My rights as a father

[Zigner]

Where does that come from? It doesn't sound like it comes from any statutes or guidelines.

I disagree on this one. Many states consider which parent is more willing to facilitate coparenting as part of the child custody determination (including New Hampshire).

EDIT:

https://law.justia.com/codes/new-hampshire/2010/titlexliii/chapter461-a/section461-a-6/

461-A:6 Determination of Parental Rights and Responsibilities; Best Interest. –
I. In determining parental rights and responsibilities, the court shall be guided by the best interests of the child, and shall consider the following factors:
...
(e) The ability and disposition of each parent to foster a positive relationship and frequent and continuing physical, written, and telephonic contact with the other parent, including whether contact is likely to result in harm to the child or to a parent.
(f) The support of each parent for the child's contact with the other parent as shown by allowing and promoting such contact, including whether contact is likely to result in harm to the child or to a parent.
(g) The support of each parent for the child's relationship with the other parent, including whether contact is likely to result in harm to the child or to a parent.
...

 

[LdiJ]

I disagree on this one. Many states consider which parent is more willing to facilitate coparenting as part of the child custody determination (including New Hampshire).

EDIT:

https://law.justia.com/codes/new-hampshire/2010/titlexliii/chapter461-a/section461-a-6/

461-A:6 Determination of Parental Rights and Responsibilities; Best Interest. –
I. In determining parental rights and responsibilities, the court shall be guided by the best interests of the child, and shall consider the following factors:
...
(e) The ability and disposition of each parent to foster a positive relationship and frequent and continuing physical, written, and telephonic contact with the other parent, including whether contact is likely to result in harm to the child or to a parent.
(f) The support of each parent for the child's contact with the other parent as shown by allowing and promoting such contact, including whether contact is likely to result in harm to the child or to a parent.
(g) The support of each parent for the child's relationship with the other parent, including whether contact is likely to result in harm to the child or to a parent.
...

It wasn't the gist of it that didn't sound like any law or guideline, it was the specific language used. In other words, his wording. Therefore I wondered where he had gotten it.

 

[Just Blue]

It wasn't the gist of it that didn't sound like any law or guideline, it was the specific language used. In other words, his wording. Therefore I wondered where he had gotten it.

OP was paraphrasing.

 

[Jackm20]

I'm keeping this to myself for now but I'm trying to think of what I want for custody, after confirming paternity. I'm looking for feed back as to if you think this is fair. Mom plans to breast feed.
(Keep in mind this is just a thought)
Mom and dad share 50/50 on decisions for baby. No moving away without both parents agreement. First 6 months baby is in mom's home for 5 days and dad's home 2 days (mom is welcome to stay at Dad's house with baby in her own bed, in the nursery). Second six months dad gets child for 2 days per week and it is his decision if mom is allowed to stay there. After that, third six months child gets 3 days with Dad and 4 with Mom per week. At the second year mark child spends equal time in both homes.
I've left the child support out of this because I just want to know what you think about the time. Is it fair? Is it unusual?

( Of course we will need to work out the days together, so this is in no way a demand. I just want to know what you think about the time spent with child increasing over time. I'm taking in consideration that mom needs more time with baby in the beginning)

 

[Zigner]

I'm keeping this to myself for now but I'm trying to think of what I want for custody, after confirming paternity. I'm looking for feed back as to if you think this is fair. Mom plans to breast feed.

Mom and dad share 50/50 on decisions for baby. No moving away without both parents agreement. First 6 months baby is in mom's home for 5 days and dad's home 2 days (mom is welcome to stay at Dad's house with baby in her own bed, in the nursery). Second six months dad gets child for 2 days per week and it is his decision if mom is allowed to stay there. After that, third six months child gets 3 days with Dad and 4 with Mom per week. At the second year mark child spends equal time in both homes.
I've left the child support out of this because I just want to know what you think about the time. Is it fair? Is it unusual?

I think you sound very controlling and are suffering from delusions about how this matter will work.

 

[Jackm20]

I think you sound very controlling and are suffering from delusions about how this matter will work.

How? Like I said this was in no way a demand and I'm just wondering if the timeframe is normal when a young child is involved. I'm seeking advice from a third party (here) as a way if talking about it with people that have no bias.

 

[LdiJ]

How? Like I said this was in no way a demand and I'm just wondering if the timeframe is normal when a young child is involved. I'm seeking advice from a third party (here) as a way if talking about it with people that have no bias.

The problem is that no matter what you come up with, if mom doesn't agree, you won't get it. Judges make best interest decisions based on what is best for the child, not what is best or fair to either parent.

You do come across as quite controlling. The baby isn't even born yet and you are already planning out the first two years of the baby's life. You haven't even met the child yet, or know what that particular child's needs are going to be. Each child is an individual.

 

[FarmerJ]

I suggest you learn more about your states process to make sure you establish paternity and ALSO learn if your state has a registry that you can sign up with so if mom decides to place the baby up for adoption it cant happen with out you being notified. then look into so called fathers rights groups and also look for a attorney who specializes in so called fathers rights oriented law.

 

[stealth2]

I suggest you learn more about your states process to make sure you establish paternity and ALSO learn if your state has a registry that you can sign up with so if mom decides to place the baby up for adoption it cant happen with out you being notified. then look into so called fathers rights groups and also look for a attorney who specializes in so called fathers rights oriented law.

I forwarded Jack the link for the Mens Room, as well.

 

[FarmerJ]

Also do try to get not only joint custody BUT do you know of a reason you cannot handle 50 /50 split custody ? I Know of many men who have had it and its pretty decent way to go , one parent must see to it the child has health care insurance and parenting time is equal , my sister and her ex did this for many years, They had a switch day , theirs was Sunday so every Sunday Z would go stay until the next Sunday at parent A s home where he had his own room and then one week until the next Sunday at parent B s home and this way they did not have child support payments they both were equally supporting the child and as it worked out my sister carried the child on her health ins because it was cheaper than what her self employed ex could. < so plan on seeking legal advice about that too.

 

[LdiJ]

Also do try to get not only joint custody BUT do you know of a reason you cannot handle 50 /50 split custody ? I Know of many men who have had it and its pretty decent way to go , one parent must see to it the child has health care insurance and parenting time is equal , my sister and her ex did this for many years, They had a switch day , theirs was Sunday so every Sunday Z would go stay until the next Sunday at parent A s home where he had his own room and then one week until the next Sunday at parent B s home and this way they did not have child support payments they both were equally supporting the child and as it worked out my sister carried the child on her health ins because it was cheaper than what her self employed ex could. < so plan on seeking legal advice about that too.

50/50 would not be good for an infant, particularly a breast fed infant. Later on down the road it would be more feasible.

 

[FarmerJ]

its something to learn about and even ask a judge if they have a recommendation or if they could set a date to re hear the matter.

 

[Jackm20]

The problem is that no matter what you come up with, if mom doesn't agree, you won't get it. Judges make best interest decisions based on what is best for the child, not what is best or fair to either parent.

You do come across as quite controlling. The baby isn't even born yet and you are already planning out the first two years of the baby's life. You haven't even met the child yet, or know what that particular child's needs are going to be. Each child is an individual.

Being prepared and thinking of options is controlling? Like I said many times, I'm just thinking. Not making demands. Of course it's a mutual agreement that needs to be made or the court will make one for us. I'm ok with that. I honestly don't see how I'm being controlling when I'm a victim of domestic violence and am being threatened to have my child kept from me, when I am the one that stays calm and asks mom to work together as a team for our child. I'm being blamed for abandoning them when in fact I have evidence that says that I've always been here and still am for our child yet mom wants me out of their lives. Sorry for being a concerned father that wants to be a large part of my child's life and sorry for preparing myself for what ever may happen. Again for the hundredth time I hope we can work together and do what's best for baby, we need to be civil and put our differences aside! I'll continue to hope mom will come around, but being prepared is not a crime.

Tell me what kind of person can look at their child and say "you don't have a father even though you have one that loves you and wants to be a part of your life"? That's the kind of person I'm dealing with. Someone that assaulted me and degraded me for months on months straight then shuts me off and tells everyone I'm a dirtbag and abandoned them. Someone who has threatened me with not seeing our child since she got pregnant many times, someone that told me to move away and disappear. Sorry I come across as controling to you people

 

[Just Blue]

Until this goes to court and paternity is established you are not the father. Leave the mother alone and when the pandemic ends and court are again open, file.

 

[Zigner]

As you were told previously, register with your state's Putative Father Registry: https://www.dhhs.nh.gov/dcss/pfregistry.htm

Beyond that, leave the woman alone already.