Spousal alimony

[Lookforward]

@not2cleverRed no they were both earned before marriage.

 

[not2cleverRed]

@not2cleverRed no they were both earned before marriage.

Good.

Listen to your lawyer, because it does not sound like your ex is into making this an amicable split. If the lawyer thinks that you'd be the one getting spousal support ask for it... because then you have something that you can compromise on.

Illinois is NOT a community property state; Illinois is an equitable division state.

"Equitable" does NOT mean equal. It can be equal, or it can be unequal, depending on mitigating factors. Why does she think she deserves a windfall from your parents' generosity?

How much of the listed assets are premarital?

Your children are minors. Do you have college funds set up for them?

 

[LdiJ]

Good.

Listen to your lawyer, because it does not sound like your ex is into making this an amicable split. If the lawyer thinks that you'd be the one getting spousal support ask for it... because then you have something that you can compromise on.

Illinois is NOT a community property state; Illinois is an equitable division state.

"Equitable" does NOT mean equal. It can be equal, or it can be unequal, depending on mitigating factors. Why does she think she deserves a windfall from your parents' generosity?

How much of the listed assets are premarital?

Your children are minors. Do you have college funds set up for them?

In the first post he said what his premarital Assets/gifts from his parents were. He did not mention what part of her assets were premarital.

 

[Lookforward]

@not2cleverRed I do not have a college fund set up, would it help if i set it up?

Marital funds are 1.2 Million
Premarital with Inheritance are 500 or so.
Her salary last year was 190 or so
Mine was 75 or so

Why is she asking for premarital money or half of the inheritance from my parents? I mean why not
What's stopping from asking?

I am working with my lawyer but just wanted to get an idea of what I am up for

 

[LdiJ]

@not2cleverRed I do not have a college fund set up, would it help if i set it up?

Marital funds are 1.2 Million
Premarital with Inheritance are 500 or so.
Her salary last year was 190 or so
Mine was 75 or so

Why is she asking for premarital money or half of the inheritance from my parents? I mean why not
What's stopping from asking?

I am working with my lawyer but just wanted to get an idea of what I am up for

Once again, you are only telling us what YOUR premarital funds are. You are not telling us what HER premarital funds are. Maybe you are going after funds that she considers to be separate therefore she is going after funds that you consider to be separate. You can't get good advice without full disclosure.

 

[Lookforward]

She does not have any pre-marital funds

 

[LdiJ]

She does not have any pre-marital funds

This is getting more and more confusing. In your first post you said that her total assets were $550,000 and your total assets were $650,000 and that $550,000 of your assets were premarital assets.

In a later post you said that total marital assets were $1.2 million.

However I do see why she might be balking at this point. It looks like you want to leave the marriage with the bulk of your assets intact, but you want half of her assets. Whether the law allows for that or not, it is just about guaranteed to make your asset division contested. Asking for spousal support on top of that would be like adding fuel to the fire.

 

[Lookforward]

Hello @LdiJ my apologies, below is the break down for a clear picture.


Her total marital assets 550k
My total marital assets 650k
Total Marital assets 1.2million
My premarital assets along with my inheritance 500k-550k (Ball Park)
She has no premarital assets.

Even if you split the Marital asset she will take more which i understand from a law perspective the marital money belongs to both not just her or me.

Thanks

 

[Zigner]

Hello @LdiJ my apologies, below is the break down for a clear picture.


Her total marital assets 550k
My total marital assets 650k
Total Marital assets 1.2million
My premarital assets along with my inheritance 500k-550k (Ball Park)
She has no premarital assets.

Even if you split the Marital asset she will take more which i understand from a law perspective the marital money belongs to both not just her or me.

Thanks

You are causing confusion because, generally, "marital assets" are not his & hers.

 

[LdiJ]

Hello @LdiJ my apologies, below is the break down for a clear picture.


Her total marital assets 550k
My total marital assets 650k
Total Marital assets 1.2million
My premarital assets along with my inheritance 500k-550k (Ball Park)
She has no premarital assets.

Even if you split the Marital asset she will take more which i understand from a law perspective the marital money belongs to both not just her or me.

Thanks

So, do I understand you correctly that your total assets (both marital and premarital) are 650k marital plus 550k separate assets.

If so, that does make things clearer.

 

[Lookforward]

You are causing confusion because, generally, "marital assets" are not his & hers.

From what i have read you are correct. I jus

So, do I understand you correctly that your total assets (both marital and premarital) are 650k marital plus 550k separate assets.

If so, that does make things clearer.

Yes that is correct .

 

[not2cleverRed]

@not2cleverRed I do not have a college fund set up, would it help if i set it up?

Marital funds are 1.2 Million
Premarital with Inheritance are 500 or so.
Her salary last year was 190 or so
Mine was 75 or so

Why is she asking for premarital money or half of the inheritance from my parents? I mean why not
What's stopping from asking?

I am working with my lawyer but just wanted to get an idea of what I am up for

It's something you should thing about addressing in your divorce settlement.

I think you really should focus on the whole picture, and the kids should be at the center of that. I have no idea of what the debate on that issue is, but you look up what are considered somewhat standard parenting plans are in your area, and what will be in the best interest of the children.

Both parents should support children. I suspect that your custody dispute is feeding/contributing to the other dispute(s).

P.S. Post divorce you should update your will. Consider who you want to entrust with the kids$ until they are adults, should the worst happen. You might prefer a sibling over your STBX.

 

[LdiJ]

It's something you should thing about addressing in your divorce settlement.

I think you really should focus on the whole picture, and the kids should be at the center of that. I have no idea of what the debate on that issue is, but you look up what are considered somewhat standard parenting plans are in your area, and what will be in the best interest of the children.

Both parents should support children. I suspect that your custody dispute is feeding/contributing to the other dispute(s).

P.S. Post divorce you should update your will. Consider who you want to entrust with the kids$ until they are adults, should the worst happen. You might prefer a sibling over your STBX.

However, unless the STBX is legally unfit, a judge is not going to take custody away from a parent if the other parent passes away.

 

[not2cleverRed]

However, unless the STBX is legally unfit, a judge is not going to take custody away from a parent if the other parent passes away.

I am talking about the assets, not custody.

It may be that OP and STBX have different views on how to handle assets.

In particular, OP and OP's siblings were gifted real estate. I imagine OP would want to leave his assets to his children, and the siblings would not wish to deal with the STBX, should something happen to OP.

I know my siblings would rather not deal with my ex in such a situation. I know my ex's sibling would be uncomfortable about dealing with me and issues concerning the family's property (also outside of the US), should things come to that.

 

[Zigner]

I am talking about the assets, not custody.

The way you wrote it before was a bit confusing. You wrote "Consider who you want to entrust with the kids$ until they are adults..." I see now that you meant "kids' money".