Person can’t remember details of all previous marriages

[comment-no]

California.

How can someone get complete details of all their previous marriages and divorces including ones she is fuzzy with details on and ones that were confidential?
She is now a senior citizen and remembers getting married to one of her husbands decades ago without divorcing the previous partner. She says when she attempted to file for divorce from the previous partner, she was told by a county clerk that there was no record of it, so she assumed that marriage was never recorded and must not have been valid. Therefore, she went ahead with the next marriage without doing a divorce.
Now she thinks maybe the clerk just didn’t research thoroughly and the marriage may have been filed as a confidential marriage and that would mean the next marriage is the one that’s really invalid.

What can she do to get a proper record search to get to the bottom of which marriages are valid and what her current status is?
She needs a legal trail of paperwork matching all names she has ever used from her maiden name to the current name that she can use to meet requirements to apply for a CA Real ID and then a passport.

 

[Shadowbunny]

Many jurisdictions have online databases that are searchable for free. So start by googling "marriage records + county and state". That should lead you to the county recorder's website. If you don't know what county the marriage took place in, then you may have to search several counties.

Do the same thing for divorce records.

Now, not all counties have made those records available online, so she may need to make a trip to the county clerk or recorder's office in person.

Her other option is to pay someone to search for her.

 

[comment-no]

Many jurisdictions have online databases that are searchable for free. So start by googling "marriage records + county and state". That should lead you to the county recorder's website. If you don't know what county the marriage took place in, then you may have to search several counties.

Do the same thing for divorce records.

Now, not all counties have made those records available online, so she may need to make a trip to the county clerk or recorder's office in person.

Her other option is to pay someone to search for her.

Will that work for marriages filed confidentially and sealed divorces? She needs to find more than just public records.

 

[Shadowbunny]

Will that work for marriages filed confidentially and sealed divorces? She needs to find more than just public records.

If it was a confidential marriage, then she (or her spouse) will have to request the records, most likely in person. However, since many offices are closed due to the pandemic, she will likely need to make an appointment first. Same with the divorce records.

 

[comment-no]

If it was a confidential marriage, then she (or her spouse) will have to request the records, most likely in person. However, since many offices are closed due to the pandemic, she will likely need to make an appointment first. Same with the divorce records.

I was able to find a form for confidential marriage, https://www.lavote.net/Documents/application-to-request-a-confidential-marriage-record-and-certificate-of-identity-for-confidential-marriages.pdf but could not find a similar request form for divorces.

 

[comment-no]

Many jurisdictions have online databases that are searchable for free. So start by googling "marriage records + county and state". That should lead you to the county recorder's website. If you don't know what county the marriage took place in, then you may have to search several counties.

Do the same thing for divorce records.

Now, not all counties have made those records available online, so she may need to make a trip to the county clerk or recorder's office in person.

Her other option is to pay someone to search for her.

Who can she pay to search for her that will have access to find non-public marriages and divorces?

What can she do now if she finds a marriage that was missed by the clerk 40 years ago and then determines her later marriages are invalid because she failed to get a divorce from that earlier marriage?

Didn’t they do background checks on previous marriages before they register new marriages? If the previous marriage was recorded, it would have been in the same county. So, I would think they would find it even if it was confidential.

 

[xylene]

Your elder's situation is far too complex for self or lay help.

She or you should hire an attorney who is experienced with getting real id.

Don't take legal advice from a clerk at the DMV on how to proceed.

 

[Zigner]

What can she do now if she finds a marriage that was missed by the clerk 40 years ago and then determines her later marriages are invalid because she failed to get a divorce from that earlier marriage?

That's not how it works necessarily.

Didn’t they do background checks on previous marriages before they register new marriages? If the previous marriage was recorded, it would have been in the same county. So, I would think they would find it even if it was confidential.

No, and they still don't.

 

[LdiJ]

California.

How can someone get complete details of all their previous marriages and divorces including ones she is fuzzy with details on and ones that were confidential?
She is now a senior citizen and remembers getting married to one of her husbands decades ago without divorcing the previous partner. She says when she attempted to file for divorce from the previous partner, she was told by a county clerk that there was no record of it, so she assumed that marriage was never recorded and must not have been valid. Therefore, she went ahead with the next marriage without doing a divorce.
Now she thinks maybe the clerk just didn’t research thoroughly and the marriage may have been filed as a confidential marriage and that would mean the next marriage is the one that’s really invalid.

What can she do to get a proper record search to get to the bottom of which marriages are valid and what her current status is?
She needs a legal trail of paperwork matching all names she has ever used from her maiden name to the current name that she can use to meet requirements to apply for a CA Real ID and then a passport.

Why it matters at this point is a factor that needs to be considered in any response.

 

[comment-no]

Why it matters at this point is a factor that needs to be considered in any response.

She needs to get a Real ID and passport and she needs a paperwork trail showing how her name legally changed from her maiden name to her current name.

Another issue is that she cannot remember the date or even the year (she is not confident of the year even within a 5 or 10 year range) of one of her marriages. Date of marriage is a required field in the marriage record request form.
How can she search and retrieve a forgotten date of marriage? None of the weddings guests she is still in contact with and are still alive can remember either.

 

[xylene]

She needs to get a Real ID and passport and she needs a paperwork trail showing how her name legally changed from her maiden name to her current name.

Another issue is that she cannot remember the date or even the year (she is not confident of the year even within a 5 or 10 year range) of one of her marriages. Date of marriage is a required field in the marriage record request form.
How can she search and retrieve a forgotten date of marriage? None of the weddings guests she is still in contact with and are still alive can remember either.

Get a lawyer involved and don't listen to a DMV clerk on what she "needs"

 

[stealth2]

Does she have dementia?

 

[xylene]

Does she have dementia?

You qre getting to exactly why I keep suggesting a lawyer.

 

[comment-no]

Get a lawyer involved and don't listen to a DMV clerk on what she "needs"

https://www.dmv.ca.gov/portal/driver-licenses-identification-cards/real-id/how-do-i-get-a-real-id/real-id-checklist/

DMV clearly states their requirements. A lawyer can’t help her to get a Real ID except for maybe helping her to order the correct documents if that can’t be done without a lawyer.

 

[comment-no]

Does she have dementia?

Very poor record keeping habits and poor memory with age.