Non-custodial parent relocation

[MShawcroft]

Colorado

We went through the court system when I moved to the opposite side of the state last year and I received visitation parenting time (summers, extended weekends, and most vacation weeks - split for winter)

This year my husband got a better job in Alabama. His new employer needed him immediately so we had to move. I spoke with my son’s father and he was not okay with the move. I proposed a parenting plan that almost matched with courts order minus extended weekends with me. I told him I had concerns he would try to claim abandonment on me but he said we would work it out that he has a legal and moral obligation to maintain a relationship between our son and I. He never got back to me with an agreement and I had to move. I have been in Alabama for about two months. With vacation coming up I haven’t heard from my son’s father and have an overwhelming feeling he isn’t going to let my son come.
What do I need to do?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

Hire a Colorado lawyer.

 

[zddoodah]

Why did you leave it to your child's other parent to get "back to [you] with [an] agreement"?

What you should have done before moving was -- and what you should do now is -- petition the court for a modification to the existing parenting plan.

Out of curiosity, when is vacation "coming up"? When was the last time you tried calling the father to discuss the upcoming vacation? Also, how old is your son?

 

[Just Blue]

Colorado

We went through the court system when I moved to the opposite side of the state last year and I received visitation parenting time (summers, extended weekends, and most vacation weeks - split for winter)

This year my husband got a better job in Alabama. His new employer needed him immediately so we had to move. I spoke with my son’s father and he was not okay with the move. I proposed a parenting plan that almost matched with courts order minus extended weekends with me. I told him I had concerns he would try to claim abandonment on me but he said we would work it out that he has a legal and moral obligation to maintain a relationship between our son and I. He never got back to me with an agreement and I had to move. I have been in Alabama for about two months. With vacation coming up I haven’t heard from my son’s father and have an overwhelming feeling he isn’t going to let my son come.
What do I need to do?

What vacation is coming up? Do you mean Thanksgiving? How old is your son? Have you spoken to him? Are you paying for all cost of transportation?

 

[stealth2]

Why didn't you petition the court for a revised parenting plan?

 

[MShawcroft]

I had one month to move and I will file one. Until now I didn’t know I would need to. I thought with being the non-custodial it wasn’t relocation.

I mean Christmas but I have to buy a ticket sooner than later.

I expressed I would pay for all transportation.

I have tried to follow up. We are required to communicate through TalkingParents. My son is 12.

 

[Just Blue]

I had one month to move and I will file one. Until now I didn’t know I would need to. I thought with being the non-custodial it wasn’t relocation.

You didn't need to file for permission to move, but you did need to file to amend the visitation order.

 

[MShawcroft]

You didn't need to file for permission to move, but you did need to file to amend the visitation order.

Good to know. I will prepared that this week.

 

[stealth2]

Generally speaking, you don't actually NEED to change the plan, as long as you adhere to your responsibilities. That pretty well means handling your part of transportation, but not taking all of the time you're given - parenting time is a right, not a responsibility. So, you could technically exercise your holiday time, but not your weekend time, should you so choose, as long as you don't create a hardship for Dad. (I'm going to "assume" that you are required to provide transportation already, since you created the distance.)

Does your son fly to see you now? Or is he picked up/dropped off? I can see your ex squawking at having to take time to get the kid to/from the airport, and then having to hang around until take-off, especially during the holidays.

You should definitely file to get it taken care of but should expect that it won't be done by the Christmas holidays. So - think how you can sweeten the pot. If he's going to drive, offer to cover gas & parking (for example). Or offer to pay for Uber (both ways). If there are UM fees associated (there sometimes are, even at 12), pay them yourself. Be creative - what would get your ex to give?

 

[Just Blue]

Good to know. I will prepared that this week.

If I were you I would go ahead and purchase the tickets and give Dad the flight information via TalkingParents.

 

[LdiJ]

Colorado

We went through the court system when I moved to the opposite side of the state last year and I received visitation parenting time (summers, extended weekends, and most vacation weeks - split for winter)

This year my husband got a better job in Alabama. His new employer needed him immediately so we had to move. I spoke with my son’s father and he was not okay with the move. I proposed a parenting plan that almost matched with courts order minus extended weekends with me. I told him I had concerns he would try to claim abandonment on me but he said we would work it out that he has a legal and moral obligation to maintain a relationship between our son and I. He never got back to me with an agreement and I had to move. I have been in Alabama for about two months. With vacation coming up I haven’t heard from my son’s father and have an overwhelming feeling he isn’t going to let my son come.
What do I need to do?

File for a modification of the parenting plan due to the change in distance.

 

[MShawcroft]

Generally speaking, you don't actually NEED to change the plan, as long as you adhere to your responsibilities. That pretty well means handling your part of transportation, but not taking all of the time you're given - parenting time is a right, not a responsibility. So, you could technically exercise your holiday time, but not your weekend time, should you so choose, as long as you don't create a hardship for Dad. (I'm going to "assume" that you are required to provide transportation already, since you created the distance.)

Does your son fly to see you now? Or is he picked up/dropped off? I can see your ex squawking at having to take time to get the kid to/from the airport, and then having to hang around until take-off, especially during the holidays.

You should definitely file to get it taken care of but should expect that it won't be done by the Christmas holidays. So - think how you can sweeten the pot. If he's going to drive, offer to cover gas & parking (for example). Or offer to pay for Uber (both ways). If there are UM fees associated (there sometimes are, even at 12), pay them yourself. Be creative - what would get your ex to give?

We actually were meeting halfway between our distances but I have offered to cover the flight in it’s entirety. I have family there than can save him the time/energy for the flights as well. When he was with his ex he told her that he just wanted to get full custody and take my son away from me. There’s been a lot of parental alienation but the court said it was something that could be changed- yet it hasn’t.

 

[stealth2]

When he was with his ex he told her that he just wanted to get full custody and take my son away from me. There’s been a lot of parental alienation but the court said it was something that could be changed- yet it hasn’t.

That's tough, I know. Luckily, the alienation I dealt with was easy to counter as I had custody. I'm sorry.