ABSENTEE PARENT

[Peel124]

My son, is already In contact with a family law attorney. I got on here on my own in an attempt get information for myself. I believe I have continuously stated that I'm a concerned grandmother. I work with at risk teens so I see first hand the affects that poor parental guidance from both absentee mothers and fathers can have on kids. It's harder when it's your own family. But again, I simply provided information I know and see first hand. My son is an adult and will do what is necessary thru the courts to ensure his daughter is taken care of on all levels. The "information" I've gotten from these comments were for my benefit and I disagree, I don't have a legal dog in the fight but she's family and that means EVERYTHING.

 

[Just Blue]

My son, is already In contact with a family law attorney. I got on here on my own in an attempt get information for myself. I believe I have continuously stated that I'm a concerned grandmother. I work with at risk teens so I see first hand the affects that poor parental guidance from both absentee mothers and fathers can have on kids. It's harder when it's your own family. But again, I simply provided information I know and see first hand. My son is an adult and will do what is necessary thru the courts to ensure his daughter is taken care of on all levels. The "information" I've gotten from these comments were for my benefit and I disagree, I don't have a legal dog in the fight but she's family and that means EVERYTHING.

No. LEGALLY you are not a party to this custody issue. You most certainly have an emotional concerns regarding the matter though. As your son has an attorney it is prudent that you do not post about his case on the net. I'm sure his attorney would be very unhappy seeing this posted, as it is possible that the mother's attorney could use internet postings in court. In the 15 years I have been a member here quite a few members have had their postings used in civil and criminal cases.

 

[t74]

If the person caring for your grandchild - and likely at least 3 younger ones - is having trouble providing the necessities for the children, dad needs to let his attorney know the urgency of the situation

Assist the other grandmother in finding a social worker to help her access resources. The other grandmother is likely overwhelmed caring and providing for 4 or 5 children without the help of their parents. Make sure that they can take advantage of the meals provided by the schools; the requirements vary by district. With your contacts regarding at risk teens, you should be able to find professional assistance for the other grandmother. Please offer your help to make sure they all have necessities while the legal issues are worked out.

While an 11 yo should not be involved in adult affairs, it sounds like she may be shouldering adult responsibilities at an early age if there are younger children in the household. I do not judge you as harshly as others given the circumstances.

 

[LdiJ]

If the person caring for your grandchild - and likely at least 3 younger ones - is having trouble providing the necessities for the children, dad needs to let his attorney know the urgency of the situation

Assist the other grandmother in finding a social worker to help her access resources. The other grandmother is likely overwhelmed caring and providing for 4 or 5 children without the help of their parents. Make sure that they can take advantage of the meals provided by the schools; the requirements vary by district. With your contacts regarding at risk teens, you should be able to find professional assistance for the other grandmother. Please offer your help to make sure they all have necessities while the legal issues are worked out.

While an 11 yo should not be involved in adult affairs, it sounds like she may be shouldering adult responsibilities at an early age if there are younger children in the household. I do not judge you as harshly as others given the circumstances.

Where in the world did you get the idea that grandma is caring for 4 or more children? Yes, mom apparently has 5 children with three of them being with the husband/boyfriend she is currently away with, but where did you get the idea that those three children are not with their parents?

 

[t74]

Where in the world did you get the idea that grandma is caring for 4 or more children? Yes, mom apparently has 5 children with three of them being with the husband/boyfriend she is currently away with, but where did you get the idea that those three children are not with their parents?

I admit I assumed it. What mother would take only a few of her children and leave at least one elsewhere? Posting grandma indicated other grandma was having difficulties. An 11 yo is not generally a problem - too old to be physically demanding and too young to be a problem teen.

My advice stands no matter how many children are in the house. Making sure any children are provided for should be a high priority even if they are not son's offspring.

 

[LdiJ]

I admit I assumed it. What mother would take only a few of her children and leave at least one elsewhere?

Perhaps a mother who was going to be gone on a temporary basis and had one child who was subject to custody/parenting time orders? Orders that she would violate if she took the child with her. Certainly the three she was with her current husband/boyfriend are not subject to custody orders.

 

[t74]

I always question when an woman chooses her bed buddy over her minor child; she could have remained with all of her children at the original location and let the father of 3 (Fx3) be on his own. If she chose to take her shared children to be with their father, she should have certainly allows the father od the child in question to be with her father rather than burdening mother's mother and sister. Can you imagine how the child in question must feel.

If she left 3 months ago, it was at the beginning of the COVID crisis. Why would anyone be dragging children around the country in this environment? Fx3 may have needed to relocate for work but did not need to take part of the family with him when Mx5 obviously had assistance in the original location. I guess I am old fashioned; I expect parents (fathers as well as mothers) to put the best interests of their young children before themselves.

I hope Fx1 gets the legal assistance he needs quickly and the child can be reunited with her mother soon. This is a heartbreaking situation for all!

 

[LdiJ]

I always question when an woman chooses her bed buddy over her minor child; she could have remained with all of her children at the original location and let the father of 3 (Fx3) be on his own. If she chose to take her shared children to be with their father, she should have certainly allows the father od the child in question to be with her father rather than burdening mother's mother and sister. Can you imagine how the child in question must feel.

If she left 3 months ago, it was at the beginning of the COVID crisis. Why would anyone be dragging children around the country in this environment? Fx3 may have needed to relocate for work but did not need to take part of the family with him when Mx5 obviously had assistance in the original location. I guess I am old fashioned; I expect parents (fathers as well as mothers) to put the best interests of their young children before themselves.

I hope Fx1 gets the legal assistance he needs quickly and the child can be reunited with her mother soon. This is a heartbreaking situation for all!

So, you think that the potential best interest of the one child, outweighs the best interest of the other three? You think that the other three children should not get to be with both of their parents even though they are apparently young. That they should be separated from daddy?

This is not necessarily heartbreaking at all. All we have is the paternal grandmother's side of the story, we don't have anyone else's including dad's.

 

[t74]

So, you think that the potential best interest of the one child, outweighs the best interest of the other three? You think that the other three children should not get to be with both of their parents even though they are apparently young. That they should be separated from daddy?

This is not necessarily heartbreaking at all. All we have is the paternal grandmother's side of the story, we don't have anyone else's including dad's.

It appears to have been Fx3's choice to leave. It is easier to move one adult to visit rather than one adult and potentially 3 children so Mx5 can visit DD. DD is not able to travel at this time given the health issues and transportation difficulties.

You are forgetting that Mx5 left the child not with the child's parent but with Mx5's parent. So children with Mx5 have the benefit of 2 parents full time and DD has only 1 parent part time. Where is the fairness or best interest of DD here?

Again we can agree to disagree. The only bright spot is that DD has 2 caring grandmothers - one who took on her care in a very difficult situation and the other who is obviously concerned for her well being.

 

[Zigner]

It appears to have been Fx3's choice to leave. It is easier to move one adult to visit rather than one adult and potentially 3 children so Mx5 can visit DD. DD is not able to travel at this time given the health issues and transportation difficulties.

You are forgetting that Mx5 left the child not with the child's parent but with Mx5's parent. So children with Mx5 have the benefit of 2 parents full time and DD has only 1 parent part time. Where is the fairness or best interest of DD here?

Again we can agree to disagree. The only bright spot is that DD has 2 caring grandmothers - one who took on her care in a very difficult situation and the other who is obviously concerned for her well being.

Maybe it's the fact that I've got several things going on at work now, but I really can't understand your post with all the shortcuts...

 

[stealth2]

Maybe it's the fact that I've got several things going on at work now, but I really can't understand your post with all the shortcuts...

Mx5 - Mom has 5 children. Fx3 - Dad to 3 of those children.

 

[LdiJ]

It appears to have been Fx3's choice to leave. It is easier to move one adult to visit rather than one adult and potentially 3 children so Mx5 can visit DD. DD is not able to travel at this time given the health issues and transportation difficulties.

You are forgetting that Mx5 left the child not with the child's parent but with Mx5's parent. So children with Mx5 have the benefit of 2 parents full time and DD has only 1 parent part time. Where is the fairness or best interest of DD here?

Again we can agree to disagree. The only bright spot is that DD has 2 caring grandmothers - one who took on her care in a very difficult situation and the other who is obviously concerned for her well being.

No where in this thread was there any indication of health issues or transportation difficulties.