rubber stamp the gal's suggestion.

 

[LdiJ]

MI
Teen Jr in HS

Gal says teen can choose the parenting time schedule as teen pleases. Right now it is nearly 50/50.

When can a teen choose what parenting time schedule they will follow?
Will the court ratify the gal's recommendation?

I am assuming the court will simply rubber stamp the gal's suggestion.

It is not all that uncommon for a GAL and then the court to decide that an older teen gets to have some say in the parenting schedule. Its certainly not the norm, but its not that uncommon either. Generally there are reasons why a GAL would make that kind of recommendation and why a court might agree with it. Mostly those reasons would have to do with the parents not cooperating with the things going on in the teens life. School, sports, activities, a part time job, the teen's social life etc.

 

[adjusterjack]

It's also common for teens to want nothing to do with parents so there's no sense in forcing visitation on them.

 

[stealth2]

Generally speaking, by the time a kid is a Junior in HS, a parent should be looking forward to their relationship with their adult child, rather than backward to the one when the child is, actually, a child who is told who, what, when, where. By 16/17, this is a near-adult, with thoughts, opinions, beliefs, interests of their own, and not so easily controlled. Whose ability to learn about life should not be dramatically affected by their parents' divorce. Certainly should not be passed back and forth to satisfy a parent's needs/desires.

Were you/Mom not splitting, I hope it is safe to assume that you would both understand your son/daughter's growing need for independence (albeit with a parental safety net). It should be no different now. That doesn't mean letting them run wild, but give them space to become their own person.

 

[Just Blue]

Generally speaking, by the time a kid is a Junior in HS, a parent should be looking forward to their relationship with their adult child, rather than backward to the one when the child is, actually, a child who is told who, what, when, where. By 16/17, this is a near-adult, with thoughts, opinions, beliefs, interests of their own, and not so easily controlled. Whose ability to learn about life should not be dramatically affected by their parents' divorce. Certainly should not be passed back and forth to satisfy a parent's needs/desires.

Were you/Mom not splitting, I hope it is safe to assume that you would both understand your son/daughter's growing need for independence (albeit with a parental safety net). It should be no different now. That doesn't mean letting them run wild, but give them space to become their own person.

VERY well stated, Stealth!

 

[stealth2]

VERY well stated, Stealth!

I have always believed that it is a mark of my success as a parent when my children are able to fly free, but return with joy.

 

[Just Blue]

I have always believed that it is a mark of my success as a parent when my children are able to fly free, but return with joy.

And they are, and they do. You're a great Mom, Stealth.

 

[stealth2]

We (parents) need to remember that we will be parents for much longer (hopefully) of adults than we are of children. Both are important. But.... we need to always keep our "eyes on the prize" - the adults we want our children to be.

 

[michigandaddy]

I agree that a child who is wanting more space, but my child is being used by the other parent,
Child was used to call CPS on me, that did not work, so now the child needs to be independent is what both mother and child is telling the GAL.

 

[Zigner]

I agree that a child who is wanting more space, but my child is being used by the other parent,
Child was used to call CPS on me, that did not work, so now the child needs to be independent is what both mother and child is telling the GAL.

Then I guess you need to choose whether you want to fight against your child's wishes in this matter...

 

[stealth2]

I agree that a child who is wanting more space, but my child is being used by the other parent,
Child was used to call CPS on me, that did not work, so now the child needs to be independent is what both mother and child is telling the GAL.

Okay - what is your point? What do YOU want?

 

[LdiJ]

I agree that a child who is wanting more space, but my child is being used by the other parent,
Child was used to call CPS on me, that did not work, so now the child needs to be independent is what both mother and child is telling the GAL.

Do you want to have a good adult relationship with your child? Or, do you want to risk your child seeing age 18 as "freedom from dad day"? Its up to you to decide the answer to that question and then decide how to proceed based on the answer to that question.

My grandson's father has other children and his oldest daughter saw age 18 as "freedom from dad day" and hasn't had a thing to do with him since.

 

[michigandaddy]

so let a teen do whatever they want?

 

[stealth2]

MichiganDaddy - my kids are 25 & 28. They have no relationship with their other parent.

 

[stealth2]

so let a teen do whatever they want?

You really haven't provided enough information to tell you more than we have.