Custody question when parent moves cross country

[Onthecusp2020]

I was on a temporary training job and I've already quit and the position already filled..
If you can advice me what is the law about proving domestic violence is good as well. I don't want to go to lawyer if I don't have any chance to prove it. As my spouse can see my emails and knows my schedule.

In some states, you can record domestic violence without the other party knowing: "The New Jersey Wiretapping and Electronic Surveillance Act is central to any analysis of these issues. New Jersey is a “one-party consent” state. That means only one party needs to consent in order for the conversation to be recorded. Put another way: you do not need to obtain consent to record your spouse provided your spouse KNOWS you’re a party to the conversation..."
That being said, contemplating leaving your child with an abuser is a terrible idea. I had to flee my abusive husband and stay in a shelter. It was fine. Your child would be safer and happier in a shelter than to be abandoned by their mother and left with an abuser. As I found out the hard way, if they do it to you, they will do it to your child. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILD WITH THIS MAN.

• https://www.womenslaw.org/laws/nj/custody
• https://www.womenslaw.org/find-help/nj/advocates-and-shelters

I was able to get a restraining order against my ex-husband and I showed the judge text messages to prove it. If you have witnesses that can testify to the abuse. Anyone you told about it...?
Either way, you need to file for a restraining order, check into a shelter, let the job go. Your child is the most important thing, and yes, if you leave your child and then claim your husband was abusive, you will not get custody back.

 

[Onthecusp2020]

In some states, you can record domestic violence without the other party knowing: "The New Jersey Wiretapping and Electronic Surveillance Act is central to any analysis of these issues. New Jersey is a “one-party consent” state. That means only one party needs to consent in order for the conversation to be recorded. Put another way: you do not need to obtain consent to record your spouse provided your spouse KNOWS you’re a party to the conversation..."
That being said, contemplating leaving your child with an abuser is a terrible idea. I had to flee my abusive husband and stay in a shelter. It was fine. Your child would be safer and happier in a shelter than to be abandoned by their mother and left with an abuser. As I found out the hard way, if they do it to you, they will do it to your child. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILD WITH THIS MAN.

• https://www.womenslaw.org/laws/nj/custody
• https://www.womenslaw.org/find-help/nj/advocates-and-shelters

I was able to get a restraining order against my ex-husband and I showed the judge text messages to prove it. If you have witnesses that can testify to the abuse. Anyone you told about it...?
Either way, you need to file for a restraining order, check into a shelter, let the job go. Your child is the most important thing, and yes, if you leave your child and then claim your husband was abusive, you will not get custody back.

1) Contact a local domestic violence group in NJ. Some of them can offer legal assistance. At the very least, they might be able to give you some ideas about what resources are available.
2) Choosing a lawyer: it is best to get an initial consult with at least 3 lawyers, so you can get an idea of prevailing rates. Note: the ones that advertise the most are not necessarily the best. Talk to anyone you know who has divorced or been to Family Court within the past 5-10 years.
3) Inquire about appearing telephonically or virtually. Due to Covid, some courts are be more open to this.
4) Your local court system should have links to resources - use them.

Go to CA with your daughter. Do not leave her alone with this violent person until you are court ordered to, as apparently his violence is escalating, and without you there, he might turn on her. Do make sure that you are open about when you are to minimize allegations of parental kidnapping. Your might be ordered back to NJ, but until then, you have to support yourself and her.

The best thing you have done so far is calling the police yesterday. Follow through on this. It is important that you have a restraining order from a NJ court. It is important that you do things in the right order.

It sounds like your spouse doesn't have a job or health insurance. How has he been contributing to the support of the family?

This is good advice. I forgot that when I left my abusive husband, I moved to another city and got an apartment. I did eventually return to our city, but I did not get in trouble for leaving, since there was domestic violence and I checked into a battered women's shelter. I would agree that she needs to file a police report & get a TRO.

 

[LdiJ]

If I leave without my child ( as he won't allow me to take her with me) and hire a lawyer from there, do I lose my chance for getting custody?
I have been out of job and desperately trying to find a job during pandemic, now I found something at a very good company and I don't want to be jobless again. I don't have any family or financial support so I don't want to end up having my child but force to live in a shelter.

If you leave for California, without the baby, it is highly likely that your husband will end up with primary custody. By the time the case gets all of the way through the court the status quo will be that the child lives with dad.