Stalked by Granny in NC

[matthew02]

North Carolina- I am the Mom. I have sole custody of my children. Their Dad lost custody through CPS for sexual child abuse, emotional and mental abuse and neglect. Eventually he was criminally charged and convicted by a jury. His mother (Grandma) knew about the sexual abuse and tried to cover it up. Her own husband (grandpa) was also charged (he took a plea deal) for a similar crime but by one of their other grandchildren in which she (the Grandma) was also aware of that abuse too and had also hidden that as well. Even though she knows he is guilty she will not admit it and continues to deny it. She denies it even though my daughter testified that her Grandmother was the very first person she told. Not only does she refuse to accept what has happened but she blames me. She trashes me on social media, trashes the justice system, and CPS. But mostly me... posts things such as false accusers should be jailed, malicious mother syndrome, narcissistic parents and alienators. There is no possible way that my children can have a healthy and positive relationship with her or his family. She absolutely fits all top ten signs of a toxic grandparent. But worse SHE KNEW about the abuse and still sided with her son (protecting him) and accusing everyone else of wrong doing. She even tried to blame it on my new husband (projection). They made fictitious reports to DSS over and over again. My children had to go through trauma focused therapy. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs in attorney fees. For the past two years since my kids father had been incarcerated she has been sending packages (gifts) to my house, birthday cards with no return address, riding by our house repeatedly and showing up at events to which she was not invited. She posted a video on FB during Christmas of the packages that were returned to her because I declined to accept them and the video was directed to my kids. "I sent you gifts but Mama wouldn't let you have them." Asking that anyone who knows my kids to make sure they see this video. Which by the way my kids don't have access to FB but I know there is still that chance at some time they will see it either through friends or some other means. My oldest children are aware that she keeps attempting to make contact and they are also aware that I decline packages that come from her. They understand why being as the two oldest where the victims of the sexual abuse (although at the time of the abuse they were under the age of 7.). On the outside she comes off as a sweet heartbroken old woman who loves Jesus and who just wants to see her grandchildren but that is not the real her. I feel like with the latest incident she is becoming more aggressive and I have that sinking feeling that she is trying to force me to act irrationally or to force me to take her into court so she can take a stab at me in trying to bring forth a case for Grandparent visitation rights. I say she is a grand master of manipulation and she is also the kind of person who will go through your trash. If I have enough evidence could I take it to the Magistrate and can they charge her with Harassment and Stalking? Or am I going to be forced again to obtain a lawyer and go for a civil no contact order? If I choose the latter will it open a can of worms allowing her to bring forth a civil case asking for visitations? I don't seriously believe any judge would grant it to her but you never know.

 

[LdiJ]

North Carolina- I am the Mom. I have sole custody of my children. Their Dad lost custody through CPS for sexual child abuse, emotional and mental abuse and neglect. Eventually he was criminally charged and convicted by a jury. His mother (Grandma) knew about the sexual abuse and tried to cover it up. Her own husband (grandpa) was also charged (he took a plea deal) for a similar crime but by one of their other grandchildren in which she (the Grandma) was also aware of that abuse too and had also hidden that as well. Even though she knows he is guilty she will not admit it and continues to deny it. She denies it even though my daughter testified that her Grandmother was the very first person she told. Not only does she refuse to accept what has happened but she blames me. She trashes me on social media, trashes the justice system, and CPS. But mostly me... posts things such as false accusers should be jailed, malicious mother syndrome, narcissistic parents and alienators. There is no possible way that my children can have a healthy and positive relationship with her or his family. She absolutely fits all top ten signs of a toxic grandparent. But worse SHE KNEW about the abuse and still sided with her son (protecting him) and accusing everyone else of wrong doing. She even tried to blame it on my new husband (projection). They made fictitious reports to DSS over and over again. My children had to go through trauma focused therapy. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs in attorney fees. For the past two years since my kids father had been incarcerated she has been sending packages (gifts) to my house, birthday cards with no return address, riding by our house repeatedly and showing up at events to which she was not invited. She posted a video on FB during Christmas of the packages that were returned to her because I declined to accept them and the video was directed to my kids. "I sent you gifts but Mama wouldn't let you have them." Asking that anyone who knows my kids to make sure they see this video. Which by the way my kids don't have access to FB but I know there is still that chance at some time they will see it either through friends or some other means. My oldest children are aware that she keeps attempting to make contact and they are also aware that I decline packages that come from her. They understand why being as the two oldest where the victims of the sexual abuse (although at the time of the abuse they were under the age of 7.). On the outside she comes off as a sweet heartbroken old woman who loves Jesus and who just wants to see her grandchildren but that is not the real her. I feel like with the latest incident she is becoming more aggressive and I have that sinking feeling that she is trying to force me to act irrationally or to force me to take her into court so she can take a stab at me in trying to bring forth a case for Grandparent visitation rights. I say she is a grand master of manipulation and she is also the kind of person who will go through your trash. If I have enough evidence could I take it to the Magistrate and can they charge her with Harassment and Stalking? Or am I going to be forced again to obtain a lawyer and go for a civil no contact order? If I choose the latter will it open a can of worms allowing her to bring forth a civil case asking for visitations? I don't seriously believe any judge would grant it to her but you never know.

One way to solve the problem is to move to somewhere else and not give anyone who is in contact with her, any contact information for you. Otherwise, all you can do is continue to ignore her. You do not want to let her cause you to act irrationally.

 

[stealth2]

Additionally - why/how do you know what she posts on social media?

 

[Just Blue]

North Carolina- I am the Mom. I have sole custody of my children. Their Dad lost custody through CPS for sexual child abuse, emotional and mental abuse and neglect. Eventually he was criminally charged and convicted by a jury. His mother (Grandma) knew about the sexual abuse and tried to cover it up. Her own husband (grandpa) was also charged (he took a plea deal) for a similar crime but by one of their other grandchildren in which she (the Grandma) was also aware of that abuse too and had also hidden that as well. Even though she knows he is guilty she will not admit it and continues to deny it. She denies it even though my daughter testified that her Grandmother was the very first person she told. Not only does she refuse to accept what has happened but she blames me. She trashes me on social media, trashes the justice system, and CPS. But mostly me... posts things such as false accusers should be jailed, malicious mother syndrome, narcissistic parents and alienators. There is no possible way that my children can have a healthy and positive relationship with her or his family. She absolutely fits all top ten signs of a toxic grandparent. But worse SHE KNEW about the abuse and still sided with her son (protecting him) and accusing everyone else of wrong doing. She even tried to blame it on my new husband (projection). They made fictitious reports to DSS over and over again. My children had to go through trauma focused therapy. I'm in debt up to my eyeballs in attorney fees. For the past two years since my kids father had been incarcerated she has been sending packages (gifts) to my house, birthday cards with no return address, riding by our house repeatedly and showing up at events to which she was not invited. She posted a video on FB during Christmas of the packages that were returned to her because I declined to accept them and the video was directed to my kids. "I sent you gifts but Mama wouldn't let you have them." Asking that anyone who knows my kids to make sure they see this video. Which by the way my kids don't have access to FB but I know there is still that chance at some time they will see it either through friends or some other means. My oldest children are aware that she keeps attempting to make contact and they are also aware that I decline packages that come from her. They understand why being as the two oldest where the victims of the sexual abuse (although at the time of the abuse they were under the age of 7.). On the outside she comes off as a sweet heartbroken old woman who loves Jesus and who just wants to see her grandchildren but that is not the real her. I feel like with the latest incident she is becoming more aggressive and I have that sinking feeling that she is trying to force me to act irrationally or to force me to take her into court so she can take a stab at me in trying to bring forth a case for Grandparent visitation rights. I say she is a grand master of manipulation and she is also the kind of person who will go through your trash. If I have enough evidence could I take it to the Magistrate and can they charge her with Harassment and Stalking? Or am I going to be forced again to obtain a lawyer and go for a civil no contact order? If I choose the latter will it open a can of worms allowing her to bring forth a civil case asking for visitations? I don't seriously believe any judge would grant it to her but you never know.

Is it possible for you and your family to move....like at least 1000 miles from this....woman? Has your husband adopted the children? Is this ....woman...well to do (GPV suits are expensive) ?

At the very least STOP social media. Don't post to it and don't read it. Go old skool and write or call friends and relatives.

 

[bcr229]

Additionally - why/how do you know what she posts on social media?

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Add another vote for moving, but a quick Google search shows that NC is not very friendly to grandparent visitation, especially after custody orders have been settled during a divorce. So, you could stay in-state if your own family is local and you want to stay close to them, and have your mail forwarded to a PO box.