Child insurance issue

[KittyGrvs]

I live in CO. My son's father and I have shared custody (every other week), we alternate holidays, and we even alternate claiming him as a dependant for taxes. Everything is 50/50 except health insurance. His father specifically requested my son continue to be on his step mother's insurance plan. He took sole responsibility of that.

We had it set up so that whoever takes him in for regular visits will pay the copay and whatever else our son needs as a result. Should he need braces or emergency care, we would split the costs.

He doesn't understand that how all of this works. He also doesn't remember that, per court order, I don't have to help pay any of their premiums. As a result, he is trying to dictate how I use the insurance. For instance, I can't use the insurance to take my son in for a yearly physical. He said I can only use it in the event of an emergency. He set it up so that I'm required to give his wife's social security number and birth date when taking him to health care facilities. He refuses to give me that information.

Now my son needs new glasses because he broke his while sledding, but his father won't give me the information needed to get my son in for an exam.
What can I do in this situation?

 

[adjusterjack]

Eye exams are cheap.

So are new glasses if you buy them online from a place like Zenni.

How much could an annual physical be?

Your options: Spend a few hundred on your own or spend a fortune on a lawyer and get this resolved in court.

 

[LdiJ]

Eye exams are cheap.

So are new glasses if you buy them online from a place like Zenni.

How much could an annual physical be?

Your options: Spend a few hundred on your own or spend a fortune on a lawyer and get this resolved in court.

No all glasses are "cheap" and sometimes they are quite expensive for those not making a lot of money. Same for an annual exam.

Taking dad to court for not honoring the court orders does not necessarily require an attorney. Many people manage that sort of thing without one.

 

[cbg]

What can I do in this situation?

Make the appointment to be during Dad's week.

 

[stealth2]

Make the appointment to be during Dad's week.

Not cool...

 

[cbg]

Why? It's dad's insurance and dad wants to keep control of it, so why shouldn't dad take the kid to the doctor?

 

[stealth2]

Why? It's dad's insurance and dad wants to keep control of it, so why shouldn't dad take the kid to the doctor?

I don't think one parent should ever make plans on the other's time. Just me.

 

[cbg]

I think sometimes we take the party line as to what one parent should or should not do too far. In most cases I would agree with you, but I don't think this is the same thing as signing the kid up for football or dance lessons.

 

[LdiJ]

I live in CO. My son's father and I have shared custody (every other week), we alternate holidays, and we even alternate claiming him as a dependant for taxes. Everything is 50/50 except health insurance. His father specifically requested my son continue to be on his step mother's insurance plan. He took sole responsibility of that.

We had it set up so that whoever takes him in for regular visits will pay the copay and whatever else our son needs as a result. Should he need braces or emergency care, we would split the costs.

He doesn't understand that how all of this works. He also doesn't remember that, per court order, I don't have to help pay any of their premiums. As a result, he is trying to dictate how I use the insurance. For instance, I can't use the insurance to take my son in for a yearly physical. He said I can only use it in the event of an emergency. He set it up so that I'm required to give his wife's social security number and birth date when taking him to health care facilities. He refuses to give me that information.

Now my son needs new glasses because he broke his while sledding, but his father won't give me the information needed to get my son in for an exam.
What can I do in this situation?

As far as the glasses are concerned, I think that you should do whatever you need to do to get your son's glasses replaced.

In the meantime, I think that you should take your ex to court for contempt for him making it difficult to impossible for you to get your son treated, medically, when needed. Let the judge explain to him that he is being an idiot. Also, let the judge order him to repay you for what you had to pay to get your son's glasses replaced because he was being an idiot.

 

[stealth2]

I think sometimes we take the party line as to what one parent should or should not do too far. In most cases I would agree with you, but I don't think this is the same thing as signing the kid up for football or dance lessons.

I just know it would've raised my hackles if my ex made an appt on my time...

 

[cbg]

Sounds to me like this particular ex needs a wake up call on the realities of doctors and insurance, and I can't think of a better way of bringing the lesson home.

 

[stealth2]

Sounds to me like this particular ex needs a wake up call on the realities of doctors and insurance, and I can't think of a better way of bringing the lesson home.

You could well be right.

 

[AlmostThere]

Why? It's dad's insurance and dad wants to keep control of it, so why shouldn't dad take the kid to the doctor?

Because one parent should not be disallowed or disincentivized to provide appropriate medical care or have to ask permission to take the common child to the doctor.

 

[cbg]

Because one parent should not be disallowed or disincentivized to provide appropriate medical care or have to ask permission to take the common child to the doctor.

I do not disagree with that in the abstract. But, as I said above, this particular ex seems to need a lesson in the realities of providing medical care to his children. If he is determined to keep control of the insurance, he thus can be held responsible for all (non-emergency) care of the child. I have worked with health insurance long enough to know that in a true emergency, medical care would not be withheld from the child due to lack of insurance information. In a non-emergency? Dad can either cough up the insurance information, or he can take the kid to the doctor himself.

I completely understand that mine is the minority view.

 

[zddoodah]

We had it set up so that. . . .

So this arrangement is set forth in the court-issued custody order?

What can I do in this situation?

You can follow the terms of the court's custody order and, if your child's other parent isn't following the order, you can seek to have him held in contempt.