Filing Divorce where parties agree

[noname2020]

Indiana

If I file for divorce from my husband, but we agree on child support, custody, and division of debts will it be relatively smooth? I'm hoping best case scenario.

If he would not agree or decide to fight anything, am I able to ask for a GAL for the children? There is history of mental health illness and alcoholism on his part. I have decided that I can no longer be his punching bag. He refuses to get any kind of help for his drinking, and has been unsuccessful trying to get sober on his own. I have been the primary caretaker of the kids, as well as the primary source of income since we married.

 

[zddoodah]

If I file for divorce from my husband, but we agree on child support, custody, and division of debts will it be relatively smooth?

Probably, but I don't know what "relatively smooth" means to you, and you don't know what it means to me.

If he would not agree or decide to fight anything, am I able to ask for a GAL for the children?

You are "able to ask" anyone for anything.

I strongly suggest you confer with and retain a local family law attorney.

 

[t74]

Children are involved. Even if you think you "agree", each of you should have an attorney to make sure the rights and obligations of each of you is entered into court orders properly. Leaving out the fights over the issues will make the legal fees less but what you pay will be worth it to make sure things are done correctly for the children's sake.

ETA: I hope you makeing the statement "punching bag" was not literal. If there is abuse in the household, get yourself and the children to safety immediately.

 

[noname2020]

Children are involved. Even if you think you "agree", each of you should have an attorney to make sure the rights and obligations of each of you is entered into court orders properly. Leaving out the fights over the issues will make the legal fees less but what you pay will be worth it to make sure things are done correctly for the children's sake.

ETA: I hope you makeing the statement "punching bag" was not literal. If there is abuse in the household, get yourself and the children to safety immediately.

No, just emotionally. He has 4 other kids he essentially abandoned so I anticipate he won't actually exercise his parenting time with ours either. I will look to consult an attorney. I just wondered if we can come to an agreement if that would be an okay route to go.

 

[zddoodah]

I just wondered if we can come to an agreement if that would be an okay route to go.

I would speculate that in excess of 80% of divorce cases (and the number may be much higher than that) are resolved by the spouses "com[ing] to an agreement," and I'd bet that a good half of those (or more) involved very little fighting to get to the point of agreement. Nonetheless, the following is absolutely the best thing to do:

each of you should have an attorney to make sure the rights and obligations of each of you is entered into court orders properly.

 

[eerelations]

My brother had an affair, and he and his wife decided to divorce with an unwritten agreement between them and without a lawyer, They had one son, aged 10 at the time, and they verbally agreed to share custody until their son was 18 (at which time said son could decide for himself which of them he would live with). For eight years my brother walked on eggshells. He says now that it might have been easier to go through the court system (i.e., no eggshells, just follow the rules).

 

[zddoodah]

My brother had an affair, and he and his wife decided to divorce with an unwritten agreement between them. . . . He says now that it might have been easier to go through the court system. . . .

It is not possible "to divorce with an unwritten agreement." If they did not "go through the court system," then they're still married.

 

[eerelations]

It is not possible "to divorce with an unwritten agreement." If they did not "go through the court system," then they're still married.

It was a no-fault no-claims divorce (ie., pay a fee, judge rules divorced) through the court system. They did not have lawyers. The unwritten agreement was about property and custody.

 

[zddoodah]

It was a no-fault no-claims divorce (ie., pay a fee, judge rules divorced) through the court system. They did not have lawyers. The unwritten agreement was about property and custody.

What state allows that where the spouses have minor children?

 

[eerelations]

What state allows that where the spouses have minor children?

I don't know. My brother is in Canada.

But where he is isn't the point of my post. My point was that he now feels that having lawyers to help acquire rules set out by the court would have been preferable to his unwritten agreement. I was hoping that the OP would see that...but maybe not?

My sincere apologies to everyone in this thread for causing such confusion.

 

[LdiJ]

What state allows that where the spouses have minor children?

My divorce decree stated that we both kept all property that was in our possession at the time of the divorce, and that we had joint legal custody and would decide custody and child support matters between the two of us as we saw fit.

 

[noname2020]

Consensus seems to be to get an attorney regardless of agreement. I will work on scheduling a consultation. Thank you all!

 

[Zigner]

Consensus seems to be to get an attorney regardless of agreement. I will work on scheduling a consultation. Thank you all!

If you agree, then the attorney's involvement would really only need to be minimal. Basically, s/he will review your information and the agreement in order to advise you on anything you might have "missed".

If you don't agree, then definitely get an attorney for the whole ball of wax.

 

[stealth2]

If your husband were here, I would strongly suggest that he consult with a different attorney, as well.

 

[AlmostThere]

The more detailed your divorce decree is in terms of child support, custody, and visitation the better it is for all involved. I know you are hoping your husband will walk away from your common children, but just because he did it once does not mean he will do it again. Plus, child support, custody, and visitation are mutable should he decide he wants to be involved at a later date.