Need marriage advice

[lockdownstory]

Hello,

We dated for 3 years and then got married in the beginning of this year. We met once or twice every week when we were dating because we lived 3 hours away. We didn't really have any arguments until we started planning a wedding. She was stubborn about few things and I thought every girl wants a dream wedding so maybe that's what it is but I was wrong.

She fights over each and everything. She constantly talks/yells for 3-4 hours straight. She doesn't appreciate things I do for her but if I don't do one thing then I hear a lecture for hours and hours and she keeps bringing it up everytime we have an argument even after I say sorry. She doesn't let things go. I made so many changes but she doesn't see that. She has anger and trust issues because of her family. She's soo stubborn and last time, we had an argument she left home to stay with her sister. I told her I can't deal with it anymore and we should just file for divorce. She doesn't want that either, she wants to give it another chance. She's way too emotional and only focus on things I don't do. She wouldn't appreciate the other ten things I did for her but if I forget one minor thing then she will keep bringing it up in every argument. Some things are so minor but its so big in her head like one day I forgot to take out trash and she gave me a 5 hour lecture on that. She moved to my state because of my work and now I hear that all the time how she left her friends and family for me.

We don't have any kids yet and no financial things together.
1. Can I file for an annulment because of her anger issues?
2. Should I get some kind of postnuptial agreement or how many times she can fight or argue (like Sheldon and Amy's relationship agreement from big bang theory)
3. Should I get some kind of financial agreement too so if we are divorced in the future then she's not entitled to anything that I paid for.
4. Can I get some kind of child custody agreement right now?

Thank you





3

 

[stealth2]

The state matters. Frankly, the two of you should consider counseling, IMO.

 

[Zigner]

I'm going to assume you're in the US and answer generally because I'm not going to guess at your state:

1. Can I file for an annulment because of her anger issues?

Nope - that's not grounds for annulment.

2. Should I get some kind of postnuptial agreement or how many times she can fight or argue (like Sheldon and Amy's relationship agreement from big bang theory)

Sure you can, but it's meaningless from a legal aspect. Speak to your marriage counselor about this.

3. Should I get some kind of financial agreement too so if we are divorced in the future then she's not entitled to anything that I paid for.

This is something you should speak to your attorney about.

4. Can I get some kind of child custody agreement right now?

Nope - there's no child(ren).

Thank you

You're welcome.

 

[lockdownstory]

Virginia

 

[bcr229]

Suggest marriage counseling if she does not want a divorce. If she refuses then run to a divorce attorney.

Absolutely do NOT get her pregnant, you and the child will likely end up with 18 years of misery.

 

[zddoodah]

Can I file for an annulment because of her anger issues?

No.

Should I get some kind of postnuptial agreement or how many times she can fight or argue (like Sheldon and Amy's relationship agreement from big bang theory)

Even if I assume that the word "or" in this sentence was intended to be "on," such an agreement would not be enforceable in any way. It's also absurd since it takes two to fight or argue.

Should I get some kind of financial agreement too so if we are divorced in the future then she's not entitled to anything that I paid for.

You're free to seek any sort of postnuptial agreement on this subject. Whether your wife will agree is, obviously, something about which no one here can opine intelligently.

Can I get some kind of child custody agreement right now?

Ummm....you told us that you "don't have any kids yet," so I have no idea what you might be contemplating.

Your post tells me that you need very seriously to think about divorcing before things get worse and you two are too deeply intertwined.

 

[Zigner]

Suggest marriage counseling if she does not want a divorce. If she refuses then run to a divorce attorney.

Absolutely do NOT get her pregnant, you and the child will likely end up with 18 years of misery.

I do not disagree, but I would like to add that, with a child, you'll be co-parents for the life of the child, not just 18 years.

 

[stealth2]

I do not disagree, but I would like to add that, with a child, you'll be co-parents for the life of the child, not just 18 years.

Only if they both choose to remain involved into adulthood.

 

[Just Blue]

Hello,

We dated for 3 years and then got married in the beginning of this year. We met once or twice every week when we were dating because we lived 3 hours away. We didn't really have any arguments until we started planning a wedding. She was stubborn about few things and I thought every girl wants a dream wedding so maybe that's what it is but I was wrong.

She fights over each and everything. She constantly talks/yells for 3-4 hours straight. She doesn't appreciate things I do for her but if I don't do one thing then I hear a lecture for hours and hours and she keeps bringing it up everytime we have an argument even after I say sorry. She doesn't let things go. I made so many changes but she doesn't see that. She has anger and trust issues because of her family. She's soo stubborn and last time, we had an argument she left home to stay with her sister. I told her I can't deal with it anymore and we should just file for divorce. She doesn't want that either, she wants to give it another chance. She's way too emotional and only focus on things I don't do. She wouldn't appreciate the other ten things I did for her but if I forget one minor thing then she will keep bringing it up in every argument. Some things are so minor but its so big in her head like one day I forgot to take out trash and she gave me a 5 hour lecture on that. She moved to my state because of my work and now I hear that all the time how she left her friends and family for me.

We don't have any kids yet and no financial things together.
1. Can I file for an annulment because of her anger issues?
2. Should I get some kind of postnuptial agreement or how many times she can fight or argue (like Sheldon and Amy's relationship agreement from big bang theory)
3. Should I get some kind of financial agreement too so if we are divorced in the future then she's not entitled to anything that I paid for.
4. Can I get some kind of child custody agreement right now?

Thank you





3

File for divorce.

 

[adjusterjack]

I told her I can't deal with it anymore and we should just file for divorce. She doesn't want that

You don't need her permission to file for divorce if you want out. With no kids and no appreciable assets to divide you can walk away clean. You want marriage advice? Pack up and find another place to live and file for divorce. Quit having sex with her so you don't get tricked into having a baby. Your marriage is broken, kaput, finished, dead as the Norwegian Blue in the Dead Parrot sketch. Even Dr Phil can't save it.

 

[zddoodah]

You don't need her permission to file for divorce if you want out. With no kids and no appreciable assets to divide you can walk away clean.

While this is correct, without a property settlement or separation agreement, one must be separated for a year before filing for a "no fault" divorce.

Absolutely do NOT get her pregnant

Quit having sex with her so you don't get tricked into having a baby.

Hopefully the OP is getting the message.

 

[stealth2]

I'll repeat the "don't get her pregnant" mantra, but there is a reason for my marriage counseling suggestion. Given that the two of you didn't know each other *that* well before getting married, and that we really don't know what things either of you changed, did/didn't do, it is not out of the realm of possibility that you both walked in with vastly different expectations as to the realities of married life. Just a thought...

 

[Shadowbunny]

Why would you even CONSIDER having a child with someone who is emotionally unstable, yells for 3-4 hours a day, and has anger issues? How would YOU like to have a parent like that? For the love of all that's good in this world, either fix your marriage or get out of it. But do NOT have a child.

 

[Just Blue]

I'll repeat the "don't get her pregnant" mantra, but there is a reason for my marriage counseling suggestion. Given that the two of you didn't know each other *that* well before getting married, and that we really don't know what things either of you changed, did/didn't do, it is not out of the realm of possibility that you both walked in with vastly different expectations as to the realities of married life. Just a thought...

IMHO, per the opening post the OP and his wife seem too immature for marriage. IMHO they should cut their losses and divorce.